gramma

I would like to thank everyone that responded to my entry. I have been better since, I guess I was having a bad day. Thank you

I am alive! I lived through 3 strokes. Found out I have cns vasculitis through a brain biopsy. My kids dont call me or see how I am doing. I suffer from depression. I have daily headaches, pain in my hips and I am just having a bad day. I hate it. I am blessed to be alive, but I am miserable.

Most days are the same, headaches and always a bit tired, but yesterday was really bad. I ran out of my night time med Ziprexa. The night that I did not have it I had a horrible sleep and ended up being so very tired and grumpy yesterday. Just happy I have my med now.

Thank you for all comments. Hubby and I did talk and things are ok. I get these horrible headaches and it gets me down and not feeling well, every day. Hubby is going to be getting on the ball about finding a job. He is retired and I am on disability. The stress of not having enough money is one of our biggest problems.

Hubby and i had a huge argement tonight. I think and wish I could just pack up and move back to texas. Just a bit about what happened--since i had my strokes, when i have to urinate, i have to urinate!!!! I have cats, which my husband does not like. The cats sometimes for whatever reason like to drink from the toilet. husband has started putting the lid down and shutting the door to the bathroom. If he was just doing one of those things it would not be so bad, but he is shutting the door and putting down the lid. I did not make it to the bathroom on time two times today because of this. I told him this and it turned out to be a huge arguement. I moved here to be closer to my son, grandson and daughter. I dont want to have to move back. the thing is i am stuck!! i am married to this guy and i cant drive because of my auto immune disease. i cant move in with my son or my daughter, my only choice is to move back to texas, but i cant drive there. i think the stress has just been building up and it finally blew, think all this stress is why i am having all these headaches lately, even though it is my vasculitis but it is bad when i am under stress and my dumb ass husband knows this but he does nothing to stop the stress. i just do not know what to do.

Hi fking, yes the honeymoon is over. I just so need a break. We have only been married just over a year, we have known each other for years. If i could drive I would take off and drive around and not be so bored all the time, but the drs wont let me drive anymore. Maybe it is the weather getting me down, i cant wait till I can go for walks, it is just cold here. Myaybe i just need to see my daughter or talk to my mom. i am just tired of being miserable.

dont know if it is my vasculitis or i am just in a bad mood today. hubby has really gotten on my nerves today. he really needs to get out of my hair and get a job. i think it is that we are always together, i get no break from him. i wish i could get a job but i cant because of my vasculitis, my dr says i cant work anymore. and the one i am married to says we need more money, but he wont get a damned job. it is good that he gets retirement and i have my money from disability, but he should get the job, or at least look for a job, as he says he needs. being on medicare helps my situation now, i think. i have to think on it to be sure of my next move.

Having a good valentines day. Christy came by and she is coming back by after she goes to the movies with yvette. Rene gave me a beautiful bracelet for valentines day. I love it. It saays I love you and has hearts and is gold. Christy gave me a coffee mug that has hearts on it and a frog stuffed animal that says Be Mine on it. She is coming back after the movie. I gave her a card, I hope she likes it. I forgot to send Amys card to her so she will get it late. Talked to my mom. Started out with a headache but took 1 and a half pain pill and it has gone away. Rene and I went out to Olive Garden yesterday for valentines day. Got a bottle of wine and have some left to drink later.

Rene, hubby, has been going through my stuff. I dont know if he is trying to find my money or what, but my stuff has been moved and I can tell he has gone trough my things. I have asked him about and of course he told me he does not, but I have had money missing for the past 4 months. I dont get much money for ssi but he should not be stealing from me, just ask if he needs money. And dont go through my stuff. He keeps going through my purses, I have several. Even though he denide it, I know he is going through my stuff, I keep having to check how much money I have when he goes out. I hate not trusting my own husband. It sucks!!!!

Had another migrain. at least it was not another stroke. they did a cat scan to rule out a stroke. have me iv pain meds. I am already on a daily pill for migrains but I guess it isnt working.

I guess my jack is still sick, he didnt come to his daddies house this week. I miss him. I got him some jammies from the store I hope he likes them, I love spoiling my baby. I hope he is feeling better to come to his daddies hoouse this week.

I guess I am having a flare of my vasculitis because I am having such bad headaches the past few days, nothing has helped, I keeping popping pills. Christy came by today and is coming by this evening with food and maybe if my headache isnt too bad I will have a glass of wine to toast the new year. The dumb ass I am married to made me mad last night with the way he treated my son when he and my grandson came over for dinner last night. If things keep up like this I dont think we will make it to two years of marriage. I am not happy and he cant be happy if Im not. I just want to cry all the time and be by myself and away from him. shessssssssssssss.

not much going on, kinda bored. watcing the bronkos game and listening to my music. besides that I have been doing word search today, very, very bored!!!!

Had a wonderful christmas with the kids and Jack. I got a call last night from Amy, she loved her necklace I sent her. Christy brought over some food from their dinner. It was a wonderful day. Got to talk to my mom, sister and Amy. Christy, Yvette, Joey, Jack and Zachery came over for their presents. It was a wonderful day. I loved all the presents my mom sent me.

I was there for 5 hours for a dang root canal!!!!!!!!!!! At least they let me go to the bathroom one time. I was sooooooo tired and hungry when we got out of there it was unreal.

Well, I finally got all my chistmas shopping done. yay :ChristmasTree: Woke up with one of my killer headaches today, but i had a cup of coffee so I hope it is taken care of, if not I will have to take a pill. Yep, all my shopping is done, even for zachery because I found out he would coming over with my son so I got him a couple of presents so he wouldnt feel left out when my jack opens his presents. I love christmas!! :santasmiley: :reigndeer:

Went out to dinner with the kids and my precious Jack to Red Lobster with Rene. My mom sent me a really nice necklace with my birthstones in it with a locket setting and little Jack gave me a mouse pad with his picture from his football team, I love it. We had a really nice time. My Mom called me, my aunt called me but my youngest still hasnt called me. guess she forget about my birthday, that is ok. Yvette made me a cake.

My poor grandson jack has swine flu.

Actually, it was my cousins wife that past away. I didnt know that they had gotten married. I am keeping in touch with her to make sure she is doing ok, as is the rest of the family.

Had the aura and nausa with it. My dinner didnt sit in my stomach for long. At least my dr gave me meds for the upset stomach, but man did I end up with a killer headache. I hate migrains. I knew I was going to get the dang thing when I got the aura, so I took a pain pill and i took the nausa pill, but shortly after I layed down I got sick to my stomach all over my bed. had no time to make it to the bath room. On a really bad note my cousins girlfriend past away yesterday. I am worried about her, as is the whole family, I hope she will be ok. We use to be really close when we were growing up. I hope and pray she is ok, she live in another state.

I am doing better and I am taking my other migrain med as i am told to until i get the new med. i hope it work better. I get daily headache anyway because of my auto immune deasease. So I am double cursed, :Tantrum: :BashHead: :Argh:

Before supper last night I got off of the recliner and I got really dizzy and I got a super bad headache. I was seeing double and I ahd to get help to get to my bedroom. I thought I was having another stroke. I layed down for a bit but it didnt help. My husband took me to the er. the did a cat scan and all the usual test for stroke. thankfully it wasnt another stroke, the dr said it was a migrain which I have suffered from for years. He suggested a med I can take so I am going to ask my dr for that maed when I go to the dr this month. They gave me ev pain med whicch did take away the pain, thankfully, I wish I had i sooner appt so I coould have releife now. for now i have to take hydrocode which only sometimes works on my headaches. I am just thankful I didnt have another stroke.