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Stroke Caregiver - female
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About workngrl50

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  • Birthday 04/05/1954

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  1. Happy Anniversary workngrl50!

  2. Happy Anniversary workngrl50!

  3. Happy Anniversary workngrl50!

  4. workngrl50

    A Day at UMC

    University Medical Center is the largest hospital in Las Vegas and I feel I know it way too well. I could probably give tours, I know my way around so well. I was down there yesterday from about 6:15am to10:00 because Joey finally had his feeding tube removed. Wow. That feels like one of the last things he needed to feel more normal. In fact he's sleeping on his stomach now. We'll be back, though, because they found an ulcer and want to do further diagnostic work. But that's another day. We went from there to see a new doctor. He's the medical director of the facility where Joey attends rehab. What a great guy. He's adjusted Joey's meds so he can have less pain and get more sleep. This will help him so much. Finally someone who doesn't see him as just a drug-seeking crybaby. He will be weaned off the pain meds slowly as his strength and endurance return. That was such good news. My oldest son turns 21 today and he was over for a bit before he met up with friends to celebrate. Then Katy called. She wanted a ride to rehab. She checked into rehab and eloped the next day 9 times this month. I told her if she got there on her own I would meet her ther to discuss her placement in a locked facility. She got down ther so I did too and we talked to the staff. They agreed she should be in a secure placement. She was talking about taking something to go to sleep and never wake up. So another trip to UMC. I hate these situations. They ask for insurance info and my response is "I'm not her legal guardian." I have learned, though, to be able to look people in the eye and say, "My parental rights were terminated...etc." with no apology or explanation. I can answer all the questions about Katy's history and my bad behavior with shoulders back, chin up, and no defensive attitude. Even though the doctor had a very hard time looking at me. After 6 hours, we were informed that Katy would be taken by ambulance to a locked facility. I told the doctor I was leaving. She said, "You can leave when the ambulance arrives." I said, "I can leave now." She started to tell me the rules. I interrupted, "I am not her guardian. I have neither the right nor the responsibilty to stay. Thanks for letting me wait with Katy. It kept her out of restraints and I know she'll be safe tonight. It also kept you from having to have some one watch her closely. But I've told Katy good-bye and SHE'S okay with that. So thank you and have a good night." Got home after midnight. Another day at UMC. And everything turned out fine.
  5. workngrl50

    I really enjoyed reading this entry...Somehow, though, when I read that your friend brought you strawberries I just got stuck there. Mmmmmmm fresh strawberries. It's winter here but reading your message makes me think I can taste summer. I like hearing about just the day to day things. I'm going to make an effort to get into chat soon. I so enjoy the "company" of you all and I'd like to get better acquainted. Have a wonderful day! Lorri
  6. workngrl50

    Great news and thx for sharing it with us. I love to hear those things. I remember thinking during Joey's recovery that things just happened over night, but you're right, the brain is amazing and is working really hard to heal when we can't see it. Those miracles help to keep me going til the next one. I'll continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Lorri
  7. workngrl50

    Survivor Guilt

    Yesterday we attended a conference where Joey goes to rehab. The objective was to assess the prgress he's made since admission and set goals for his recovery including a discharge date. The staff thought sometime in April and he suggested April 22 which is his birthday. So that's the target date. He's made amazing progress. It's a miracle that he's here and no one expected he'd be doing this well so soon. And since he is doing so well everyone is interested to see just how far he can go. He came out of that conference really motivated. When we got home, Joey got a phone call from a friend. Two of his friends, Amber and Jacque, were in a car accident. Amber is in the hospital, Jacque died at the scene. He is devastated at the loss of his friend. He said, "Why would I live and Jacque died?" I have similar feelings but nothing so intense. In my sobriety I've often wondered why people who seemed to want to be sober so much more than I did are still suffering in addiction and I, who thought I could never live without drugs and alcohol, have been given the gift of sobriety. I don't know how to answer questions like that. But it does make my sobriety even more precious to me. Joey was feeling everything more intensely last night. He hasn't slept well, and I can hear him talking in his sleep as I write this. I don't know how to answer his questions or relieve his guilt. He did everything wrong the night of his accident and survived. The accident that killed Jacque was not her fault. She'd done nothing wrong and she died. He's glad he's here but so sad that Jacque is gone. It's just hit him so close to home. He'll get through it though. He's a survivor.
  8. workngrl50

    Great message, Kathy. And great comments. I'm always amazed and inspired when I see people facing difficulties with such courage. Life is good. Reading this makes me want to yell, "Go Team!" Have a wonderful New Year. Lorri
  9. Patanne, I have no doubt you love your husband very much. Your feelings for him are expressed beautifully in your post. I understand, too, how much you miss him even though he is still with you. My son is doing quite well since his accident. His injuries have left him with many of the disabilities people experience after a brain-stem stroke. And I think we've all adjusted quite well to the "new" Joey. But I often miss my son. For instance: he has a paralyzed vocal chord so his voice doesn't sound like it used to. Every now and then it does, though, and when I hear it I realize I miss how he used to be. Lots of little things like that. This site has been a great resource. I can vent those type feelings without having to worry about being judged or even misunderstood. Take care and enjoy the New Year, Lorri
  10. workngrl50

    Leah, Glad you had a nice Christmas. My experience has been that things rarely turn out the way I plan them. I really like your "just do the foot-work" attitude. It's something I'm trying to apply in my own life. Enjoy the New Year! Lorri :happy new yea:
  11. workngrl50

    I Resolve To...

    My oldest daughter and I have not had much contact over the last several years and most of it was very unpleasant. She's had a very hard time forgiving me for the many things I've done throughout my life. I'd like to blame it all on my addiction issues but the truth is, while that made things much worse, a lot of it was just ignorance and bad behavior. Since Joey's accident we've seen each other a few times and I've made contact with her regarding Joey's progress and other things I thought she might want to know about. Trying not to impose but finding any excuse to make contact. Mostly in the form of text messages... Yesterday she returned the text message. Then she called on Joey's phone. An hour later she was at our house with my two grandsons and we were having a little Christmas. It was one day late but to me it was right on time. And this afternoon after rehab I'm taking Joey to her house and I'm invited as well. Imagine... SO! It's time for New Year's Resolutions. I'm making a few. I'm going to exercise more. I'm going to the senior center and signing up. I am going to quit smoking this year. I'm going to do at least one random act of kindness each day. Every time I fall behind on any of these things I'm gonna pick myself up, dust myself off and get right back to it. I learned this year, never give up. Never give up. NEVER give up. Virtue should be it's own reward and sometimes it is but this year has taught me that miracles happen and sometimes they happen in MY life. Who knows? I might be running a marathon at the end of next year (not). Look out, 2008. It doesn't matter what you have in store, I believe I can take it. Here I come....
  12. workngrl50

    What a great Christmas!!! And I just want to tell you that I love your photo as well. Your eyes just sparkle! Enjoy resting up for New Year's and make it great. Lorri :happy new yea:
  13. workngrl50

    Gratitude List

    I'm very healthy. I'm pretty. I'm lucky enough not to have to work right now. I'm not a food addict. I'm sober. I have people in my life that love me. I have people in my life that I love. I don't have to ride the bus. I have a car with a heater and a CD player. I'm not homeless. As confused as I sometimes feel, I don't have serious mental health issues. I have a phone, a computer and cable TV. I know how to read and I love reading. I'm never broke. I can buy almost anything I want. I can give my kids anything they need. Joey's voice is getting stronger all the time. I got a camera for Christmas...a really fine camera. Alex still calls. All of my kids are alive for Christmas. I have a good man in my life who loves me. I was able to give nice Christmas present to the important people in my life. I'm drinking really good coffee with real cream. It's almost 2008 and I'm still here. I finally finished my 5th step. We have 5 new kittens. I live in a city where everything is open 24/7. I have a handful of people in my life that I could call in a crisis and they would rush to my rescue. I have people who could call me and I would be able to respond. I KNOW there IS a GOD who is concerned with me and want me to be happy. I'm finally understanding that almost everything that happens in my life is God's will and my job is to get with the program and work with it, not try to turn it into what I think it should be. My friend suggested I write a gratitude list. I try to take suggestions. I decided to do it here because I spend lots of time here, I can review it frequently and I can add to it as appropriate.
  14. workngrl50

    I'm just now reading this and thought I'd throw my two cents in. Certain anti-depressants (some SRIs) like Zoloft have the side effect of vivid and bizarre dreams, nightmares, even night terrors. There are other rare and unusual side effects associated with these meds as well but sometimes the benefit out-weighs the risk. Hope some of your dreams are wonderful. Lorri
  15. workngrl50

    Great list! I've always wished I cared as much about detail as you do. "I can't think with my right hand" reminded me that I tell people, "I can't hear without my glasses." And a lot of times I don't wear my glasses. I guess that's like people who turn their hearing aids down... Oh well. Thanks for posting this. I feel like I know you a little better now. Lorri P.S. I don't shave my legs at all. I've NEVER had hair on my legs. That's a good thing.