pjoy,
again, my deepest condolences go out to you and your son for the loss of seth. everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. each individual needs to go thru their own grief process so whatever is right or necessary for you will be different for someone else. the grief of a widow with young children will be different from that of a childless widow, or an elderly widow. a woman with young children must cope with her child's confusion and grief as well as her own, and that comes on top of the stress of suddenly becoming a single parent.
you might benefit from discussing your feelings with a medical professional or joining a bereavement support group. please take care of your son and yourself as you deal with a most difficult time and always know that we are here for you.