Doreen

Dear Sue, What can I say that has not already been said, I am feeling your pain and sending all my positive thoughts your way for Ray, you and your family. I am so sad reading your post, you know in your own mind that you have done your upmost to keep Ray with you in your home...but there comes a time that we all know when is the time to have a loved one cared for in a nursing home. Sue, You will all be in my thoughts and prayers. xx Doreen

I would like to thank everyone for my birthday wishes last month, had a lovely day. I have not blogged for such a long time, I just don't seem to have the time or anything interesting to talk about as each day is the same as the day before. We don't get vistors anymore apart from family now and then as they live too far for weekly visits. We see them maybe every 3 months or so but talk often on the phone. We did enjoy see our granddaughter and her three children in August, they stayed for 10 days. Over the Christmas holidays we hope to go to the country and spend Christmas with him and his family, they want us to move up beside them and he wants us to look at land and have a house built on his estate so we are close enough for Bill to pop around to see them in a few minutes. We will wait and see when we get there, it would be lovely to have them close and would look forward to spending more time with them but not live in their pockets. Well must go now ...things to do and will try and get into chat this morning. Hugs Doreen

Hi Sue, Enjoy your little holidays, take care. Everyone said to me that I looked glowing, when they saw me after my respite break. It did me the world of good talking to others. Hugs Doreen

Well all was well with Bill and son Steve while I was away for my respite break, Steve did a couple of jobs around the house that needed doing such as putting back some tiles that had came off in the shower and fixed a leak in the toilet. Steve said all was ok, they went out to the local shops and he took him to the Botanical Gardens. The group was very friendly and we all got on well and I am going to make a dvd of all the photos we took, the two ladies from the organisation that arranged our break is coming to the house to download their photos and we are going to choose the best ones and also the music to go with the photos. We are all meeting again for coffee so the can pick up their dvd's. The massage was out of this world and we all talked none stop for the four days, the food was fantastic and the great thing was we could enjoy it as we did not have to cook it or clean up. Well must go, Bill is nearly finished with his shower. I like this time in the morning Mon-Wed-Fri as I can get on the computer and catch up with emails while the shower nurse is looking after Bill. I was trying to put in a photo but don't know how in the blog. Hugs Doreen

Kristen, Beautiful photos, Patrick would have felt so good driving back home. It makes you feel so good when you have had a good day out together. Thank you for sharing. Hugs Doreen

Dear Sue, Daylight saving is early this year, it is hard for Bill as well to adapt to changes. He is in a routine and if the usual things are not done at that time he gets agitated. I do hope Ray gets used to Tuesdays and intergrates, you will be worried until you know he has settled. I go on my respite tomorrow and so looking forward to it but worried that Bill might be a bit much for our son, Steve has a little hearing problem and Bill's speech is not clear and when he says words they are in a whisper. I have told Bill to write the words down if he can. Take care Sue, I always look forward to reading your blogs and gaining strength from your wisdom and your strength. Hugs Doreen

Sue You always sound so very strong and I know you are but I know some days you must feel overwelmed so Sending big {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} your way Doreen

Thank you I am looking forward to just being able to look after me for a change and not have Bill following me no matter where or what I am doing. He does not let me out of his sight. If I go to hang washing on the line he is at the laundry door looking out ... blocking it so he has to back out from the doorway to let me back in. So it will be good to be with other carers listening to how they cope. Doreen

I am pleased to say I am going to have a break. Son Steve & family came down last Saturday for a few days as the kids are on 2 weeks holiday. They left Wednesday, Steve could not get his dad to change his mind and go into respite while I went to the country with the carers support group so he told me he wanted me to have this break and he would look after his dad. He will come down on the Mon night, I leave 9am Tuesday morning 7th Oct and come back 5pm Friday 10th Oct. His wife Jenny said she did not mind as they know I need this break, it will be the first break since he had his stroke over 16 months ago. Here is a link to the place where the carers are going to, all paid for The Cumberland Marysville and Villa Day Spa http://www.thecumberland.com.au/index.php all I have to take is spending money for extra drinks and souveniers etc. I am even booked in for a free massage as that is covered by the community/government program for carers. I feel so grateful to have a caring son like him and that our daughter in law understands, she is a lovely girl. The live in the country 3 hours away from us and they have 4 kids 17 boy, 15 boy, 12 girl and 10 year old boy. I can't wait until next week. :cloud9: hugs Doreen

Dear Sue, I am thinking of you both and glad Ray is home with you and you don't have the drive to the hospital each day as that in it's self is very tiring. The milder weather will help as you will be able to get into the garden as I can see the difference in Bill with these milder days as we have been in the garden all afternoon. Sending big {{{{{{hugs}}}}} to you both. Doreen Melbourne

Dear Sue, My heart goes out to you both, you and Ray are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs Doreen

I love reading the blogs as it helps me in caring for my husband Bill, he also does not like theraphy and says he is too old. He does go to Day therapy once a week between 9-30- 12.00 but it is not proper exercise one on one woth a physio therapist. I wish I could write as well as you and Sue and a few others but I find it is hard to put into words my feelings. Hugs to you Doreen I am in Australia like Sue but in Melbourne

Dear Sue, I am sorry to read about Ray, I hope the find out the cause and he is in the best place for them to find out. Take care Sue I know what you must feel not knowing what the future holds. We had an emotional afternoon yesterday as I had a fall trying to get Bill back into his wheelchair and the leg of my slacks caught on his footplate and Bill was in a state seeing me like that on the floor. Lucky I was only bruised and sore but it has brought it home that we are on our own as our family live so far away. I was so frightened and scared for Bill seeing him as it brought it home to him that he could not help me. Take care and try to rest while Ray is in hospital. Hugs Doreen

I belong to my local carers support group and they rang to say they are going to the country from the 6th Oct -11th Oct and did I need a break. Do I need a break!!!! I sure do. I have never had a break since Bill had is stroke last May, he will not go into respite. I have plenty of time to try and change his mind as I have said yes and we will see what happens. I do need a break and everyone, including our doctor as tried to explain to Bill that I need to recharge my batteries but he is stubbon and plays up refusing to go. I may need to make up his mind for him but we feel it would be better if Bill agreed to go and it not be only me making him go into respite. Bill knows I have health issues of my own and get very fatigued from my illnesses but it still does not sway him to go into respite so I can have a rest. I have told him if I get sick and end up in hospital he will be put into care then where will he be but he thinks he can look after himself while I am away. He is having a nap now which is very unusual as he hardly ever has a nap. He is up at 7-30am these cold mornings, I get up at 7am, put the heating on then make his breakfast ready for him getting up. In the warmer weather he was up at 6am as well as me and I hate getting up that early as I used to get up about 8am. Bill has always been an early riser. I am now going to put the wood fire on and make a cup of coffee. I have enjoyed writing down my feelings it is helping me as I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. Even going to the carers support group they all know each other as they have been going for a long time and I have not had a chance to talk but listen to them talking about their problems as I have only been twice. Doreen

Hi Asha, Bill cannot read music, he plays by ear but he does get on the piano sometimes and tries to play with his left hand but he gets frustrated and does not stay on for long. His physio said he is ok to leave on his own for a couple of hours at a time so on a Thursday morning I do volunteer work at my local neighbourhood centre where I run a computer club for seniors. I used to have respite for 3 hours and a carer used to stay with him on that Thursday but Bill used to act up on that morning so by the time I went out I was exhausted. I used to teach two classes per week and help out in the office and on the reception desk, I used to volunteer 10/12 hours per week but now down to two hours and I miss it. Bill would like to go out every day but I have health problems myself and have had back operations and have osteo arthritis in my hips and spine it is getting harder to lift his wheelchair into the car so have to tell him we can only go out every 2nd day. Also I only go to the local shopping centre as I have only been driving since last October and Bill was a truckie and tries to tell me how to drive and he used to grab the steering wheel when I was trying to park. He does not do that now as I told him that he would not come in the car with me again if he did that. We have no family close to us as all our family are in the UK and our son lives 3 hours away and daughter live a 2 hour flight away so we are on our own as most of our friends don't call in any more and their excuse is it is heartbreaking to see Bill trying to talk and seeing him in his wheelchair. I have never blogged before and once I have started it is hard to stop pouring my heart out. Must go now as Bill is now getting ready after his shower so I am putting on the kettle for a coffee for him and his carer. Doreen

Well it is over a year since my husband Bill had his stroke, we were on holiday in the UK only 2 weeks when it happened. It was May 25th, we got to the hospital and the doctor said she thought he was having a stroke and was sending him for an x-ray, well he came back semi-unconscious. He had the big one while at the x-ray dept. He was in hospital for 4 months, went from hospital to airport, from airport to hospital when we got home to Australia. Another month in hospital, he has come a long way and is talking a little better and can now raise his right leg straight while sitting in the chair. The doctor told us in the UK that he would never talk or walk again but he is proving them wrong. One of the sister's told us not to take any notice of what the doctor said and to try the best you can to get better. The physio's here in Australia have told him that he will walk again but will have a limp. At the moment he is walking a little every day with a 4 pronged walking stick, they said he will not get the use of his arm or hand back which is the saddest part of this all as he used to play the piano every day. It is his right side that is paralysed. He will not go into respite, In the early part of June it was arranged for him to go into respite as I was at breaking point and I ended up not going as Bill was crying all the time that he did not want to go. I did not have the heart to send him. Well must go, dinner is ready. Doreen

Hi Sue, Enjoy your time with your daughter and family, relax, as you say Ray has been there before and they look after him well. I have enjoyed reading your blogs and it has helped me in my caring for Bill. Hugs Doreen :aussie: