avantgardener

Stroke Caregiver - female
  • Content Count

    120
  • Joined

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About avantgardener

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 10/08/1957

Shared Information

  • Facebook URL
    http://www.iamlmai.org
  • Interests
    gardening (duh!)<br />antiquarian books<br />other books too<br />Charles Darwin/evolution<br />science in general<br />Victorian literature/society

Registration Information

  • First Name
    Janine
  • State
    CA
  1. Happy Anniversary avantgardener!

  2. Happy Anniversary avantgardener!

  3. avantgardener

    My how things change...but not really

    Well, it has been 2 years since Larry's stroke. Obviously I have moved on quite a bit, since I haven't been on this site in a long while. It's funny how it works - as long as I keep moving, it's like when you are swimming and your hair streams out behind you - you don't even notice it. It's only when you stop, and it swirls around you, that you notice it's there. I keep very busy, and for the most part don't give myself a lot of time to think about how much has been lost or what has changed. Larry is well...in a strange way. Since the stroke he has lost a lot of weight, and his blo
  4. avantgardener

    wow, I am really lucky!

    I just read all the posted responses to my "anniversary' blog message...I can't believe that so many people remember me after I've been so remiss about staying in touch. Guilt! Guilt! But, so good to know that you are all here. Larry and I made it through the day pretty well. It hit me a couple of times, but the good thing about being this busy is that you just don't have time to feel too sorry for yourself. I reminded Larry tonight that it's been a year, and started telling him about what I remember of that day, but he shushed me and didn't want to hear it. I don't blame him, I'm
  5. avantgardener

    Can it really be a whole year??

    Tomorrow is the anniversary of Larry's stroke - and though it certainly won't be an anniversary that we'll celebrate, I will definitely be marking the day. I'm proud of us both for having lived through this and come more or less out the other side. There were many days when I didn't believe that was going to happen. Looking back on the last year is in many ways like reading about someone else's life: interesting, but very third person. There's a weird detachment, especially in the early weeks and months, and if I hadn't been scrupulous about writing things down I would have no memory at a
  6. avantgardener

    My dear friend Joy on this site has been wonderful to me - I have learned so much from her, and the grace and dignity with which she conducts her life in the face of incredible adversity has been more than an inspiration. There have been times when I emailed her at 3AM in total despair because I could not figure out how I was going to get through the next day, and she has talked me down off the ledge more than once. I do have friends, but someone who's been through all this and can offer you something more than "call me if I can do anything to help" is a treasure. Anyone who has come
  7. avantgardener

    Happy new year!

    I started keeping an informal diary/journal when Larry first had his stroke, mainly because I found that so much was happening so fast that I could not remember from one day to the next what was going on if I didn't write it down. At first I wrote in it every day, and the handwriting is very dense and cramped and anxious-looking when I go back and read the entries from those first weeks. As time passed, there were days when I wrote only a few sentences, or nothing. The writing loosened up and started to look more like my usual meandering scrawl that somewhat resembles my thought process - s
  8. avantgardener

    Vi, I forgot about you and your pole dance...the nice thing about having lost my mind this year is that I can be entertained by the exact same thing over and over again - it's just like hearing it all new for the first time! See, there really IS a plus side to everything...
  9. avantgardener

    Coumadin

    Well, here I am again. Things have been pretty up-and-down for the past month. Larry landed in the hospital twice - the first time because he was having atrial fibrillation, and the second time because of a bad reaction to Coumadin, which he was given as part of the a-fib treatment. The Coumadin caused Larry to have internal bleeding, and he ended up with a major hematoma around his kidneys. The hematoma pressed on the kidneys so that he couldn't produce urine, and of course that is not good. To make a very long story short, he was in the ICU for 3 days, then in the hospital f
  10. avantgardener

    Remember me??

    I'm embarrassed by how long it's been since I've written here. Insert all the usual excuses - no time, too busy, etc. etc. - all are true! I guess the real reason is that I've come out the other side of the initial craziness, and am not feeling as needy as I did at first after Larry's stroke. Weird as it may seem, all of this has become a routine, and although I would never have chosen it, this is our new life and we've adjusted. It's been 7 months since Larry's stroke. Seems like a lifetime ago! I was a totally different person B.S. than I am A.S., and Larry is too, and someho
  11. avantgardener

    Remember me??

    I'm embarrassed by how long it's been since I've written here. Insert all the usual excuses - no time, too busy, etc. etc. - all are true! I guess the real reason is that I've come out the other side of the initial craziness, and am not feeling as needy as I did at first after Larry's stroke. Weird as it may seem, all of this has become a routine, and although I would never have chosen it, this is our new life and we've adjusted. It's been 7 months since Larry's stroke. Seems like a lifetime ago! I was a totally different person B.S. than I am A.S., and Larry is too, and someho
  12. avantgardener

    Not a newbie anymore

    It's been really busy around here, and I have not had much time to write. The days seem to get away from me, and are gone before I know what happened. Larry's been a bit under the weather the last few days - nothing serious, but the heavy duty antibiotics that he's had to take because of his recent urinary tract infection have wreaked havoc with his system, and not to give too much information, but if I say that it's been a purgative experience for him you will get the idea. We will both be glad when he's finally done taking them tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm concerned that he may sti
  13. avantgardener

    Adjusting

    It's been a pretty good week, all things considered. I'm still a bit sore from the surgery, but nothing major, and I've been able to go back to work with no problems. I feel a bit guilty about how much I liked being in the hospital - maybe it's because they wouldn't let me eat, so I didn't have to put up with hospital food! I lost 10 lbs, which means I'm down about 50 lbs now since Larry's stroke, and I feel wonderful - I suspect now that the gallbladder problem was creating symptoms for about a year that I didn't realize were there. My energy level has gone way up since the surgery, and I
  14. avantgardener

    Surprise!

    Well, I was right - I shouldn't have asked what was next! I haven't been on this site for a few days, because I had unexpected gallbladder surgery on Tuesday. We were having dinner Sunday night and I was suddenly in excruciating pain; I had to call 911 after 3 hours when it still had not passed. It turned out that I had gallstones and pancreatitis, so the gallbladder had to go. The surgery went fine, and they sent me home yesterday afternoon. I'm sore now, but all things considered I feel pretty good, and I can go back to work Monday. Cecilia stayed here at the house with Lar
  15. avantgardener

    Ann...that is so funny...I got what sounds like the exact same survey the other day - it had questions that I can't remember now, but one was "who do you miss the most"?, and my answer was "Larry, before the stroke". It's true that it feels as though he is gone, and someone else is here in his place. The hardest thing to get used to is the way he "yells" at me now. He would never have done that before unless were having a huge fight, which was almost never. It really gets under my skin, and hurts my feelings, although I know it's not really him talking. I feel so despondent sometimes! It