FAIRLAKELADY1

I haven't blogged in awhile; Mike has done sooooo great! We had figured out that his antidepressant needed to be doubled and after about 4 days of the new dosage it was like he awoke from a dream; his speech got better, his short term memory got better and his comprehension got better; We have been "basking in the sunshine of normalcy" for a few weeks! IT FELT SO GOOD. Thursday he called me at work and said something was wrong with his hand; after rushing home to him we went by ambulance back to the hospital hoping this was just a minor glitch to get over. But here we are again having to fight with the doctors, keep up with the changing of medicines and worry about who REALLY knows what they are talking about! One doctor had me in tears yesterday because he made me so mad. He was of the attitude that he didn't need to hear me say anything he had read the chart he knew all about his past history. He interpreted it wrong and basically told me we were back to square one as we were in January! (i argued about the information he gave and what happened in January but he informed me that THE COMPUTER said so.) After rolling his eyes at me as if I were a total idiot I shut my mouth and waited for him to leave. As the door closed mike said "come here" you are mad. You are darn tooting I am mad! When a total stranger tries to tell me I don't know anything about the medical condition of my husband it definitely makes me mad! My every moment since January has been to make sure he was okay, had his medicines, made speech therapy appts, made dozens of doctors appointments and yet I don't know what happened in January! Please, I can recite anything they need to know about Mike don't talk to me like I am an embecile! He has not lived the nightmare we have lived therefore he has no right to treat us as we were treated! To make things worse, FINALLY Mike's Neuro Doc came in and through tears I told him how happy I was to see him that the doctor this a.m. had upset me tremendously! Guess what?! The mean doctor is Mikes' Neuro Doctor's partner! Long story short, I told him what he said and that I disagreed with the information he gave me because it was not what I understood from Dr. Beuchner in January and he said "me either". So then he said let me just check on something! Apparently he went and spoke with the "mean doctor" because he came back and tried to explain what the guy was meaning to say. Mean Doctor had to remove the size 12 shoe from his mouth! BOY SOMETIMES I HATE DOCTORS!!! :yadayada: Lot of decisions are going to have to be made. We are at the point that unless we think Mike is dying we are not going to agree to another surgery. The one in January was supposed to be a piece of cake and fix the problem. only an 8% chance that things would go wrong! GUESS WHAT!!! Things went wrong. I have watched Mike work too hard to get back to where he is now to have him put back in the same condition. Mike's comment yesterday was if God is ready for me to die then so be it but I don't want to die because of an idiot mistake!!! I TOTALLY AGREE! The doctor that did the surgery in January that has said Mike does not need anything invasive for at least a year to give his brain time to heal is on vacation. Hopefully, by Monday he will be back and can get in this picture. I don't believe he will agree with some of the talk about surgery. Mike and I are so complete with each other. We try to think if there is anything we haven't said that we would wish we had if something happens and he has to leave me. But we are silent. All we feel is love and contentment that we found each other. But December is going to be our 15th wedding anniversary and I have been planning a Huge Party. An open house/xmas/anniversary party to renew our vows. We are going to have it at our new home on the lake and actually have it catered! (instead of me doing all the work like I usually do!ha) I refuse to let these doctors take this away from us! We are tired of promises to fix things and ready to buck the system if we have to. Mike has a 25% occlusion according to a july 1 MRI. Doc says if it is up to 50% THEN ALL DOCTORS WILL HAVE TO PUT THEIR HEADS TOGETHER AND DECIDE WHAT TO DO. My family & Mike and myself feel it may have to be a whole lot higher than 50% for us to agree to another surgery and risk putting him back like he was or worse. I am trying to hold it together but somethings I feel like losing it and just throwing things around including some of the doctors! Keep us in your prayers,,,,,,,,,,,

FINALLY I THINK I HAVE SMILED FOR THE 1ST TIME THIS YEAR. MY MIDDLE SON AND HIS WIFE HAVE BEEN MARRIED 5 YEARS AND JUST FOUND OUT THEY ARE EXPECTING A BABY GIRL IN OCTOBER! YEP, THAT'S RIGHT A DOCTOR MISDIAGNOSED HER IN FEBRUARY AND SHE IS 5 1/2 MONTHS! MIKE AND I ARE ECSTATIC!! :happydance: JUST HAD TO SHARE THE NEWS! SOMETIMES WE ALL NEED GOOD NEWS AND SOMETIMES IT COMES SO SELDOM!

I am so sorry for what you are going through, it makes my problems seem minor. I am a caregiver and trying to work so I know exactly what you are feeling. It is very hard to separate your feelings from home to not thinking about it at work so you can function properly. I am finding that difficult too and sometimes i think i just need to go somewhere and scream and hit things until i feel better!ha hang in there and know that people are praying for you and sending you their strength! fairlakelady1

We have spent 2 days going to doctors and I am so tired of them and their attitudes. I wish I had more nerves to call their game and tell them what I think. We went yesterday to a neurologist-opthamologists and he kinda looked at us like we were country bumpkins and no need to explain anything to us. He put Mike through a battery of tests. Never bothered to speak to me even when I had to answer the questions for Mike. Then he tells us that Mike has lost half of his lower quandrant vision. I saw the test and the areas that showed the results. Then he tells Mike that next year he can just go to his own optometrist unless he just wants to come back up there! I said wait a minute you mean you are not going to do anything to help him? He just waved his hand as if discarding us and said oh it is quite common with strokes to have this happen, and there is nothing to do. I asked about prisms or something. Well, he says, his is not bad enough for that. I said, so he is supposed to just sit on the couch and try to see the tv and walk around dizzy? Oh well, the dizziness is not the eyes it is the brain. I was so angry I wanted to jerk that little wad of gray hair off his head and say look, THis is a real person, YOU don't know him, nor what he has been through and he deserves a lot more respect and compassion than you have given him! But instead i was ready to burst into tears and just walk out. I spent most of the day trying to get in touch with another doctor to get a refill on his high blood pressure medicine. (which keeps him from having another stroke. and couldn't get her) Finally had to beg another doctor to give him a months worth. Yesterday was my birthday and I hate to think the rest of the year will be like yesterday. Spent it crying. :happybday: Why does life have to be soooo hard?? Why can't one thing, just one thing be easy>>>>>I am so tired.

Thanks for all of the comments. I have made him an appointment for june 24th with a neuro-optha....so hopefully we will find out what's going on. He is soooooooooo excited about it every day he asks when we are going. I know that has to be miserable.

:bouncing_off_wall: :bouncing_off_wall: My husband, Mike has had vision problems since his stroke in january. All of the doctors and speech therapists know exactly what the problem is but no one gives us the answer what to do. He says it is driving him nuts! Everybody says time should take care of it but so far it hasn't. It is like if he is watching tv and all of a sudden the right side of the screen drops. Then it will line back up again. but he can't really focus with them together. Has anyone else out there had problems with this? He feels like if his vision was okay he might could accomplish more things. Thanks for your input!

When i joined this network the other night i was feeling like "LIFE REALLY SUCKS!" After reading some of the other caregivers stories and the survivors I realize that my life may just be better than i thought it was. I really began to feel guilty that I complained in my entry. My husband is a lot better off than a lot of others and I should just be thankful for where we are in our lives and enjoy it. It's just hard to hold your head up all of the time. I guess i just needed a small pity party. Thanks for listening.