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  1. I grew up in a beach town in New York city,only blocks from the ocean.It was the summer spot for many New yorkers, and my parents chose to make it their year round home. Rockaway was great for an active kid, who rode his trike and later a bike n the 8 mile long boardwalk by the sea.Unfortunately bad Governing turned the peninsula into a refuge for low income housing dwellers and for the mentally Ill in half way houses,which scared off residents to leave for greener pastures. I left for college 12 hours away, paid tuition with steady work in a number of bands as a guitar player and singer.Went onto a teaching career which I abandoned to try my luck as a song writer and guitarist in Nashville.I set year long goals for a 5 year period.I met all my goals in two years.So I stayed and got in a group that toured Nationwide as a remake of the Vogues vocal group.We were seen in a Nashville night club by a producer and his crew who offered us a contract yo record an album,but in Country music style, which our tight harmonies leaned into well. Amazingly our first song release went to #9 on the "charts: and we were off and run,ning literally aboard a bus for the next 5 years.The touring was one of my goals, to see the country and let my guitar pay the way, but I also got paid well to do it, so it was a bonus.This began in 1982 and lasted until 1987 when things went wrong due to changes ar our Record Label,MCA. I returned home to Atlanta and married my girlfriend, attempting to carve out a career to support a family.I returned to my education career and was able to get a job teaching elementary school special needs children.This lasted long enough, 20 years...so I could retire.Then this :Sorry about the caps, typing is stressful; ON ASemmingly Normal DAY SINCE RETIRING FROM MY EDUCATION CAREER, I WOKE AT 5am WHEN MY WIFE ROSE TO BEGIN HER WORKDAY. I go TO THE KITCHEN,to GET AN ESPRESSO AND OPEN my LAPTOP TO SEE WHAT MAY HAVE HAPPENED IN THE WORLD OVERNIGHT.THEN, ITS OFF TO THE GYM ABOUT 8AM AFTER THE SCHOOL TRAFFIC IS DONE. I SPEND AN HOUR THERE,THEN HOME FOR BREAKFAST But on this day, AUG 28 2017,WHILE ON THE VERY BUSY 2 LANE ROAD HEADING HOME, I FELT MY TRUCK PULL HARD LEFT TOWARDS ONCOMING TRAFFIC, I WAS NOT SURE WHAT WAS HAPPENENING TO THE TRUCK,SO I SLOWED TO 30MPH, THEN I REALIZED IT WAS MY LEFT ARM PULLING THE WHEEL OVER TO THE LEFT I pulled the fingers from around the STEERING wheel AND DROVE WITH MY RIGHT HAND UNTIL I GOT HOME,THEN IN THE DRIVEWAY I OPENED MY DOOR WITH MY RIGHT HAND AND STEPPED OUT ONTO A LEFT LEG THAT DID NOT HOLD ME, FELL HARD ONTO THE CONCRETE DRIVE. AND PANICKED MORE THAN A LITTLE I FORCED MYSELF OFF THE CONCRETE ONTO THE RUNNING BOARD AND TRIED TO CATCH MY BREATH, THEN WALKED INTO THE GARAGE AND TO THE HOUSE. I WENT TO THE SHOWER AND TOOK A WARM ONE TO RELAX. THEN I TOOK MY BLOOD PRESSURE TO SEE IF IT WAS HIGH,I FOUND THAT IT WAS 202 OVER 110. I TOOK 2 ASPIRIN ( SMARTbut late) AND CALLED A NEIGHBOR TO COME OVER, HE SAW ME, said I looked bad, and told me I To call 911. I ALSO TEXTED MY WIFE WHO SAID TO MAKE THAT CALL RIGHT AWAY!, SO OF COURSE,I DID NOW ,I WAS QUITE WORRIED, BECAUSE I HAD MADE IT TO 68 YEARS OLD HAVING NEVER BEEN HOSPITALIZED BEFORE, and knew it was coming. I TOLD MYSELF I WOULD TRY TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE new eXPERIENCE AND JUST to RELAX,and found THE EMT CREW so PROFESSIONAL THEY MADE ITeasier FOR ME.Then the EMERGENCY ROOM, WITH A BUSY GROUP IN BLUE SUITS ALL AROUND ME. , I KINDA FOUND IT HARD TO BREATHE, ANXIETY SET IN, AND THEY OFFERED ME OXYGEN AND A DRUG TO RELAX ME AND LOWER MY NOW 210/112 BP. I FELT WEIRD as the drug hit,AND WAS TOLD I WAS STROKING,, HAVING a TIA WHICH can COME IN waves . I HAD AGREED TO GET A ROUND OF TPA, THE CLOT BUSTING DRUG THAT PREVENTS MAJOR STROKES, WHICH CAN FOLLOW A TIA, SCARY BECAUSE IF I HAD ANY BLEEDING INTERNALLY, THE TPA COULD TURN 'EVIL" AND KILL ME. IT WORKEAND I WAS TAKEN TO GET A CT SCAN LOOKING FOR BLOOD AND CLOTS IN MY BRAIN,luckily NONE WERE FOUND AS REPORTED to THE NEUROLOGIST, SO I WAS IN THE CLEAR FOR AWHILE. PHEW! I THEN HAD MORE SCANS, including A FULL 45 MINUTE MRI, TALK ABOUT CLAUSTROPHOBIC! ALSO A CARDIAC SCAN AND NUCLEAR STRESS TEST, AS A GENETIC CANDIDATE FOR HEART DISEASE, I HAVE ALWAYS CARED FOR MY HEART, EXERCISING REGULARLY AND EATING HEALTHY. I ALSO Took SEVERAL HEART SUPPLEMENTS THAT ARE HELPFUL, SO ALL THE TESTS CAME BACK NEGATIVE FOR HEART DISEASE AND BLOCKAGES, OTHER THAN AN ELECTRICAL ISSUE, called a RIGHT BUNDLE BRANCH BLOCK WAS DISCOVERED, WHICH CAN CAUSE ATRIAL FIBRILLATION AND ULTIMATELY LEAD TO STROKE. I also had a full body MRI. I ultimately SPENT 3 NIGHTS IN EMERGENCY CARE THEN 5 MORE IN the ICU. I COULD HAVE BEEN RELEASED TO REHAB , BUT IT WAS THE FRIDAY BEFORE LABOR DAY WEEKEND AND THE REHAB CENTER WOULD NOT ADMIT A NEW PATIENT. SO I spent 3 MORE NIGHTS IN THE RECOVERY AREA OF ICU. FINALLY TUESDAY ARRIVED, AND I WAS TRANSFERRED TO IN- PATIENT REHAB, ON LEAVING THE HOSPITAL, I WAS STRUCK WITH HOW GREAT IT FELT TO BE OUTSIDE, IF EVEN IN AN AMBULANCE, THE REHAB CENTER WAS AnNOTHER NEW EXPERIENCE, A SMALL PRIVATE ROOM WITH very SMALL TV, a BED, LOUNGE CHAIR AND two ROLLING TABLES .THIS WAS TO BE MY HOME FOR 3 WEEKS. VERY DULL, EXCEPT FOR THE THERAPY SESSIONS WHEN MY WHEEL CHAIR WAS ROLLED INTO THE GYM, FOR TWO OR MORE HOURS OF LEG EXERCISES, AND LEARNING HOW YO USE A WALKER SAFELY. ONE DAY AFTER SEVERAL WEEKS I WAS INSTRUCTED TO TRANSFER TO A LOW MAT- TABLE , MY CHAIR WAS PLACED SEVERAL FEET AWAY, SO I STOOD AND WALKED,TO THE MAT. THIS WAS SUCCESSFUL BUT NOT VERY PRETTY. MY LEFT LEG WAS GAINING IN STRENGTH BUT NOT IN GOOD CONTROL, I REALIZED THOUGH THAT I HAD ACTUALLY WALKED AND WAS QUITE PROUD OF THAT ACTION. THE OT THERAPY CONCENTRATED ON MY LEFT ARM AND HAND USING VARIOUS TECHNIQUES INCLUDING E-STIM, ELECTRONIC MUSCLE STIMUATION, WHICH AMAZED ME TO SEE MY HAND AND FINGERS MOVE ANIMATEDLY. I ALSO HAD SPEECH THERAPY TO IMPROVE MY VOICE CONTROL, AND WE SPENT SOME TIME SINGING WHICH FOR ME WAS A MAJOR PART OF MY LIFE PRIOR TO ALL THIS. I KNEW THAT THE POSSIBILITY OF REGAINING MY GUITAR PLAYING ABILITY WAS REMOTE AND WELL INTO THE FUTURE OF ALL THIS. DEPRESSING, BUT MY REALITY NO DOUBT.SINCE A STROKE CAN MAKE YOU VERY EMOTIONAL QUICKLY, often I WOULD BE OVERCOME WITH CRYING JAGS WHEN I BECAME truly AWARE OF my new REALITY, AND this ONLY ABATED WITH A PRESCRIPTION ANTI -DEPRESSANT PRESCRIBED FOR ME. THE THREE WEEKS DRAGGED ON WITH PROGRESS BEING HARD WON, AND MANY HOURS SPENT IN MY BORING ROOM., ALONE THANKFULLY I HAD MY LAPTOP BROUGHT IN, AND FOUND THE STROKE SUPPORT ONLINE NETWORK, WHICH GAVE ME INSIGHTS INTO WHAT OTHERS HAD EXPERIENCED WITH their STROKE AND AFTERWARDS. I ALSO STARTED READING A BOOK ON RECOVERY FROM STROKE WHICH WAS VERY EDUCATIONAL. I SAW THE POTENTIAL AND MY OPTIMISM INCREASED GREATLY. I JOINED AND EAGERLY READ THE POSTS FROM OTHER SURVIVORS. I RECEIVED A NUMBER OF VISITORS at rehab INCLUDING A FEW OLD FRIENDS I HAD NOT SEEN IN QUITE SOME TIME. MY WIFE CAME EVERY DAY AFTER WORK , ROLLING ME OUT TO THE COURTYARD FOR SOME AIR AND SUNSHINE. I LOOKED FORWARD TO SEEING HER EACH DAY, AND SHE PREPARED TO BE MY HOME CAREGIVER SOON. I WORRIED ABOUT BURDENING HER, BUT SHE WOULD NOT HEAR ANY OF THAT, MY SONS BOTH CAME TOO AND ONE STAYED THREE DAYS, SLEEPING ON THE COUCH IN THE ROOM I HAD. HE IS STRONG YOUNG MAN AND VERY POSITIVE , SO HIS VISIT WAS GREAT FOR MY MOTIVATION. I RELISHED THE TIMES I HAD ACCESS TO A HOT SHOWER AS THEY WERE FEW, BUT IT WAS WONDERFUL.BEING CLEAN AND FELT GREAT AFTERWARDS. Then the special joy of going home where a friend had supplied us with a ramp over the stairs to the door, and several bathroom grab bars thankfully.
  2. I've recently gotten into bullet journaling - which has went into an art form, and I'm loving it. I started trying to bullet journal around the middle of Feb, and use a 2 pg daily spread, with everything on it. One of the many things I want to try to get back into is my stroke hubby's therapy, that we are not doing anything, on a regular basis, on (stroked 2012). I got this free print off from a bullet journal group, where the designer wanted to see what people would do with it. There were many things I could use if for, and I pondered it carefully. Then I thought if I used it for his therapies, he might get more excited about starting again. I will probably have to reprint it as I get better ideas on how to do it, but this is a learning experience. I like how it will be a visual for him, to see what he's actually doing. I just got it made and he just started a reading period, so the first day (Mar 11) shows he has started. After he read he told me (in aphasia talk!), "you have to make another picture, I'm playing solitaire now!" Game playing is important to his decision making skills and cognition, and I was very pleased that he initiated something on his own! So, I put another item on his list and marked it on the calendar - I think this is going to go over really WELL with him!
  3. Hi so I'm having a but of a problem I've asked around to get a general census . I have to cut back on my therapy because It costs to much. I have been going to therapy for about 4.5 years for one thing or another. This is for my visual therapy. My husbands insurance is very good but I see their point of its been almost 5 years and no change to diagnosis other then the use of prisms so each visit is $150. for therapy.. every week plus bus fare. I had to pay this before because when the union had Amerihealth, that wasn't taken by the doctor. When I was going up to New York it was $100 a visit plus expenses. ( BUT that was a lot of daddy/daughter days ) My doctor in New York City, sold me a computer program that was basically what I'm doing now.He could monitor from up there. My doctor now has a similar program but he cant remotely check in. I hate talking about money for I have read and felt the dissatisfaction from many people who either can't go due to money/insurance. I'm sorry to sound Pompous . I talked this over with my psychologist and I have to keep telling myself i'm not resigning to how things are .. But why do i feel so defeated? I should and am blessed and humbled by what recovery I have accomplished so far. Like many people on here know, we beat the odds. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
  4. Well, as many may know in my never ending search to find fun and interesting substitutes for my boring and tedious cognitive therapy I took up learning to play the Recorder. Normally it is used with Elementary school kids to get them interested in learning music. Well it has proved to be a very daunting task for me. I got a book for kids and it has taken me over three months to get to the point that kids get in a couple of weeks. BUT, yesterday was a milestone! I made it through the first several bars of Beethoven's Ode to Joy. If a person listens carefully, in a abstract sort of way, I'm sure that at least 2 out of 10 listeners would recognize it as Ode to Joy. I'm even more sure that at least half of all listeners would even recognize some notes and a hint of rhythm. On the serious side it is so cool to actually play something! It has been a long road getting hear but I've had fun and will continue on with my journey in music. As far as the cognitive value of my learning it has been far greater than I expected. To learn to read music, keep time, finger the Recorder etc. has taxed my cognition greater than 100 of the word search and 'follow the instructions' therapies my therapists give me. I still attempt some every day, but to work on the Recorder and then have tangible results is incredibly gratifying. In closing I would like to offer apologies to Ludwig. I promise to do better in time.
  5. I now can recognize the notes A, B, C, D, F and G on the musical staff and I know the fingerings and an alternate fingering for B. I've attempted to play ' When the Saints Go Marching In' with a small bit of success. I played it for Awesome Chick and when I was done I told her what it was. She quickly responded something like "Oh yeah it took me just a second but I knew what it was." She is such a kind person. Today was the day I learned F. This is the first note that will require me to finger with both hands. Previously all notes I've played have been done with just the left hand. I've noticed that repetition, repetition, repetition is the key to remembering my notes and fingering. I also find that if I practice two or three times per day for like 10 minutes it is more productive than one long 30 minute session. The biggest problem I face is that the "interface" between me, the music on the sheet and the fingers on the Recorder is VERY slow. Unfortunately that interface is my damaged brain. To see a note on the staff, recognize what that note is, remember what the fingering for that note is and get my fingers into position is a very very loooooong time. I am fortunate that I come from a VERY musically gifted family. Both of my parents have Bachelors Degrees in Music Theory and my Dad also has a Masters in Childhood Education. He was a teacher for 30 years. Several times I've been stuck on something and asking them gets me unstuck. One idea my dad had that was REALLY helpful was to start out by putting numbers for the number of fingers a note requires to be played below the note on the page. This helped me just concentrate on learning the fingering and I gradually started to recognize the notes and I could do away with the fingering hints. Well I'm off to go practice "my music". Jingle Bells is the next song I get to massacre. :violin: Information about Recorders
  6. This post is a follow up of my (click here earlier post). That post is dated yesterday but I posted it a couple weeks ago. Yesterday I realized it was posted as a draft though so I "undrafted" it. Anyway the first song I play on my recorder was to be 'When the Saints Go Marching In'. Well according to the music notes and my fingering that is exactly what I did. It sure didn't sound like any version of that song I have ever heard. YUK! Our two Beagles started baying like the Hounds of the Baskerville. I thought I was Basil Rathbone in the old movie. Oh well that's the point of trying to find something fun and interesting as well as theraputic. You don't mind going back to it as much when at first you don't succeed.
  7. OK, anybody who has read more than one of my posts knows that I can't stand the exercises that my cognitive therapists give me. I do them because they have a purpose but I look, and I look very hard for things that I can do that I enjoy and will provide a theraputic component. Well I found one that is GRRRRrrrrreat; as Tony the Tiger would say. I went to a music store not 10 minutes from my house and purchased a Yamaha Baroque Recorder. That sounds fancy but it's not. Anybody who has kids in elementary school that take band may be familiar with it. The thing only cost $10 and I got a book called 'Fun with the Recorder' to teach me to play it. When I got it I didn't realize just how it would affect me congnitively. I have to memorize notes, the musical staff, fingering etc. It has been VERY slow going. The book is for elementary school kids. What is 1 lesson for them may take me two weeks to get through. It is so cool though. I haven't played a "song" but I'm playing notes. The first song I should be able to play in the book is 'When the Saints Go Marching In'. Anyway for an investment of $17 for a musical instrument and book I have hours of productive cognitive therapy that is interesting, fun and I can do something with. I hope to be able to play some Christmas Carrols for Christmas and there are tons of classical pieces and Celtic pieces. I'll keep everyone posted but for now, if anyone can do it this is GREAT therapy.
  8. Today I started back at Cognitive Therapy. I haven't been for quite a while for various reasons. I like my therapist and I told her some of the things I've been doing on my own and she thought they were great. But, she gave me the same old basic word search, maps and other junk that I got before. She wants me to do this stuff and when I go back in two weeks she will hopefully have something more suited to me.
  9. I started a new round of cognitive therapy based upon the findings in my neurophychological testing a couple weeks ago. I really like this therapist. I had her before, she is really on the ball, professional and caring. I have not had any sessions with her since about January of this year and she has called a couple times to see how I'm doing. Also she seems to understand what I want from my therapy. I think the test results helped with this to. I want to develop tools that will allow me more independance and to be a more productive person. Like I said in another posting if I'm going to be home I want to help my wife more. The problem is that 15 minutes of housework can take me hours because I get so fragmented and confused in my thoughts. Today was day one back at therapy and she understood I need to change that and we are already working on some ideas. Tonight Awesome Chick (that is my wife for any new readers of my blog) and I worked on a structure for my days. It is hard to feel productive when at the end of the day you can't remember a single thing that you did.
  10. I only stroked about 4 months ago. I