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Showing results for tags 'Life after Stroke'.
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In God's big plan, why does he see that some survive strokes other do not. It is not just strokes. It's car accidents, heart attacks, Cancer, gunshots, In quiet times my thoughts wonder, why me? Could have just as easily been me that was in the thirty percent that does not survive. When I am at my worst, I scream in my head for an answer only he can answer. "Why did you not take me home then?" I know "When it is your time." is the answer. I guess I was not ready yet. I am grateful for a life being so blessed with love and Grace that words tend to escape me. So many times growing to where I am now, this life should have been done, but somehow I was held, grabbed, lifted, pushed, fell, or in some other way protected, whatever needed to be done. I cannot list the times I had protection when it was needed. I am not alone, but for those of us who recognize it, how do you come to grips with how much you are loved? Are we all blessed and only some realize they are blessed? I am overwhelmed by what some folks have overcome to get where they are today. I don't know where some people muster the gusto to go forward. I know we play the hands we are dealt. Sometimes it's way too easy, othertimes seems way too hard. That's life.
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I recently read a post, which I lost track of, from a woman in the last couple days mentioning her husband
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In the short time I have been a member of this site, I have come to depend on input from so many of you. I only started blogging so all the echos in my head had someplace to go. But now as I have recieved support, it has lifted me to want to give more of myself. I wish I could lift every survivor and caregiver up and give them a hug of healing. If I can just give one person hope, it's all I can ask. Seems like i feed off encouraging comments. Thank you all. Praying for Blessings all around. Boy, that was easy, just squirted right off the keys. Keep fighting the good fight don't you dare give up hope. Survivors did so for a reason. I am getting an idea of what it might be, at least for me. I must make sure I let folks know, I know I got off easy. I well up when I read of other's struggles regarding this monster, not just survivors, but also caregivers. Deep in my soul, I wish I could make it, life as it was pre-stroke for everyone. Unfortunately we all have to deal with the person who showed up post stroke. My best to all of you. Leppy
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Life has so many crazy curves it's a little like the , for those that remember, Wild Mouse roller coaster, not fast, but really threw you around. No sooner do we get adjusted to the way things are and along comes some wild jerky curve. Maybe we are all given some burden to carry, but I am trying to get a different slant on life and look at it as instead of burdens but opprotunities to do something to make life a little better. This blog rambles on in so many different directions, it's sometimes hard to follow and I'm writing it. I have always been one of those that knows we all have a dark scary place in our heads, but we do our best to steer away from it. Surviving a stroke, especially the really bad ones is a little like getting locked inside your own head. Even if you can still talk, you can't relate what you are feeling. That empty hollow feeling deep in your gut. The really tough part is being in there feeling like nobody knows what you are feeling, except another survivor. I think regardless of the scope of anyone's stroke, survivors all have an inkling what others here are feeling. This site has been most therapeutic for me. I have been touched so deeply by so many folks here. I would like to say I am not, but I am still angry I stroked, like I could have prevented it. I was blessed it was so light duty I thought I had no right to be angry knowing how much worse it could have been. Still strokes leave you an empty place that you cannot fill. It's there and you just have to get used to a new you. I pray every stroke victim becomes a survivor and finds there way here.I've come to realize the more I share my ideas of where I am now, the better I feel. I didn't have a support group until I came here. I spent over two years coping as best as I could alone. Even though my stroke was mild, so mild I did not want to confront that I even had one, it left scars in my soul. I can't imagine how tough it was or is for many of you folks. Yet you continue the good fight, and improve daily. Keep it up, I MEAN IT!!! DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE !!!!! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -My older daughter came up with nicknames for each member of her immediate family. I am Leppy, short for leprechaun, she is mini leppy, since she is a younger version of me. When she first started calling me that, I was not pleased, sounded, short bus, dim witted. It has grown on me and I find it kind of cute so I shall use it. That being said, Leppy out
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Being a stroke survivor has given me a different perspective on life than most other folks. I have often asked, "Lord, why spare me? Haven't you blessed me enough? God's Grace is impossible to understand. We as humans, get a glimpse of it when we look at our children, but never really understand it. I have spent countless hours angry I had a stroke, when I should have been grateful I was still alive and well as well as and for the insight it gave me into how blessed I have been. Throughout my life, I at times felt life had dealt me the impossible 2 card inside draw for a straight hand in a poker game, but so many times I actually drew those two cards. Grace, it's the only explanation I can give. So many times seems it should have fallen apart, but he was there to hold me up and push me on. I often forget we are to pray unceasingly, unselfishly, continuously, lovingly, for his will to be done. My faith teaches me, I will never be given more than I can handle and always be given more than I can possibly need. I am not alone in these feelings. Here, on this site, I have met some amazing people beset with what seem to me to be terrible crosses to bear, but yet they seem unfazed by it all, grateful to having survived. I am grateful for the unselfish love that has been shown me here, and will try to show it to others as time goes on. We must all pray for each other that our brothers and sisters are given what they need when they need it. May you be blessed with God's Grace now and always throughout your time on earth and beyond. For now I am off the :Soapbox:
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People that have survived strokes, wear the title "Stroke survivor" like a badge of courage, which they should. I sometimes feel like I am not deserving of the title stroke survivor. Though in February 2007 I had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) caused by a tiny blood clot breaking loose from the back of my heart, traveling through an artiel septal defect (an abnormal opening in the wall separating the left and right upper chambers (atria) of the heart) in my heart and up my carotid artery to my head and lodging itself there, fried part of my brain. When I read or hear of how severe other people's strokes were, I felt like mine was not worth mentioning. Well, thanks to some very supportive folks, I am here to say, I had a stroke, be it mild, it was none the less a stroke. After all, I had no paralysis, only limited speech problems, minimal logical thought process issues and I was able to get my doctor to release me to return to work only two months after the stroke. That being said, I did not want to believe I had a stroke. Just because I had not hemorrhaged in my head does not mean, part of my brain did not die. Returning to work so soon was a serious mistake. I dismissed the fatigue and depression I was dealing with. Trying to keep up my job caused me to suffer a Gran Mal seizure 9 months after the stroke. I was relieved of my duties and let go due to poor economic conditions and reduction in staff. At the time this was written, I am still unemployed and struggling financially. I try to keep the faith, knowing I have never been given more than I can handle and always been provided with more than I could ever need. I am grateful for many things in this life. Way up on the list is this site. In the short time since I joined, I have made some great friends. Thanks be to those that started it and all those that volunteer their time to keep it's wheels greased.
