jjohnson Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 :cocktail:Learn to Love Yourself AGAIN, AFTER YOUR STROKE "Quick, think of three things that are good about yourself. Remind yourself of these things all day today, at every given opportunity. Go ahead, give yourself some compliments (even though it may be hard at first). If you need prompting, chose three descriptions from this list that apply to you: sincere, prompt, truthful, caring, attentive, smart, good hair, beautiful blue (or brown or green) eyes, precise, diligent, great sense..." Then remind yourself, you are still the SAME person prestroke, after stroke, circumstances may have changed, however, you are still that same person. Your name hasn't changed, for example, My name prestroke was Jan and now almost five years later it is still Jan. I still have the capacity to love others, I am still a caring person, yes, I have deficits but I try to live my life one day at a time. Do I get sad for the ole "Jan" sure I do, I would not be telling the truth if I said NO. Do I grieve for the old me? Sure I do and there is no time limit for the grieving of the old me. But, as time goes on, the grieving doesn't consume so much of my day nor time. I am my worst judge, I am the judge and jury of Jan. I need to be kinder to myself and learn to start to love her again, be kind to her. It's not being a selfish person to try that ..... I would like to hear other's thoughts on this that I have shared. Thanks. GOD BLESS Hugs n Love, Jan BELIEVE IN MIRACLES AND SOAR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kanderson Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 jan, great post and so very true. i am the worst when it comes to beating myself up at times. i think i am the same person inside but others in my life think otherwise i guess. i have overcome so many things in my life. my stroke is just another obstacle to get over. but sometimes climbing over them seems tougher each time! how do we keep going when you are so tired? thankyou for your post, it made me step back and look again at myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstraugh Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Jan, you are so very very wise and speak the truth. I try and try to continue to love myself as God loves me. He gave me another chance at life and for that I am forever grateful. I do continue to struggle to overcome deficits so that I can continue to enjoy my remaining time and I ask all the time for his guidance. Faith and attitude will carry us far as well as close loved ones here on earth continuing to support and encourage us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merichsen Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 I think I preached this one already, but too bad you're going to hear it again. Many times we are quick to say negative things about ourselves, e.g. I'm stupid, I never blah blah blah. You wouldn't say things like that to other people especially those you value because you know they wouldn't tolerate it and probably would no longer bother with you if you did. People would not like you if you spoke to them that way. How then can you expect to like yourself if you speak to yourself or of yourself in such terms? Always be as kind and considerate of yourself as you are to those who you value because you should value yourself as much if not more. Would you let other people speak to you that way? how dare you let yourself get away with it. That's my soapbox sermon for the day, as I said I think you've heard it before and no I'm not redundant and stupid...I'm just determined to help you guys feel better after stroke has ripped off so much of your self esteem, as is Jan. Thank you for the topic Jan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristen Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Thank you :D Jan I needed to hear your wisdom today, I do struggle with losing the ole Kris, but I also find solace in the fact that even tho the ole Kris has gone, the new Kris has the choice to be a stronger and better person, I can now be whoever I wish to be I keep fighting the good fight, I believe I have what it takes to get through this challenge, so much more so since finding this site Kris Cheerio for now Wishing everyone a Sunshiny day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HostAsha Posted September 29, 2008 Share Posted September 29, 2008 Jan: your post is so wise and true & I love Maria's comment on it. I still need to accept me the way I am. I am not stuck on post stroke person but I get stuck on I m not better mom or wife, which is not true at all. I am the best mm & wife my son & hubby got. Asha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aclarke Posted September 30, 2008 Share Posted September 30, 2008 Hi Jan, Your writes my song!!!!! Love, Annmarie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwaltke Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 Thanks Jan. I needed that today puts into words what Id like to say and hear both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrell Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Hi Jan ~ Just what the doc ordered , thank you for reminding me of that. I was in tears last night. I'm not the same Mom, but when it comes to me, I can appreciate what God has given me...LIFE...I have struggle after struggle w/ one daughter still @ home. She calls me retarded, stupid, makes fun of the way I talk. I haven't learned how to react to that. When I'm thinking straight I just walk away. She doesn't do it W/ hubby home & when I tell him she lies. He gets tired of the fighting & I understand. Thank You Jan again. Today's a new day :happydance: I walk on with what God's givn back & take what comes my way with a happy heart. Last night God gave me the words the Battle is His. So I'll let Him fight for me. It's a process learning to love myself...How can I not be grateful, I can walk, talk, eat & drive, Smile, Be kind to others & love life with His greatfullness! I'm alive! Thank God! Take care all & live each day as it were your last. I am thankful to be a wife & Mother! I am thankful for this support system...We are warriors :hug: ...Love You All ~ Nancy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fking Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Jan, I enjoyed your post. I could pick three things quickly but I thought of this little saying I used to get myself together after my brain bleed stroke almost five years ago, Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands or in my case with one hand. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. I'm still the same person pre-stroke (in my mind) even though things changed. JUST MY THOUGHTS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Three things....hhhmmmmm?..three things...three, three, three :uhm: hmmmmmm? I got it! I'm still hot, sexy and beautiful!...yeah, that's it, that's it...LOL! :roflmao: Is that what you mean Jan?...lol! nah! I'm just kidding. As you can see, trying to still be funny is one of my three, another is laughing (makes me feel good)only three Jan? that's too hard..I got a whole list.. :cloud9: I'm still thoughtful of others I feel, determined and open minded and SASSY (I'm using a nice word..lol!) Okay, I'll stop now..good topic Jan :big_grin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdube Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Jan, good topic, we do need to be reminded, Thanks also for all the inspiring replies, Now I know why I came to StrokeNet. Marie-Claire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louis Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 Thank you Jan. I really needed your insight into what is really important. I get feeling sorry for myself and it is counter-productive.I am just arriving at the reality that I may not be able to return to work again. Any normal person would not even try at my age. I need to thank the LORD that I am still able to sit here and type.My disability will leave us financially strained but we will survive. The hardest thing is seeing my wife go to work every day and my not being able to go myself. http://www.strokeboard.net/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllanWilliams Posted November 9, 2008 Share Posted November 9, 2008 Thank you Jan Your insight means a lot to me (You have inspired me when I needed it the most ) Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Hermite Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 Hey Jan.... Good words.... I think we all go thru mental gyrations when an event such as this happens...We have to re-evaluate our existences and our part in that existence....You more or less had it all scoped out before... It can be approached as a great, new exploration....If for no other reason that you find out about people around you....and yourself..... As a survivor....you really s/b happy about things....the essence of you just has to negotiate a new landscape.... 'Course the big thing is figuring out that essence of you... Stuff will get you down, but stuff did that sometimes BS (before stroke)....Paradigms have shifted....the interesting thing is figuring out the new paradigms, and how you'll deal with those that are limiting... And then...there are new paths to take... Oh, heck...now ya got me waxing philosophical....<G>..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Hermite Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 Hi Again..... Now, if onlt I could get the new Chat to work fer me..... *Sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdube Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 Thank you Jan. Of course we all know that but it helps a lot to be reminded. We do forget to be kind to ourselves. Thank you for the reminder. Take care Marie-Claire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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