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Before i had my stroke ,I saw the world around me full of people with DIABILITIES, blind,MS, deaf. Of course Im partially deaf myself ,wear a hearing aid . But my attitude towards these special people was very humble occasionally I use to help a blind person cross the road. I did feel sorry for them but did I enough?Maybe Ijust accepted life as it is. Until the day I had my stroke my attitude differed seeing the bigger picture about being disabled or a survivor that Ihave cared & listened more about other peoples situations & yes shed atear sometimes in certain cases. So i must admit it has changed my personality apart from getting grumpy about my condition, this site also has helped me change as well ,to help each other if I can. Has this changed you? :huh:

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Hi Phill

I learned a long time ago to be compassionate to wards others and it was not a disabled person that taught me, i was working on an island resort and i noticed this employee and thought to my self what a scruffy looking fellow then that evening during a storm, rain coming down in bucket fulls this scruffy looking staff member knocked on my door and said Welcome to the island i have bought some books for you to read, as it is raining so heavy you can't go out and shook my hand and left. That taught me to be compassionate to all no matter if disabled or not. But after my stroke i found out what it meant to be humble i learned that here on strokenet, one only has to read some of the posts blogs etc to learn that, and admitting that if you need help ask for it.

To be compassionate and humble is a new way of life that i have learned here on StokeNet.

 

Allan

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Addressing personality change

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Hi Phill

I learned a long time ago to be compassionate to wards others and it was not a disabled person that taught me, i was working on an island resort and i noticed this employee and thought to my self what a scruffy looking fellow then that evening during a storm, rain coming down in bucket fulls this scruffy looking staff member knocked on my door and said Welcome to the island i have bought some books for you to read, as it is raining so heavy you can't go out and shook my hand and left. That taught me to be compassionate to all no matter if disabled or not. But after my stroke i found out what it meant to be humble i learned that here on strokenet, one only has to read some of the posts blogs etc to learn that, and admitting that if you need help ask for it.

To be compassionate and humble is a new way of life that i have learned here on StokeNet.

 

Allan

Well said Allan and Wesley

 

mc

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I have learned that I may THINK I am in control of my life in reallity I am not in control of any thing but my reactions to Life.

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Hi Folks.....

 

Yeah...Wesley and Allan.....Well said....

 

It's like you get an extra dimension, in regards to what people are about, that gets opened up to you....

 

I think it's because I have this new set of physical limitations to grapple with, and people have helped me, I appreciate the concept of helping out a lot more.......

 

An example...I'll be at the local mega-mart, and every so often I come across a little old lady, eyeing a two liter bottle of Coke, or Pepsi, or whatever...Of course its on a tilted shelf rack at the top....And there's just no way she's gonna get at it....

 

In tha past, I've offered and helped of course....But I *know* what that kind of frustration is like now....and what a godsend it is for someone to help....

 

It adds a dimension to yer act ot kindness, and makes it compelling to do more....

 

Hoping some of that made sense.....

 

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Phil,

You say you felt sorry for them, but did you enough? That's called pity. The difference now is that you no longer feel pity, you are empathetic and that's a world away. You really hit the nail on the head with this post. The site was build on the empathetic need for support of one another as stroke survivors, not to pity and enable. We don't offer support to fellow survivors out of pity but rather because we feel enough of their plight to want to help them. I don't think it really changes your personality, but absolutely your perspective. We certainly have a heightened awareness of everything in life and are more sensitive to the needs and feelings of others which seems to change our behavior .

I was taught and tried to teach my kids before you speak or act to think of how it would feel if it were you. That's a tough concept to get and a lesson that some of us had to learn the hard way. Teaching us compassion, empathy, and softening us a bit is probably one if not the only up side of stroke.

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Maria

Well written.

 

Stessie

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My wife says I'm alot easier to get along with, I used to be go-go-go all the time. I now take the time to appreciate things like someone filling my coffee cup without asking, or appreciating the little things my son and wife do for me (even though I could do them myself). Our lives used to be very busy and we lived what we thought was life, if only I knew then what I know now. I now don't need many material things. We used to hoard/accquire ;) and still have about twenty boxes still unpacked in storage, I figure that if you haven't used it in over a year you have no need for it and should be recycled to someone who can (that wasn't me two and a half years ago).

 

We needed to stop and smell the flowers, and appreciate what we have now.

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Prior to my life changing on 1-1-05 via stroke, I worked as a helping professional in the social services field. I even have been a volunteer EMT/Paramedic in years gone by. For me, being able to help others, as I volunteer here at Stroke Network, has been rewarding and has let me continue my love of helping others.

 

Thankfully, stroke did not affect that part of my personality of being a "people" person. I count that as part of my blessings post stroke.

 

We're all on this cruise ship together, by being here for one another we keep each other afloat and throw out life preservers to those in need.

 

Maria, your post was "right on" dear.

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Guest Pjoy

Even though I have not had a stroke, I feel compelled to make a post here...

I was a caregiver to my husband and a nurse for 25 years and always knew life was fragile and too short. I myself have suffered some health problems in the last few years and if I ever think about feeling sorry for myself all I have to do is come here and see all you wonderful people who have the courage and willpower to fight everyday to get better or to accept what you have and be grateful for it. I stayed after my husband died hoping to give some small measure of comfort here to those who might need it but in fact it is all of you who have given comfort to me. Thank you all. Good does come from tragedy if we just open our eyes and look for it. God Bless you all...........Joy

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I now look at helping others with stroke as getting them thru the various stages of grief since I made it out the other side. I may not be happy yet but doing it makes me feel a little better.

Dean

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Being optimistic was natural for me before the strokes on June 07. I try to be positive as much as possible now because the strokes affected areas in my brain that control my emotions and memory. My wife and kids help to keep me in check with the medications I take for controlling my emotions.

A dramatic change in controlling my moods and not being able to remember even things that have happened 15 minutes ago changed my personality since I had the strokes. But it is kind of funny when I will think, for instance that it is Friday when it is Monday. Maybe not a bad personality change but just different.

Jerry

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Wesley H , I love your sense of humor. Your comment to go out and smell the air instead of the dog poop is priceless. Humor s one of the best things us stroke survivors have going for us.

 

Yes our personalities all change when we suffer a stroke. My wife tells me I have become much more considerate and appreciative, and not as ornery. And yes it feels very good to know we have a second chance at life.

 

We need to use that second life to help others.

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I feel the only True disability in life is a bad attitude. With that being said, I feel my personality has changed since my Brain Stem Stroke, 11/03 and my two TIA's back to back, 06/07. I have always been a person who loved to help others, I had done volunteer work since 1971. Not being able to drive and losing my independance has been the worst loss .... I hate being stuck in my house. I miss not getting out and seeing others. I am such a people person. I try to stay positive and look at the bigger picture. I get sad and I cry a lot more now. I am more sensitive. It has been a tough journey .... I know it has been a big change. I just keep my faith in God and know he saved me for a purpose. I accept challenges and I refuse to give in to the Beast, Stroke. I will keep going into this fight/battle and I will continue to Believe In Miracles And SOAR

The thing I like about our group is that we share the truth of our stories with one another, we know we can come here and be honest. We have all been there, done that and we are all just trying to survive. Good topic.

I've had a rough couple of days and maybe I would answer this in a different "tune" if everything was hunky dorie. Gosh, I've never typed that word before. hehe It's a "Jan" stroke special. Oh well,. what the heck.

Enjoy, Life is too special not to make it a priority.

Hugs, Jan

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Guest electric Heart

I think I've always been sensitive to other people disabled or not pre and post stroke. In myself though, I have become intolerant of my deficits. I'm very hard on me.

Ally

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Hi Phil,

I think that having had a stoke can't help us to see, and relate to other people with disabilities - regardless of what they might be. I know that my time in a wheelchair gave me a better understanding of what that was/is like.

 

Susan :Typing:

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