redsonya Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I wanted to take an associate to lunch as a thank you today. I told her that she could pick the restaurant. I just googled it and it is a buffet place. :yikes: I can't do a buffet because I have to use my cane to balance and even then my balance in a public place with people all around is horrible. I told her I do better at home but I think she didn't want to trouble me. Should I call and say I can't do that place, is it rude to ask someone I haven't seen in a few years to get my food for me? Just going to a restaurant by myself is a stretch for me. I balance with my eyes so all the commotion throws me off something terrible. I have fallen into a walls and people in a crowd several times. I haven't fallen to the ground yet but grabbing a total stranger and hanging on for dear life is quite embarrasing. I'm really afraid of falling in public and I am remembering now why my social life has dwindled:p I should have sent her a gift card :out_of_here: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myhome Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Redsonya, Go, enjoy yourself, reconnect with her. I'd give the place a call and see if they have people to help getting your food, I'm sure they do. Worst case, invite a friend along with you that knows your limitations, tell them the problem and that you're buying You can't help what others think, if you want to reconnect with this person you need to venture into uncertain territory so to speak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsonya Posted January 14, 2009 Author Share Posted January 14, 2009 That is really good advice. Thank you. I think I will try to bring someone I know a little better with me. Thanks for the encouragement. :You-Rock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myhome Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 That is really good advice. Thank you. I think I will try to bring someone I know a little better with me. Thanks for the encouragement. :You-Rock: Glad I could help I just realized that you like comics, it's the name you chose I'm a Conan fan myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lwisman Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I solved this issue by using my rollator with tray. It not only helps me keep my balance (especially around other people) but the tray means I can place my selections on it and not have to try to carry anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwaltke Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 I recently attended an event that had a Buffet I asked one of those stcking the food if they might assist me. I am quite certain I could not have managed on my own. I think there would be nothing unusual at all in asking for assistance From your associate or the Buffet staff. Things are what they are. There is no reason to feel the slightest discomfort in this situation. This is only my Humble Opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstraugh Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Hi Lisa, When I was "new" to stroke recovery and doing tasks one handed, I was quite hesitant to go anywhere w/o my teen daughter by my side. I never wanted to "impose" on anyone asking for help. This past Christmas I attended a function that was set up buffet style. My daughter was not with me at the beginning of the evening as she was working. To my surprise, I had people practically pushing each other out of the way so they could assist me. I say go for it, step outside of your comfort zone - it will offer you added confidence with social interactions. Please let us know what you decide as well as how the outing went. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdube Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Hi Sonya. welcome to StrokeNet, What Donna stated I can attest to. I am a 24 year survivor and have gone to many buffet style functions and I was alone but I always had someone that offered to help. I never had to ask. I would get up and move to the buffet tables and I would set my plate down beside the platter I would be serving myself from and before I had finished getting the first item, someone would ask if I needed or wanted help. I never stopped myself from going or doing anything/anywhere and not even once was I stuck without help when I needed it. I suggest you not worry as worry is a downpayment on a debt you might not owe. Just go and enjoy your lunch and have fun. mc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsonya Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 Thank you so much for all your help. I did go and I had a wonderful time. The friend I called said she had been there before and you could order something from the menu you didn't have to use the buffet. She said I could do it so I tried and I was really nervous but I had a wonderful time. When I got there I did explain to my associate and she offered to help me if I needed it. So you all were right. I don't know why I have such a hard time asking for help. You all help me muster up the courage. Thanks again. PS Stu my hubby is the big Conan fan. I have red hair so that is his nickname for me. I have adopted it again as my stroke survivor superhero name thinking maybe it it will give me courage:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwaltke Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 The first thing I did was rid my vocabulary of the word cant. I may not always succed but I always give it the best try I can muster. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bstockman Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I am Happy you had a good time Yes sometimes we worry about things or imposing on someone.. People are usually quite helpful and we can get outside our comfort zone, gives us courage.. you go girl Bonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dstraugh Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Yipee!!! Glad all went well for you. The next time will be even easier I'm sure. When my daughter was a little squirt "can't" was not permitted in the vocabulary. Post stroke, she adopted the same philosophy with me and it has worked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stessie Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I am so happy you went and, more importantly, that you had a wonderful time. Socializing is great for stroke survivors and caregivers. It allows us to forget about stroke for a period of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllanWilliams Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Hi Really happy for you one that you went and two that you enjoyed yourself, I'm in a wheelchair and for the first six months did not go any were but now you cant stop me. I was a chef by trade and later a food and beverage manager, all resorts and food outlets the staff are taught how to help anybody whether disabled or not it is part of there job, so never be intimidated about going any were enjoy life to the fullest. It is a whole new life out there go and enjoy Allan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Hermite Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Hi Sonya..... About a month out of my stroke found myself in a place that does "mongolian barbecue" which was buffet fill you're plate and then they grill it for you using "swords"..... I didn't think of the logistics (Cane, bad hand) till we got there... So..I wobbled up w/o cane got plate filled&grilled with help of the friend.... I've found that basicly, in spots like that you have to get over your reluctance to ask... Or.....if you foresee a a difficult situation somthing like...."OK.....but you'll have to help me with my juggling act...<G>..!" Folks often, strange as it may seem, want to "share" in your disability, and help, because they're friends...That may seem like a strange statement at first...but think about it.... BTW....the food was great, and we had a great time..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdube Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Hi Sonya, I am so glad that you went regardless of your reservations. Also I"m glad you had a good time. Next time will be much easier for you to decide. You have heard that we make our own fun, so if you refuse to go anywhere because of something that might happen, its going to be a long life of no fun or enjoyment for you. What happened to you is not your fault so keep your head high and never stop yourself from doing anything you want to do. Thank you for sharing your success with us. Take care mc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Montana Survivor Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 Redsonya, I too have problems with buffets. Heres what I do. I always make sure there is someone with me who understands my problems to help me. When my wife is along I stay at our table and she gets my food. I walk with a cane in my left hand, and for all intents and purposews my right hand is almost useless. It is surprising how helpful people will be when they realize you have problems. Most of the buffets we attend have employees that graciously offer to assist me. too. I do go to some on my own now. Yes it's a bit scary but, one doesn't get better by not trying things. Also, explain to your friend, that you are treating, that special assistance may be needed by you. Im sure she/or he will graciously assist you. Venture into the unknown and scary world. It will help make you a stronger, more assured person. It will also help make your life a richer experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjohnson Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 :friends:Dear Redsonya: I am so happy you went and had a wonderful visit with your friend and had a nice meal. When I go out, I have someone bring me in first, since I am in a wheelchair, and then when the hostess says how many, I smile and say we have a party of (number) and I say, I'm BYOS.... "Bring my own seat" or something to that line and it brings a smile on their face. Has always worked. I like to sit near the restrooms as the places get busy and then it is hard to get to the restroom. I go out and make sure someone is there to help if it is a buffet, or the person who brought me will let me see what is there and then take me to the table and then she will bring me my tray first and then get hers. Things seem to work out fairly well. Problem when we go to certain stores is they are all cluttered, boxes everywhere and can't get through with my wheelchair, I have spoken to the Managers several times and they never change. We have stopped going to those stores. I have tried to use the scooters at the various stores so I can leave the wheelchair in the car, but half the time the scooters are not charged. Again, I have spoken to the Managers, they don't seem to get it.... They will get it should they ever be in my situation. Usually, the person with me will check the scooters before she parks to make sure they are charged. I've gotten stranded in the middle of the store numerous times because I broke down and no one would help me. Keep up your going out and don't be afraid to ask for assistance. Don't feel bad, people are most happy to help. Always give them that smile and it is received. And a sincere thank you. I've called those places ahead of time when it is a large group of people to make sure everything runs like clockwork. They are more than happy to assist my request. Take care, God Bless, ENJOY Believe In Miracles And SOAR Hugs, Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.