Vitamin and supplement withdrawal


RickFreyer

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Rick,

It doesn't sound as though things are improving and there is intense anger on both sides. Have you spoken with your local clergy or perhaps a counselor? I know your hours are filled but not being able to sleep is not good for you personally.

 

Others may have input that will help. I feel for you, friend.

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Rick, I have stayed out of this thread because I couldn't help with your original inquiry about diets and supplements. But I do know about caregiver burnout. I have been caring for my husband full-time for ten years through five strokes so have been there, done that.

 

I agree with the others that you are BOTH suffering from anger issues and so there needs to be counselling at least for you. Mate, when your partner strokes your life disappears too. You can go to work, ride a hundred miles,whatever, the problem is still sitting there at home waiting on you. So you have to start thinking about life in a different way.

 

Start a blog, if you want to keep it in draft form you can and just add to it week by week. This is not to plot your wife's changes but YOURS. How have I handled something differently, did it work? When I read what * sheila* wrote this week and tried it out, how did that work with Sondra? Ever so slowly you will see changes in you. Because we only have the power to change ourselves and our attitude not the attitude of others.

 

So your relationship has changed, you are working more, worrying more, how can you change that? If you can, think of this as a challenge. So you do the best you can with it. You are training for a marathon, not a sprint. I have done this for ten years and it gets better and sometimes it gets worse, ride the roller coaster with us.

 

Your step-children are by the sound of things "KIDS" still. No care, no responsibility. They eat, they sleep, they leave. Cut off the food, throw out the easy chairs. Silly to say it like that but you know what I mean. Tell them you need to talk about what they are intending to do for you and for their mom. Point out it is not up to you to be doing it all. Tell them that when they come visit next you are going for a walk, a jog, a drive, whatever. That way they will be alone with their mom and may actually take a realistic look at her care needs.

 

(1)Get some help..(2).get some help...(3) get some help. Help comes in many forms, food cooked elsewhere and delivered, someone to do the housework, someone to do the laundry. If friends volunteer to help ask them to weed the garden, take out the garbage, fold the laundry, small practical tasks so you don't have to do it. One thing that helps with caregiver stress and burnout is (4) get some help.

 

Go easy on yourself. Stop looking for reasons and look for solutions. Stroke happened. It does to so many millions of people world-wide. Stroke happens for a lot of reasons. Once it happens we deal with it. But we are all fallible human beings. If you were sitting with me at the table now and talking over a coffee all I could say is: "I know, mate, I know, and I feel for you." And that is the truth, I feel you pain because it is my pain too. And the pain of all the caregivers and all the survivors too. Because stroke happened in our lives as well.

 

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

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Thank you all for your well wishes. I will strive to write down on a daily basis my responses to Sondra's requests and demands. As I have said my time right now is really booked solid but I will attempt to find an outlet. We are not financially set so I am kinda stuck with the cooking and housework and yard work regular work etc, as well as the caregiver and home therapy needs for Sondra. As far as counseling I can not afford it even if it were free my time would not allow me to sit down and share, and I have never been open to just talking to someone. We are not close to our neighbors both physically and neighborly and her children I am sure look at me as the man who broke up their family even though her first husband was verbally abusive of her. I will look for answers where ever I can and will pursue any avenues of help

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  • 3 months later...

Hi all : :hiya:

I know it has been quite a while since I posted any news and I apologize :oops: My time is still packed with everyday chores, and work, therapy for my wife. My physical health has deteriorated I have lost 43 lb. in the last 4 months no sleep I have constant insomnia brain won't shut off :dribble: I start things get interrupted and forget to finish what ever it is I started :Doh: :Ask: Still not much forward movement from my wife on recovery I feel she thinks this thing will "go away" like a cold or the flu and that time will heal her paralysis :nuhuh: I have stopped fighting with her and have generally taken a stand by role and hope the reality will dawn on her that she needs to take responsibility for her recovery...I still support her, protect her when she has to move so she won't fall and have tried to encourage her along but I have less and less enthusiasm for this everyday

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Rick, I am so sorry. This is so hard. Bruce is going through a transition(that's what I call them). He is 11 months post and does very little without prompt. In all fairness, he does 100% of what is asked of him but initiates almost nothing. For your own sanity a couple of tips. Mine was sitting on the dining room floor so I could see his feet and therefore knew what he was up to, but he couldn't see me. Write everything down, keep notepads everywhere and sort everything out well before bedtime. Nothing gets crossed out until it is finished. This will also help you prioritize. Just getting to know routines, all the finances, house stuff, shopping, supplies, equipment etc in the first six months is impossible. Mine has finally calmed - only have four issues for tomorrow but can put all but one off if I need to, so you will get organized. When you cook, make three meals. By the end of the week you will be set for at least another week or so.Limit her liquid intake after 4 pm and nothing two hours before bedtime. Sips only with meds.Try music. We discussed this recently. Music is interpretted in a different part of the brain than speech. Without spending a dime: load up CD player or tape player or just turn on the radio to a station she likes. Also try PBS - all their programming is interesting and stimulating.Prep am stuff before bedtime, set up all personal stuff she needs first thing in morning, clean towels. I actually laid out his clothing and had breakfast ready for the microwave and I don't have to work. If necessary put note on your meals that this is "For Sondra", if this is too subtle for her children, store everything in the garage in a cooler. Ask her to keep a daily journal while you are at work then discuss over dinner. The conversation is therapeutic in itself, but by verbalizing her thoughts and actions during the day, she may vent therapeutically there and then will be able to discuss it with you without blaming you and perhaps start to get around her anger. Again, whenever anyone asks what can they do to help, find something! Coworkers can cook, shop, run errands on their lunch hour without even going out of their way and want to do it. Finally you must sleep. This is where you must put your foot down with her children. They show up, you disappear. They'll get it and my statement always was "Don't call me unless there is blood." Hang in there and any other specifics, there is someone here that has at least some suggestions. Don't hesitate to ask. Debbie

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  • 1 month later...

Hi world :hiya:

 

So here it is Easter and I am so sick I have no energy to attend the Easter dinner my daughter in law has put together :tired: My wife is always saying that I am not nice to her anymore :Furious: How does one be nice when no effort is being even tried to regain her independence. Yes it may sound like all I do is point out things she forgets to do or the fact that she says "I can't" before she even tries to figure out how to do something :notworking: I am sooo sad and depressed with the direction this is going

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hello, rick, i would definetly talk to your doctor anout that i do not have the expertese in medicine and or vitamins supplement to answer that questions

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