Online dating


CagedBird

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As an individual with a disability I have found that it is easier to meet people online when it comes to dating. A lot of guys I meet in person see my hand or my limp before they see my personality. but through online dating, i can get to know someone and they like me for my personality before i even tell them about the stroke. Has anyone had success with online dating? I find it easier to build a friendship with someone behind the computer screen.

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It is easier Katrina and is more and more popular as long as you are very careful.you need to bring a friend when you meet a new person. Always tell someone where you are going. I wish you luck but please be careful.

 

mc

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I'm married but I know many people that have met people on line and get married, stayed together and all that. I am wary of the crap people say about themselves. I think when you are un able to go out,, I say ROCK it but do it wisely

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well I went on a date. I did not tell him about the stroke because I didn't think it mattered. I was scared that if I told him, he wouldn't want to meet. It's kind of hard to explain that your handicapped to someone who never met you before. People always imagine the worst. When we met in person he actually didn't notice anything until I said something. I told him about the effects of the stroke. He asked if I would ever get better and I said probably not since its been so long. I bragged about how I adjusted and I made sure I mentioned all the wonderful things I can do and the plus sides to being an individual with a disability. I pride myself in being unique and special because I am a strong person. I can do anything anyone else can do. I just do it in a different way. I thought the date went well. but he called the next day and told me he couldn't handle being more than friends because I can't do things he likes to do. I guess its my fault that I can't play sports and video games but I thought none of that would matter if I have an amazing personality. It hurt that I got my hopes up over someone so shallow but I will just wait for someone who is more mature. This guy was obviously looking for a play date

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Katrina, I am sorry your date didn't pan out into a relationship but its his loss. You will find the one for you some day. He didn't even have the guts to tell you to your face. I went on blind dates through a dating service but mine was on the phone. That is how I met my fiance. I kissed a lot of frogs before I met my prince. Don't give up and you had every right to brag about all you did and are doing post stroke. Continue to be positive and brag and you will meet your prince as long as you don't mind stepping on a few frogs along the way. All the best to you and good luck to you. There is someone for you out there. Go get him.

mc

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you know then he wasn't meant to be. That wasn't the only one so hold tight, His loss

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katrina, what a beautiful name, my 1st wifes name. im just an old guy who also had a stroke,and your so called date, well, his loss, when you find the right one, he will want to learn from you, and also teach you ways to do those so called things someone likes to do. i would give up all the things i like ,for one thing to love.and one to love me, be carefull, wont be long,

 

don

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Guest wickedwings

:You-Rock: I'm so sorry that the date didn't go well. You are brave to do the online dating. My mom-in-law met her husband online. He had said that he didn't think that she would want anything to do with him because he is completely. My mom-in-law told him that I'm deaf and married to her hearing impaired son. They dated EVERY day for two months and eloped. LOL. That happened 5 1/2 years ago. They're still together. Hee hee. Don't give up hope. Just be true to yourself and be yourself. :hug:

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I am married and have never tried online dating but I can understand it being easier to talk to people online. I have a much easier time online then I do face to face because sometimes my words come out wrong....especially if Im nervous. Good luck to you with the online dating thing just be careful. Maybe if you meet someone you really are interested in you could add them to your facebook if you have one. I have met some really great people boht on this site and other sites and if I feel comfortable with them and want to let them peer a little deeper into my world then I will add them to facebook. In your case then the guy can get to know you better and see you and maybe even know about your disbaility. Then if he wants to bail it is still on the internet level (less hurt maybe). If he knows all of this and has seen you and talked to you then maybe take the next step of meeting. You could even do your first "date" via Skype. It is free and it puts you guys face to face without being in the same room. I dont know...Im just trying to think of stuff to help with the whole dating process...you know to make it more comfortable and less hurtful if the guy ends up being a weasel. Reguardless of all that I just said I know there is a guy out there for you and you will meet him in time. Mr Right always comes along at the right time...or he wouldnt be Mr Right :) Good luck to you!

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Hi Katrina,

 

Bill and I are an internet couple. We met in 2001. I don't think there was anything he didn't know about me before we met!! Granted, he had a couple "secrets" but I fell in love with him and have dealt with the secrets since.

 

That being said, there isn't much wrong with starting out as friends. He didn't say he never wanted to see you - he said he wants to be friends. Please remember people often make superficial judgments for all sorts of reasons. One of the criteria you probably had before you met was how he looks..he had the same for you I bet.

 

So, from my perspective, look at your internet search as a way to make new friends, not a way to find a "relationship". You won't get hurt as quickly, and a friendship would at least have a chance to blossom into the relationship you are seeking. One other thing - the biggest negative thing I've heard about online dating is "surprises" about someone's looks. Don't even think about starting an online relationship without revealing your stroke to a potential boyfriend. This might sound mean of me to say, but you were setting yourself up by keeping that from this guy. He may not have asked you out if he'd known about it, but at least you wouldn't receive a "letter of rejection" the day after your date.

 

Good luck to you - and don't forget, the guy who wants to be friends probably has friends! Tell him he might be surprised about what you CAN do!

 

Ann Rogers

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As an individual with a disability I have found that it is easier to meet people online when it comes to dating. A lot of guys I meet in person see my hand or my limp before they see my personality. but through online dating, i can get to know someone and they like me for my personality before i even tell them about the stroke. Has anyone had success with online dating? I find it easier to build a friendship with someone behind the computer screen.

I met my husband through online dating and it was just a couple of months after my stroke. I was using a cane then and fell alot. I told him up front about the stroke and my other medical problems. Its been chalenging especially in the beginning the short term memory thing did and still can cause arguments but overall we've adapted nicely.Good luck there are still folks out there that don't care about the body as much as the mind...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yeah I have tried on-line dating as well. It has been moderately successful. I have meet people, gone out and that seemed ok. I ran into the normal problems, they just want free entertainment, they are crazy, they are boring etc.. :) Maybe they were put off by the stroke, can't say for sure. Just normal I think, we all have our ideal mates.

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Ok. p.s

Gavin you're gorgeous!

yes,I said it but you thought,It.

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good luck katrina, i hope that it will all wor=k out for you just be very careful and be very selected all the best to you

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good luck katrina, i hope that it will all wor=k out for you just be very careful and be very selected all the best to you

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  • 2 weeks later...

You guys were right! Check out my new blog. I put a blurb about my new boyfriend I met from online dating. We already met in person. Dont worry I had a friend with me and I am still alive :)

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You guys were right! Check out my new blog. I put a blurb about my new boyfriend I met from online dating. We already met in person. Dont worry I had a friend with me and I am still alive :)

Thats great news. I am happy it went well for you and congrats on your new relationship.

 

mc

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good deal!! Im so glad you found that special someone

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oh katria,i am so happy for you and i read your blog and it is wonderful that you have found a match for you and a very good match for both of you and thank you for filing us in on your wonderful date and he is very lucky to have found youall the best to you and being as happy as you are will definetly go a long way in making you recovery

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I always found online dating fascinating because it allowed you to get to know the other person (the real them) before physical impressions were ever seen. I had a massive stroke when I was 18 and I felt like when I met people in person all they could see was my stroked body and not my true personality. I started dating online shortly after my stroke. I've had some good experiences and some bad, but none of them were horrible. I tried eharmony for awhile. A great site but I actually found my fiance on a different site 2 years ago. We have been together 2 years now and are expecting our first baby in december. :) I say go for it!

 

 

 

 

 

As an individual with a disability I have found that it is easier to meet people online when it comes to dating. A lot of guys I meet in person see my hand or my limp before they see my personality. but through online dating, i can get to know someone and they like me for my personality before i even tell them about the stroke. Has anyone had success with online dating? I find it easier to build a friendship with someone behind the computer screen.

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  • 2 months later...

As an individual with a disability I have found that it is easier to meet people online when it comes to dating. A lot of guys I meet in person see my hand or my limp before they see my personality. but through online dating, i can get to know someone and they like me for my personality before i even tell them about the stroke. Has anyone had success with online dating? I find it easier to build a friendship with someone behind the computer screen.

 

I met my hubby online well before I had a stroke. 8 years, 1 on, and a disabling stroke later and we still love each other.:)

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  • 3 months later...

for me its definitely easier for me to meet people online as im n wheelchair n mute. but because of this i am always upfront with the girl because when we meet i sure cant hide it. i like to think women will always give me a chance, but a wheelchair may as well b woman repellant, n it also doesnt help im mute. however i have had a couple nice relationships that started online but nothin thats lasted.

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  • 2 months later...

hi,

 

this is weird i married into the faison name, my inlaws are from hampton VA. ( we are since divorced) but weird we shared a last name AND I just went through this 3 weeks ago. I talked to a guy from match.com and did not tell him right away, bc I felt like once I tell it takes over the conversation and I am no longer seen as a woman , just a stroke survivor. So i waited a full 2 weeks and told him the day before our planned date and unlike your experience he took it well and our date was Amazing!! we are still seeing eachother and says he's planning hiking trips that if I cant do he will just have to carry me!! he is soo amazing!! So just know that guy was a DB and there are good guys out there! so what we cant play sports or video games, a guy that truely connects with you wont care about that, there's plenty other stuff to do together:) you are an amazing woman just dont loose sight of that!! this does not define us it only makes us stronger and more interesting!!

 

Well I went on a date. I did not tell him about the stroke because I didn't think it mattered. I was scared that if I told him, he wouldn't want to meet. It's kind of hard to explain that your handicapped to someone who never met you before. People always imagine the worst. When we met in person he actually didn't notice anything until I said something. I told him about the effects of the stroke. He asked if I would ever get better and I said probably not since its been so long. I bragged about how I adjusted and I made sure I mentioned all the wonderful things I can do and the plus sides to being an individual with a disability. I pride myself in being unique and special because I am a strong person. I can do anything anyone else can do. I just do it in a different way. I thought the date went well. but he called the next day and told me he couldn't handle being more than friends because I can't do things he likes to do. I guess its my fault that I can't play sports and video games but I thought none of that would matter if I have an amazing personality. It hurt that I got my hopes up over someone so shallow but I will just wait for someone who is more mature. This guy was obviously looking for a play date

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  • 2 weeks later...

wow does he have a twin? lol Unfortunately I met another shallow guy. He was from match.com We had been communicating for about a month. He wanted someone who could handle him being in the Army. I poured out my heart to him and told him how faithful, honest, and caring I am, assured him I would always be there if he was ever deployed. Since we were being honest, I mentioned that I wanted someone who could handle me having a disability. I assured him I can walk and am taking physical therapy so Im not lazy but he told me Im a great person but he doesnt want to talk to me anymore. It hurt but Im glad he was honest and didnt waste any more of my time.

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Now that you are finished with school you can spend more time on your computer and maybe get mom or dad to drop you off in the mall since you aren't driving yet. I go almost daily and see so many people and ladies too who want to talk to me about my condition and my life. They don't see any rings on my finger and I tell them my lefty side is paralysed, they can't believe that.

 

In my case I figure they see an older man with money but that;s not the case all the time. Some of them, their husbands were killed in the war in Iraq and they just want friendship and a man around as they get pass being alone in life. That is why I think the mall will be an outlet for you on some days for meeting people!

 

The other place I go often is the hospital on the military base to get my prescriptions filled and again many people always want to talk with me. I been invited to so many homes I lost count but then in this town we do that with so many wounded and not coming back alive from the war!

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