How do you tell other new people about your stroke?


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How do you let people you just met know that you had a stroke? Do you tell people you work with, including your boss? What about people at the store, hotel, restaurant etc.?

 

I kmow exactly how you feel. It is like people dont understand. I rejoined Toastmasters. I had to learn how to speak all over again,I lacked confidence in speaking, and sometimes spoke with a slur when I was tired.I would also exercise so that when I spoke, my standing stance would not reflect my disability, My desire and dream is to win the international toastmaster speaker of the year which is held in the US once a year. I entered 4 speech competitions last week and got 3 placings, one first and two seconds. Very tiring and I started to notice my speech starting to slur as the night went on. The confidence I have gained from attending the toastmaster club has helped me immensely and I think it is because I am not dwelling upon what happened, I am pushing myself to excel in whatever I set myself to do. I still get the looks from those who don't understand what has happened, but also admiration from those who have seen overcome some obstacles. I have just finished being an announcer at a swimming meet where the masters( these are competitive swimmers aged over 30 who were swimming and there was a 94 year old lady swimming 400 metres freestyle. How amazing is that?When people came in and commented on my voice I would then share with them that I had had a stroke and they would comment on how well I look.

Be yourself. Go and join organizations that build and nurture you. They equip you to be yourself.

Cheers from Moses in New Zealand(Stroke in Sept2010)

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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest kimcrowe

I realize that I am too old to post here at the age of 48, but since I had my stroke at age 41, I feel that I can contribute. In retrospect, I absolutely would NOT disclose that I had suffered a stroke. You will be labeled and treated accordingly. At first I told everyone who crossed my path, but have since learned that it wasn't a good idea. There are many preconceptions about stroke and you WILL be judged. Did you bring it upon yourself will be at the forefront. Did you smoke? etc.............................I suffered a stroke due to a head injury in a car accident, but you would not BELIEVE the people who attributed my stroke to the fact that I smoked cigarettes. People always look for something to blame so that they can feel secure that it can't happen to them or THEIR family, which of course it can at any given moment.happy.gifhappy.gif

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I understand your views though not fully agree with them.

( once again it's just my view)

 

Under some circumstances not disclosing would be seen as acceptable, depending on the job. Some jobs I can see not stating and ones you had before your stroke and are able to return I think it's a common courtesy to your boss that he/she may be a little slower than before

 

Going back to the not smoking i feel that is a health hazard in some cases. But the person answering doesnt have to disclose the reason why. To not tell your boss that you smoke may or may not effect your job performance. But if you have days in which you can't function completely, your place of employment should be notified.

Not every stroke is a like and thusly shouldn't be treated as such. For me for example, just looking at me you'd never know I had a stroke but I have dizzy spells and a hard time speaking, among other things. I only think it would be fair for my boss to know. If something happens while you are at work then the business can be held accountable at no fault of their own.

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People always say 1 of the following 3 things when they see me;

 

1) is he working now, or can I pet your service dog?

 

2) He is so cute! Are you a dog trainer?

 

3) WHy do you have a service dog? Do you have a vision problem?

 

 

I answer them with the folloing;

 

1) Yes, he's working right now, but when we sit down, you can meet him if you'd like. That leads into why I have a service dog, which means I explain that I had a stroke and the dog helps me with balance problems.

 

2) Well, I am the dog's owner/trainer/handler. He's a mobility assist dog in training. This leads to a similar conversation as the answer to question 1.

 

3) He's not a guide dog, he's a mobility assistance dog. I have balance problems due to a stroke.

 

Most of the time, no matter what answer I give, I end up being asked all kinds of questions about how a service dog can help with mobility and balance problems and how do stroke survivors and other people find out about mobility assistance dogs.

 

It takes the awkwardness out of telling people I had a stroke.

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I usually don`t tell unless I am asked like I said in an earlier post. One place I do say something is at the superstore where I shop for groceries because there you are expected to bag your own groceries. I always ask for help to bag my items. The cashier often eyes me funny like I am too good to do this myself. I, then tell her it is not a whim, I need help because I am disabled. Then she feels bad and calls for help right away.

 

mc

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  • 2 months later...

I don't usually tell people unless they ask. I used to tell in the past, but all the people got so amazed and then they didn't know what to tell. And then I got tired of telling my story too many times, and now if everyone asks I just summarize. But that has been a problem for job interviews, I haven't had any luck, I think I can't tell my story in an inspirational way (lol). Plus I had my stroke at 22 and I didn't have the chance to get a job earlier, so i have no experience and it's been difficult ...

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Personally, I've always found humour to be a helpful tool in life's ups and downs. I was at my brother's last year and looked at his heat pump and said, "Wow, you've got central air. Did you just put that in?" He peered at me and looked disturbed as he slowly answered, "Noooooo..I've had it 3 years." Silence. So I said, "Hey, I've got brain damage. What do you expect?" That put us all at ease.

 

If I have to fill in papers anywhere - banking or purchase, etc - and my handwriting shoots all over the place I dont' get embarassed if the other person looks strangely at me. I just casually say, "I had a stroke last year and my hand is being very disobedient."

 

If I'm tired and crash into a doorframe, I just add sound effects, like "Boiing!"

 

Some people are always going to react badly to any type of disability, but perhaps because they know it could just as easily have been them so they're frightened and uncomfortable.

 

At my age (59) I long since stopped caring about anyone's opinion of me. I certainly understand it's much harder when one is young and more image concious. I'm sure it's much more difficult for the young people here.

 

 

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Since my 5 strokes, I have some serious problems. I am in a wheelchair, can barely talk or use my right arm, and the right side of my face severely droops. They have affected the way I appear to others a lot. People tend to think I am mentally unaware and talk or look past me. I just say "Hi, I'm Brooke, how are you?". Sometimes if it's someone I don't like, or don't care to talk to, I pretend like I don't understand them. It's funny to watch them.

my

When people ask me, I tell them about my strokes. Kids, especially, tend to look at me funny or act scared. I just wave at them and they tend to warm up. For the most part I find talking about what happened helps people relax, but I only talk about it if they ask. I find talking about it helps increase awareness about it and it's symptoms. I tell important people (like my boss, boyfriend, or friends,andcoworkers) that I'm going to spend a lot of time with, as a precaution, because it was my boss, not me, who caught the first one. She said "Something's off with you." That made me put everything together, and call 911. It helped that she was a nurse, but it also helped that she new aout my health problems.

 

If that isn't enough, you are required by law to tell your employer about any pre-existing conditions because they are liable if you had another stroke while operating machinery or anything dangerous. But I just think it's good practice.

 

 

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moses, i only tell the people that i meet only if they ask what happen to me and why am i using a scooter then i tell them but i don"t really find that i have to tell someone whats wrong with me as it is probably preatty obviosly unless i am on my scooter then i tell them but only if theask and then i usually get the standard comment either gee you look to young to have had a stroke or else you look preatty healthy to have a stroke how did it happen ?was it caused by your diet?did you smoke?just being friendly as best that i can will usually open up quite a conversation about how and why

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