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i hope that your wife didn"t believe the doctor ?they do tend to talk without thinking about the patiens or yourfeelings and that proves it not only do kids say the dardest thing but now it looks like so do the doctorthank you for letting me know about that RD

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Let me weigh in on this. When I was in the hospital the doctor came in every day. He asked me my name. He said it like this "Can you say your name?", mind you I was suffering from Aphasia at the time. For those who don't know what Aphasia is, it's the inability to speak. This was only my third day from the stroke. When I couldn't answer him, he made some notations in my chart and moved on to his next patient. If I could speak, I would've called him an arrogant S.O.B. The dick needs to go back and take remedial bedside manner 101. I never forget that man. And if I ever see him again, I gonna give him a piece of my mind, what's left of it.

-phildogg

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one more thing RD, since i won"t be seing your doctor could you please give your doctor a what for from me i don"t like doctor opinion anyway so if you find that he does have a mind tell him that i would be glad to pay for the doctor to take a class of bedside manner101 or how to give srroke survivers hope instead of discouraging

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RD we must have the same doctor. I was told the same thing. That was 26 years ago. I was then outpatient, walked with a cane, wore an AFO. That was 1 year post for me. I believed him. So I stopped trying to get better. What was the use? When I was 21 years post, I met the love of my life. He encouraged me to get more physio therapy. Now, I walk without my brace,even without the cane in summer. Please don't believe him. I know for a fact that recovery never ends as long as we don't quit trying. All the best to you.

 

mc

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When Bruce was in the ER, he was assigned the Neuro that was on call that night. I was told, Oh he is young and very aggressive and you will be happy you have him. Well two years in, neither Bruce or I care that much about him. He knows where his money is at, and Bruce and stroke, are not it.

 

However, we do our six month check ups. I bring a list, just to "p" him off and then I deal with Bruce's PCP, who is an absolute dear; Bruce's two Physiatrists and his Vascular Surgeon-who,by the way,scheduled Bruce's Endarterectomy on a holiday because he knew we were paying privately for the Rehab, until the surgery and dc home.

 

There's good and there's not so good. I am a Nurse, I know what to ask, I know what I expect. I don't get the "A" answer, I just go around it. I have to have a Neuro on the team, but for the important stuff, I have my go-to people.

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I have to add my input on this. When Larry had the stroke he was assigned the Nuerologist on duty in the ER at the time. He continued to see him in the hospital. We were also assigned a vascular surgeon who took Larry's case and ordered many tests. After 7 days, Larry's PCP gave orders for Larry's transfer to the Acute Rehab Hospital which was great. The vascular surgeon said to contact him in 6 weeks after Larry had recovered more and did not recommend surgery at the time. We went back to the surgeon who was ready to do the stent surgery and said we needed to see the nuerologist also. We went to see the Nuero a week later with my son's help and Larry in the WC. The Nuero had not talked to the surgeon and he didn't seem to even be up on Larry's medical reports and said he would review his case and then call. Well, I had to call him! We went for a 2nd opinion at a different facility and we are staying with this vascular surgeon. He said we did not need a Nuerologist. Larry has the carotid dopplar scans every 6 months. So far, so good, no surgery. A lot of these doctors don't even review your case until they pull the file off the door when seeing the patient! The thing is when you go to the ER with a life threatening disease, you don't have time to shop for the best doctor. God forbid you don't have family to help you.

Julie

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My neuro isn't very personable but I was always told he's one of the best (he performed both my brain surgerys) & I don't leave his office till I go thru my list. I used to feel like I was bothering him with my ?'s, concerns.. but it's my health & that's his job!

My GP on the other hand, is very thorough, takes his time to answer ?'s, explains things...

 

I guess you sort of have to be non-attached (?) when your a brain surgeon.. but you have to find a Dr. you are comfortable with.

 

~Danielle

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Justice.....

 

I work closely with my GP Doc....We have a back and fourth info flow...And he's known me for a long time....

 

As savingthebrain pointed out, there are different types of Docs you see....

 

The specialists use the info from my GP Doc....

 

So....maybe a multi approach works better...

 

Care...

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The neuro who saw me in the hospital simply wanted to put me in a facility for 6 months, without even talking to me. He actually sent a TECH in to tell me what my diagnosis and "options" were, then wanted me to follow up with him 2 weeks after I was released from the hospital. Yeah right. I went to my primary care doctor first and explained how I felt about the "care" the neuro gave me. My primary recommended a different neuro, who I made an appointment with. He was a much more interested doctor. Talked to me about everything, listened towhat I had to say, answered all of my questions and all of Sam's questions.

 

Personally, I don't care how "brilliant" a doctor is, if he has the bed-side manner of a spikey ball, I'll go with a doctor who may be less "brilliant," but better at listening to and understanding his patients.

 

Some one once told me "they may have the cure for all of life's diseases, but if a doctor can't connect and communicate with his patients, what good is all that knowledge?"

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That's no good at all and probably why he sent someone else in to tell you the news. He probably have interest in the facility he wanted you to be in for that time frame.

 

You made the right choice and all of us got choices we can make. So long as you and Sam is happy, that's all that matters! :big_grin: Hang tuff!

 

 

Road dog was told that same thing and I'm glad you all posted so other members facing that situation will know to make their own choices when faced by a doctor with this attitude! :rolleyes: :happydance:

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  • 3 weeks later...

When I had my stroke, went to the emergency department and told them I think I'm having a stroke was slurring and my left hand was numb. I also had heart palpitations. I was told to wait in the waiting room was in the waiting room for over six hours and then the doctor finally saw me and said

listen sweetheart you earn I guarantee you are not having a stroke
I went home and the next morning went to another hospital where they did take a CT scan and told me it was negative. I went to see my family Dr. and she sent me immediately to another hospital where they requested the CT scan from the second hospital and sure enough, the stroke was they are clearly. In fact they said I had three strokes in total. Two older ones and then the one that caused the damage. My left side with became paralyzed. The doctor that was in the hospital that finally treated me told me, that I'm lucky because next time I could land up with a feeding tube and in a diaper. He also told me that many survivors go on to have another stroke within a few months. This scared the absolute crap out of me! It really messed with my head it still does. Then I started to read things that stated so many people have multiple strokes within the first year. That is why am so happy, I found this message board because I read people better survived for so many years, it is really given me some great hope. I have been living with such stress and overwhelming fear. Thank you all for sharing your stories to giving me back some hope.

 

 

 

It has only been five months and I have a long way to go and I'm trying to stay positive but it's pretty difficult.

 

Hugs, Linda

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Linda: I am so sorry. No one can take back the damage done to you, you can only move forward.

 

Bruce also was misdiagnosed in the ER. His right sided weakness resolved and personally I think the PA figured with his age, it was just a TIA. But we can't go back. At some point if you feel you might want to consider litigation, so be it. But for now, it is what it is-to quote my darling sister.

 

Take care of yourself and work diligently every day toward recovery. Take everything insurance offers and fight them if they refuse. Watch your diet, invoke your faith and draw up the strength you have in yourself. Post often and please do give us your feedback. Prayers, Debbie

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RD give the doctor a what for for me i find that most doctor seems to be that way don"t want to give the patient to munch hope

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I have made a formal complaint to the college of physicians and surgeons and they are investigating the treatment I received or did not receive. I miss the opportunity to have the clot busting drugs which would've saved me a lot of agony. I am also considering legal action. It is hard to believe that two different hospitals messed up. One told me have my numb handed slurring was carpal tunnel syndrome. The other hospital took a CT scan and misread it. I always believed that we had a great health system here until this happened.

 

Hugs, Linda

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  • 4 weeks later...

Ok since you've asked I'll chime in too. I'm a doctor, astroke and endovascular neurosurgon in fact. Im also a stroke survivor ;o) MY opinion is, if your doctor doesnt listen to you dump him or her and dump them fast LOL (that's a line from the movie A Bronx Tale ) seriouly though,I say this becauseno patient has ever walkedin to my office or the ER with a cosmic note pinned to their shirts indicating what their problem is and how to solve it. medicine simply doesn't work lik that. we've all heard horror stories about misdiagnoses and while I share in some of that horror. I know medicine is tough and there are many diffierent potential sources to a patients problem. wedoctors obviously can't and don't know everything so what we do is take the history of the present illness or coplaint.whih involves lots of questioning and listening to the answers We combine what tou patiebts tell us with what we see on our examination and then we obtain specialized tests. After our results come in we make an educated guess combining the information we received from our patient, what we learned in med school and residency training and similar probems we've seen in other patents as well as all the info we've read about in journls and text books then we formulate a list in our minds of what might be going o n inour patient. We'r ading to the list and eliminating things as we gt more data andhear new fascet of our patiet story thenwe also consider what we've seen in our many years of study and practice whh gives us clinical experience we eventtually have moments like.." ahhh.. I've seen this before and that patient said this and complained of that and when I examined them I found this defecit and when I looked at their brain MRi we found this problem . We store up the stories of our past patients to help guide us as to what we are seeng with our new patients. And of course we hve to read lots and lots of medical literature to stay crrent but in the end what you get is our best educated guess. So if a doctor doesn't listen to you and I mean really listen to you. how good could their guess be?Sorry for the tyos, Im still typing 1 handed as my left hand and arm areb't bac yet. I wish you the best with this octor, if you stay, or your future doctor if you leave Best wishes for your full recovery, good health and patience while you're on the long road to recovery :o) Dr's have got to listen.. .unless they're psychic ad I don't kow any psychic doctors. It all starts with the person waking into the office and what they tell me about what they're feeling then I go from there After of course, asking tons of questions to help me eliminate things from or add things to my list of what could be wwrong with that person... Its a process but if you really feel like they're not listening to you find somebody who will. its ot easy work but the best of us do te best b at hearing what our patens say and investigating appropriate potential problems. Anybody could order every test i the book for every problem but a good doctor kows what to order because they've got a running formulstion of the persons' problem Its science mixed with a whole lot of art but garbage in garbage out... If te doc isn't tking it all in, what good can possiby come out. Sorry so long wined and best of luck :o)

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I have to weigh in on this also. When I first had my stroke, one of the doctors involved said I was doing this for attention. Therefore I did not get into a MRI, even though the code team had said I was having a stroke, for over 48 hours, which by that time, I had had the second stroke. Needless to say I do NOT go to this doctor. Found another doc to follow me and he is wonderful and says the other doc needs therapy. LOL

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The one Doctor went as far as to give me an info sheet on the signs and symptoms of a stroke and a nice magnet put on my fridge.... What makes it so sad is I had everything on the list.

 

The sick thing about this is the doctor handed me a sheet explaining the signs of stroke and I had every symptom on that sheet she gave me she also gave me a lovely fridge magnet. She assured me that I was wasting their time and there was nothing wrong. Her response to the college of physicians and surgeons stated that I did not mention anything of stroke? She out and out lied to defend herself.

 

When I have my cast removed the nurse there told me that, it has been six months and I got I have back all one going to get back.... I should accept that I have brain damage. Continue to tell me after six month I would see no further recovery. It took everything in me not tell her to shut up and set her straight.

 

 

I have the best GP and cardiologist

 

 

 

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After readinh this thread

Yes there is good & bad with anyone

Docs are only as good in general as their patients-- they R not majicians but educated problem solvers

In order to solve the puzzle they must be handed all the pieces - we R our own advocates. we must work with our docs " I think it is this problem > try this - let me know if it doesn't work - it is our responsibvility to follow through withh them -- No it didn't help . good doc now knows what alternative to look at

Certainly is a shame when screw up is life & death we know our bodies better than doc - be asswetive - not aggressive whwn need be

 

eg my 80 yr old father in law had fast growing tumor on cheek our GP referred him to specialist he'd see n a few times. I questioned him as I saw it growing & changing. hw didn't have a clue - didn't want to complain I phoned out GP who was on the phone asap with specialist

Dad was at cancer clinic in week. Sister in law blamed our greatGP for not noticing when Dad was in for other things -- Hey c'mon be fair.

 

personal opinion> men & seniors should not go to doc alone Dad's lady friend told me they were brougt up believing doc was a "god: or majician

 

if something is not right in your treatment question it

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Adding my two cents... My Neuro doc is awesome, answers my long list of questions and understands that my personality requires some depth in his explanations for me to connect the dots about something. He listens, he gives good analogies as well as not dumbing things down too much. In contrast, I had a GP from prestroke that became dismissive to me post stroke. Talked past me to address my husband in answering questions. Condescending and dismissive behavior is unacceptable to me and I found another Dr after his attitude shift. A friend asked if I'd said anything to him before I changed Dr.s. No,I didn't, it's not my job to teach him to be a better Dr. for stroke survivors at this point in my recovery.

 

I might put up with a brilliant,talented @ss, briefly, for a surgery, but my care needs someone who hears what I'm saying rather than already having a fixed opinion and treating me to suit it.

 

 

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I was just wondering if anyone choses to find another Doctor if he/she has poor bedside manner even tho he/she is a great doctor. I started seeing another doc. and he speaks very quickly, interrupts me and overall isn't at all interested in what I have to say. However, he is very intelligent. So, opinions?

 

It strikes me that ALL doctors who are involved in the care of a stroke patient have a poor bedside manner. They have usually been taught that "it is a stroke, can't do anything about it, beat them into acceptance", and consider that someone who has had a stroke is, quite obviously, mentally deficient, and proceed to treat us without respect.

I have shopped around for a decent neurologist since the stroke 15 years ago, and have yet to find one. I am the only one who does any research on my behalf, not my doctor, and, supposing that something I find provides me with great improvement, I would guess that the doctor would take that discovery as his own.

I can put up with a lot if it could help me improve, though. You say your specialist is intelligent, but is he actually doing anything to help you? If he is not listening to you, and just shoving his thoughts down your throat, then it does not strike me that he is actually being a particularly good doctor. if he does not listen to you, how does he know the difficulties that are peculiar to YOU, and not the general stroke population. Dump him, and find one who listens to you, and thereby may be willing to help you in some way, that is what he is being paid for, after all.

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Ok since you've asked I'll chime in too. I'm a doctor, astroke and endovascular neurosurgon in fact. Im also a stroke survivor ;o) My hand and arm aren't back yet.

 

 

I am in total awe of you. To be able to go back into such challenging work after a stroke, AND with the difficulty of having only one hand working properly makes it even more incredible. This is not strictly on topic, but I do not know how to open another topic from another thread, so my apologies to those who are following this thread, but is it difficult to do your work now, I lost the use of my non dominant hand, and I find simple clothes mending beyond my skills (except being done poorly).

How long post stroke were you, when you went back into real practice? And did you face a lot of discrimination?

I have to say that it would be of great comfort to somebody who has had a stroke to be able to deal with someone who knows what they are going through and does not treat them with the disrespect that is reserved for the physically disabled.

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  • 2 months later...

Just to maybe give everyone a slight ray of hope, I have a great Neuro doc who is attentive, caring, and very good at what he does. My GP also falls in to the same class as he does. I have had the Neuro doc for 4 years now and the GP for about 6 months. But here is the biggest shocker of all, we are on an H.M.O.!! So if you look hard enough you can find them. It took us a while but we found them. I don't know if this is allowed but if anyone lives in the Los Angeles area and would like further information, just let me know!

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  • 2 weeks later...

We are also struggling with a similar problem at the moment. My brother (Kevin) suffered a stroke three months ago. His neurologist is very difficult to communicate with. Kevin is in hospital, and unable to speak. The Dr does visit him, but we get no feedback. Kevin cannot tell us what has happened, and the dr only lets us know anything if there is something urgent or if we phone him. We have no plan forward and dr seems to be doing his own thing. We are looking at changing drs, but the politics is overwhelming! I think that it is important to be able to communicate, and even if they are very clever (they have to be in order to be a neurologist), it is also important to remember the patient and their families and take a little time for them. Good luck in your decision. Does anyone have any other thoughts?

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I was just wondering if anyone choses to find another Doctor if he/she has poor bedside manner even tho he/she is a great doctor. I started seeing another doc. and he speaks very quickly, interrupts me and overall isn't at all interested in what I have to say. However, he is very intelligent. So, opinions?

 

I had a similar issue with my Neurologist, so I fired him. I don't think waiting 6mo to get the results from an MRI are particularly professional. If it took me 6 months to do anything at work, I know would be let go.

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