Can Someone Help Me Remember Things?

[lydiacevedo]

Let's face it, life the past few months has been a whirlwind - and not the positive kind. I'm glad to say that Garion is healing well, dealing with learning to accept himself as he is now, and looking forward to getting back to work. Sam and I have been looking for a house. My disability claim is under appeal, but we are making ends meet. So I have much to be grateful for and I thank God in my prayers every day.

 

 

Then there is the topic of my shirt term memory. I really think it is getting worse instead of better. Writing notes to myself is almost useless. If the note is not right in front of me, every minute of every day, I don't remember I even wrote myself a not, let alone what it was I needed to remember. Setting alarms is no better because when the alarm goes off, it scares me and I wonder who the heck it was that did something so pointless and upsetting as setting an alarm. Lists of things to do fall the way of notes.

 

 

 

I've asked people to start calling me during the day to give me "friendly reminders" of things. The problem there is we get off topic, chatting, and I forget what it was they called to remind me, as soon as we hang up. If I don't do whatever it was they called to remind me to do, right away, it won't happen.

 

 

 

The only think I CAN manage to remember to do is to take my pills every morning. Of course, that is a habit that has been there for more than 20 years.

 

 

 

I have to find some more effective coping mechanisms to deal with this total inability to remember things from one minute to the next. It really bothers me that I cannot keep track of life like I did before the stroke, and that it only seems to be a progressively worsening problem. How do other people manage to get through the day with no short term memory? I really need the help.

[Guest]

There are three types of memory and each are kept in different parts of the brain--I forget which parts! But memory is 'filed' in different ways too. I remember that though!

 

Information is stored short term initially through repetition and after it is repeated is transferred to long term memory---which is why you remember to take your medications.

 

Could you continue with making your lists and read them out loud to yourself each morning, and have your loved ones ask just before you hang up to have you repeat to them what you need to do? Also hearing your own voice repeating those tasks will help and may retrain your brain to accept and store things better and retrieve short term memory better.

 

As always talk to your neuropsychologist for any possible help too.

 

Jamie

[Ethyl17]

Lydi: Short Term Memory is flighting. If it is not reassured often (Bruce's therapist made me do it every two hours) it will not toss the info into Long Term Memory (your medications schedule). This is all day, every day and there are no short cuts.

 

Again, I am wondering if you are trying too soon to multi-task? It is not enough that you write out your notes, you absolutely MUST review them every two hours, re-read, recite out loud; and move on. Bruce's therapist made me do it with only one thing a day, all day. You do not have that luxury. You have a household to manage. Pin your notes on your sleeves and read them often. If you are taking pills often during the day and you know you remember that, your notes must be by your pills. As you finish a note task, toss it. Do not overwhelm yourself with things already done.

If it is stuff that involves the car, notes must be by the keys.

 

One thing we are trying based on a book I am reading is sing-song. Write your reminder and then attach a familiar tune to it: ring around a rosy, twinkle twinkle little star, set it to music. The recurring theme will be enough to remind you, at least to look at your notes. "Monster, Monster needs a walk, eieio" "with a stop for milk and a stop for bread, here a milk, there a bread, everywhere a milk and bread" etc.

 

Baby steps and you are doing fine. Keep up the great recovery. Debbie

[Pwilson18]

HI I HAVE SOME SHORT TERM MEMORY LOSE AND IT HELPS ME TO KEEP NOTES. I JUST KEEP A NOTEBOOK WHERE I SIT, MOST OF THE TIME , AND WRITE DOWN THINGS I NEED TO BUY ..SAY AT THE GROCERY STORE FOR THIS WEEKEND WHEN I GO, OR BUY A CARD FOR SO AND SO BIRTHDAY. THIS SEEMS TO HELP ME A LOT.I LOOK AT THE LIST AT LEAST 5/6 TIMES A DAY!AND NOT BEING ABLE TO DRIVE TO DO THE BANKING OR WRITING CHECKS, I FORGET OFTEN WHAT THE DAY IS AND I HAD TO QUESTION MY HUSBAND THE OTHER DAY ABOUT THE YEAR..IS IT 2011 OR 2012? LOL PATTY

[mcdube]

Lydia, I dont want to rain on your parade but I am 27 years post and my memory is still bad. What has helped me is I make myself a to do list. Like that you only have 1 thing to remember instead of 15 or 25. You only have to remember to look at your list. Whatever doesn`t get done goes on tomorrow`s list. I keep my pills and my to do list at my place at the table. Believe it or not I sometimes forget to take the darn pills. Especially the day that my pill box has to be filled. By the time I finish fiddling with it, I set it aside and start eating and oops I forgot to take the ones for that day. Its pretty much a hit and miss affair. The more you practice your memory the better it gets. Mine is better than it was but nothing is perfect after a stroke. Good luck to you.

 

mc

 

PS. I love Debbie`s suggestion about singning reminders.

[sebi99]

yes Lydia A day minder I carry one around with me where ever i go . Every where. Not so hard . I write many notes plan events. Go to office max and get one. I book appointments trust me every page is black.

[lharrison]

lydia well like you i have an aweful short term memory and knowing that you have a bad memnmory is half the battle because now you know what you need that you need to do something about the memory issues and what i now to and have to do now is i write everything down in my little folder note book i writer down what i have to do or whoi have to do it with and also what i now am started to do religeosly is i buy a calander which has large numbers on it so if there is a day that is very importand i can circle it in red with the what where and what time tit starts the calandar is cheap and it is easy to find and if you get in the habit of writing it down it will become habit to you lydia i hope thisis helpful to you and i wish you nothing but the verry best in your journey of recovery

[merichsen]

Lydia,

Writing notes as reminders and setting alarms only works if you attend to their purpose immediately and don't try to commit to memory why you set them up. If you put the clothes in the washer and know in 45 minutes they'll need to go in the dryer, you can write a little note and set a timer. When the times dings and you see the note reminding you about the dryer, you must immediately go do the task or you'll probably turn your attention else where and forget. At that point the note and alarm would have been worthless, they are only effective if you work with them. The key may be not to set up things as memory aides and then make it counter productive by trying to remember what you were supposed to do anyway. ~ Dryer, now, do it. Not in 5 minutes, not now right I... Immediately, you didn't forget, it's done.

Try keeping it simple by focusing and completing one task at a time.

 

((((((hugs))))))

 

Maria

[kanderson]

LYDI, I TOO HAVE MY MEMORY PROBLEMS, SOME DAYS WHEN I GET UP I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT DAY IT IS. I TOO KEEP A CALENDER. WHAT MIGHT HELP IS PUTTING STICKY NOTES OF WHAT YOU NEED TO REMIND YOURSELF OF.PUT THE NOTES IN PLACES THAT YOU FREQUENT OFTEN, LIKE ON THE BATHROOM MIRROR, OR ON THE KITCHEN CABINETS,REFRIGERATOR DOOR, SINCE THEY ARE STICKY THEY WILL STAY PUT UNTIL YOU TAKE IT DOWN. SO WHEN YOU GO INTO THOSE ROOMS, YOUR EYES ARE DRAWN TO THEM. PUT THEM ANYWHERE THAT YOU WILL NOTICE THEM. CLOSET DOOR, ON THE BACK OF A CLOSED DOOR,THINGS LIKE THAT, BECAUSE SOME DAYS YOU MIGHT FORGET TO LOOK AT YOUR CALENDER OR DAY PLANNER. I DID THIS FOR AWHILE AND IT HELPED ME. ALSO OTHER MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY WILL SEE THEM AND MAY REMIND YOU THAT WAY TOO. OVER THE YEARS, I HAVE GOTTEN MYSELF INTO A ROUTINE, LIKE TAKING MY MEDS WHEN I GET UP EVERYDAY WITH MY COFFEE, REFILLING MY PILLS EVERY SUNDAY. HOW DO YOU REMIND YOURSELF TO WATCH YOUR FAVORITE SHOW EVERY WEEK? THEN AS MARIA SAID DO THE TASK AS SOON AS YOU READ THE NOTE TO AVOID FORGETTING IT AGAIN. REPETITION DOES HELP WITH TIME. I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WILL HELP YOU BUT IT'S WORTH A TRY. WE ALL HAVE TO FIGURE A WAY THAT WORKS FOR US. I KNOW YOU WILL FIND ONE TOO. IT DOES GET BETTER. THE HOUSE MIGHT LOOK LIKE THE HOUSE OF STICKY NOTES, BUT HEY WHATEVER WORKS RIGHT.

[fking]

Well I got just a regular cell phone, no smart phone features, and I use the calendar to put down what I need to remember for each day of the month. The little sticky notes is another way if you can remember where you stick them! Lastly, if you forget enough times you'll find a way to remember but we lost much of our memory abilities so we got to deal with a bit of lost memory I suspect.

Fred!

[CallmeRachel]

Lydi,

 

What follows is a caregiver perspective --

 

perhaps it can be useful information for survivors:

 

I know that my beloved hub (two hemorrhagic strokes 2009)

 

cannot remember/retain much current input.

 

I have learned to adjust to some of that reality.

 

But in certain, IMPORTANT circumstances,

 

I do this:

 

I stand in front of him, I look him in the eye

 

and I say:

 

"Listen, dear, I need to get this information

 

into your long-term memory. Repeat after me:

 

We are going to a dinner party tomorrow at 6PM.

 

Repeat it, honey, say it out loud,

 

let's get it into your long-term."

 

He does it, he repeats it out loud two, three times

 

and (trumpet fanfare)

 

we get it into his long-term memory!

 

Works most of the time. Give it a try.

 

Rachel

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mcdube]

Another thing Lydia. Sometimes just the fact of writing it anywhere, helps me remember,

 

mc

[Sudz]

Hi Lydi, I am an organize freak & what works pretty good fo r me is to keep a note book on the kitchen table ( even just a coil bound I date the top of the page & write upcoming things to do during the day

Make doc appt refill prescriptions phone so & so pay this bill etc. as I think of other things during the day I'll note them atbottom.

 

next day - new sheet & date - bring the undone forward to today & add new. often I'll jot notes on a corner such as dish soap & as I run into them during the day - say bottom right of page - then whwn start a grocery list I know to refer to those one-word notes. this really works for me - must keep the

note book in the same place all the time - so you can't forget where U put it! I also keep a calendar I can right on close to the notebook & phone.

works better for me than stickey notes every where. I think it has helped my memory just by having things written which helps U to remember.

 

 

Hope it works for you, Good Luck!

 

Susan

[lydiacevedo]

Well, I'm certainly willing to give all of these ideas a try. We'll see how well they work. Thanks for all the replies and all the advice!!

[fking]

WELL, WELL, WELL, I THINK GIVING THEM ALL A TRY IS NOT IN YOUR BEST INTEREST RIGHT NOW. i WOULD PICK OUT A FEW THAT YOU FEEL WILL WORK THEN TRY THEM A WEEK OR TWO. IF ONE DOESN'T WORK DROP IT THEN ADD ANOTHER ONE. YOU GOT ABOUT 13 TO CHOOSE FROM, START TOMORROW SATURDAY OCTOBER 1ST, THAT'S EASY TO TRACK AND KEEP UP WITH.

 

I HOPE YOU GET A COUPLE WAYS TO HELP YOU REMEMBER! THEN IN ABOUT 15 DAYS LET ALL OF US KNOW HOW YOU ARE COMING ALONG. WE MAY LEARN SOMETHING TOO! GOOD LUCK!

Fred!

[lydiacevedo]

Thanks Fred. I wasn't going to try all of them at once, but more like 1 at a time.

 

I was just saying that all the suggestions have their merrits and that I didn't want to discount any of the suggestions.

 

Sorry, sometimes the meanings of what I say/type don't quite come across the way I intend them yet. It's a work in progress.