struggling with anxiety.

[Melanie]

I had multiple strokes about 20months ago post partum. Took 4 months or so to diagnose, mimicked ms. Anyway all good not too many deficits,. about 12 weeks ago I changed from asprin to clovix, due to tummy upset. Anyway about a week later, dizziness and vertigo and headaches returned. I panicked went to emergency, anyway mri showed nothing new, put down to migraines from stroke, nuero suggested go back on asprin. My problem now is anxiety big time, don't know how I got to this, I got used to my symptoms, lived with them. Now I am too scared to be on my own, cant relax, feel like I am having a nervous breakdown. am on an anti depressant which apparently is a migraine preventer, have been to one counselling session. she thinks I will come out of it naturally, my logical brain not caught up with my emotional. I can see what I am doing to myself, but cant seem to pull myself out of it. Unbelievable, when there is nothing actually wrong. Any suggestions? or similar experiences. I feel guilty as I have come out all right, but man the anxiety has taken over.

[1967stingray]

Anxiety is tricky, and a terrible feeling. I am not being flippant, believe me: But if drugs don't help, there is always yoga, deep breathing, imagining sitting on the beach, that kind of psychological "therapy". Believe me, I've been there. Even a good work out at the gym can do wonders. I used to think drugs cured whatever ails you, but the mind is a powerful thing. Could even be that depression or anxiety is a side effect of one of your newer presciptions? I am going through something similar right now (I am a caregiver though) and am trying to reach some resolution myself.

[JustSally]

You don't need to have a stroke to go through this...everyone suffers anxiety at one time or many. I have found the facing your fears head on helps. Afraid to be alone...get a panic button. Can't relax...put that energy to work. Afraid to do something...do it and find out what you feared. Are you a tiger or a mouse? I have gotten through a tough life this way and I am still here.

[fking]

Melanie,

 

I got no experience with anxiety at all and I'm nearing ten years of recovery so back to the saying each stroke case is different. I haven't had any conversations either with anyone suffering with anxiety. I surly hope you can find a solution so it doesn't drive you batty.

 

When you are scared to be on your own that's not good at all because I'm on my own most of the time by the work schedule my wife has and her church involvement like choir practice/bible study and praise dance practice different days every week. She leaves work driving fast to be on time at the church on those days. She leaves home by 630 for work at 7am and I don't see her until 930pm.

[smarshall]

Hi Melanie,

My 1st experience with anxiety post stroke was drug-related. I started taking Paxil as an antidepressant - suffice it to say I had to change to another. Anxiety sucks! I do have a medic alert button, and that helps some; I also have been on an anti-anxiety med for a while now, and it has made a huge difference for me. I don't have any negative side effects from it. (From what I've read, anti-anxiety meds are a central nervous system depressant) I also do deep breathing, and chair yoga - my balance is pitiful - and that helps too. I did take a non-narcotic med for anxiety called "Buspar" but the side effects were horrible and I had to stop. Do whatever works for you.

 

Susan :bbq:

[Ethyl17]

Welcome Melanie. I can certainly understand anxiety. Something happened, you finally got it diagnosed, put on a nice med routine that you were happy with, med change and WOW hit with the stick!

 

First off, if aspirin was working and all was well, there is Enteric-coated Aspirin that dissolves in the small intestine, rather than the stomach. I am figuring you were already on that and you still experienced difficulty. Food. Plan that aspirin dose around a meal. Eat about 1/4 of the meal, take the aspirin, finish the meal.

 

The only thing I can advise and this is certainly from a caregiver's viewpoint, is stroke never lets you rest. You feel you are in a comfortable and safe routine and then BAM, everything changes. We deal mainly with stroke here. But as a Nurse, I will tell you other support groups are dealing with the same issues. The body is a remarkable entity. It deals with balance and when that balance is interrupted, there is havoc.

 

You never let your guard down, but you do learn your triggers, what is just not right. And honey, you did the absolute right thing - had yourself checked out. Go with your own feelings, best you can. Trust your Neuro to put you on a solid regime and just try to focus on the positive - getting through the day. Doing your exercises, dealing with life.

 

Set up your routine, something you are safe with and stick with it: Breakfast, meds, laundry, exercise, lunch, nap, exercise, dinner prep, dinner, shower, pjs, reading, meds, bed. You will feel most comfortable with a strong, definitive routine.

 

Go easy honey. I just can't imagine having to deal with your issues every single day. For my Bruce, I just try to keep things even and quiet. Post often and please do let us know how you are going. Debbie, caregiver to husband Bruce, stroke March 2009

[becky1]

Melanie, I think your last sentence says alot; "I feel guilty....". I've got a feeling that you're waiting on the other shoe to drop, because you feel guilty.Deal with the guilt. Having a stroke was not your fault, and being very unaffected is not your fault, but a blessing.Let go of the guilt, and try focusing on now. Becky

[Melanie]

Thanks for the support everyone. Yes I do need to face my fears head on. It seems that my symptoms are exacerbated at the moment, I imagine the stress is what is the cause for that. A viscious cycle. I never imagined that stroke effects wax and wane over time, and it has freaked me out. I guess anxiety from this is just making it all worse. I will get there, that is right to trust the neurologist and all the tests I have had. Thanks everyone. Hopefully I can be in a position to support others at some stage, once I'm through this.

[ksmith]

You don't need to have a stroke to go through this...everyone suffers anxiety at one time or many. I have found the facing your fears head on helps. Afraid to be alone...get a panic button. Can't relax...put that energy to work. Afraid to do something...do it and find out what you feared. Are you a tiger or a mouse? I have gotten through a tough life this way and I am still here.

well said

 

I am curious.. you said postpartum. Do you have any help with a little one

[Melanie]

Hi Kelli, I am usually well enough to look after my daughter, she is 20months. When it first happened it was hard, because I progressed down hill over months, weird!, and we didn't know what was wrong, docs originally just though it was inner ear. In the end I couldn't walk all that far, and do my normal stuff, looking back, don't know how I cared for her. But my dad would come and be with me, and my mum when she could. My deficits aren't bad now, as I slowly started to recover, after they eventually worked it out. I have little spots all over my brain on both sides. I am slowly getting better now, mdad comes and stays during the day, but this is more because of my anxiety now, its like I don't trust my body, once the dizziness and vertigo came back, cause that is how it all started. But I am slowly getting there, with counselling. And physically getting better again too. I think mine was not a typical stroke. Thanks for the reply, all helps me

[fking]

Melanie,

 

Question? I was wondering if you ever considered the effects your meds may be causing for the anxiety to still be present in your life since the strokes were so long ago?? It's great your dad comes by to give you a little help and maybe a break in caring for your little darling daughter.

 

Maybe it will go away after a bit more time and your mind stabilizes. As I said to you earlier in this thread I'm the lucky one who never had anxiety, thank God! But I know it shows up when you are under pressure to do and get things done your way!

[Melanie]

Hi Fred, I don't think the meds are causing my anxiety, but they may have caused the exacerbation of the symptoms, which has now lead to the anxiety. the neuro is very suspicious on the asprin, as I came of it and went to a different blood thinner. When I move around my vision kinda goes slightly out of focus, and if I keep doing this, I can get off balance, dizzy etc. Also fluero lights, and movement, I ended up with vertigo after watching m sons basketball game. And this scares me, I hadn't had the vertigo since the beginning, also pressure feelings on my head, maybe migraine. So I don't know if it is now a viscious cycle of stress exacerbating symptoms, then symptoms exacerbating stress. I was just reading up on something called sensory overload, I wonder! if this is what I am getting, the brain going a bit weird after too much stimulus. ?? Anyone else know of this?? Thanks for your support Fred

[Ethyl17]

Melanie: I do know that when Bruce has too much stimulus, he does shut down. Mainly when he is tired, so late afternoon is the key. It is easier for me to calm things, it is just Bruce and I. I can't imagine managing with children who must have your attention.

 

It is imperative that you have down time - reboot. Maybe you can nap when the baby does or ask Dad to take over for a hour and you really go to bed for a nap. And I mean quiet, dark. And if you find you are getting to critical mass, you need to walk away. Even at a ball game.

 

Maybe you are pushing too hard. Trying to get back into a pre-stroke routine too quickly. You do know you need to let that go. There is no going back. It might be time to focus on the kids, relax late afternoon commitments. Let the housework go for a bit. And ask Dad for down time or relief when you feel you are overwhelmed. Just some thoughts. Debbie

[ksmith]

This is the vertigo issues I have and IF you share some, it could be a step in the right direction for an explanation

http://vestibular.org/understanding-vestibular-disorder/symptoms

[Melanie]

Thanks Kelly and ethyl. Yes I do seem to have that vestibular issue. I wonder if physical therapy may help. Yes ethyl I do think indeed to slow down I am seeing a connection of tiredness and stress to my exacerbated symptoms.

[sulpicia]

I'm with you on wondering when anxiety will stop. Mine got much better after the first 6 months and had been well under control. I had to record a pod cast this week for class and had an anxiety attack because I was so self concious recording my voice. I have very minimal deficits and have been on lecturing in front of a class, but this just brought up all my old fears. I notice when I get at all behind on sleep or if I'm mentally fatigued, I am far more prone to anxiety and to speech issues.