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ksmith

talking on the phone or in person?

24 posts in this topic

I know we have talked about this topic many times before but I have just about basically told everyone i know unless i talk to you in person or face to face( face time) I will only text.  I hear my voice in a reverb and it throws me off plus as weird as this may sound, if I have to think what I want to sway and not just blab freely talk my Aphasia gets a lot worse....

 

Happen to you as well?

why-millennials-are-scared-of-talking-on

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Kelli I'm the same way I can carry on a conversation just free talking. But when it gets more directed or if I have to ask a question I have issues with aphasia. This has been on my husband's radar before and he asked why is it so hard to get it out now? When just 5 minutes ago you were talking just fine. I hate to say it ' I love you dear husband' but this is one of the reasons he asks about when questioning my deficits.  I get so upset and then just poof it's all over I can't get anything out.

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I hate talking on the phone -- always have. I would rather text or email because it gives me time to sort my thoughts and figure out what I want to say without interruption. I'm even worse now.

 

But I'm ok face-to-face.

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I'm the same Benni, nothing to do with the stroke I've always been that way.

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I think that a lot gets "lost in translation " talking on the phone. You can 't see the  other person 's body language, particularly their facial ex-pression and their eyes. I rely on these 2 things so much when I'm talking to someone. And, now the stroke-related problem is that hearing aides don't work too well with phones. Now, I REALLY don't like communicating by telephone!   Becky  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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You guys nailed it all by your comments 

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SAME HERE!  :tongue:

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I make every effort not to talk on the phone, it tends to bring out my aphasia and put my cognitive deficits on display. I deal much better in person.

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You said it Scott. Nothing like talking on the phone getting stuck saying the letter I 10 times and then foiling what does come out. The phone used to be my friend well it ran away with all the other friends. I don't like him anymore anyway!

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I was talking to my cable friend on the phone and he could hear me just fine. I told him despite what he said I hear myself slurry

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what Kelli said...i have to use the phone on speaker with NO distractions,but prefer e mail I read in the am when fresh then have time to respond

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Oh yeah, I also have to use the speakerphone so that my one usable hand is free for doing other things (like scratching that darn itch).

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I find a bluetooth headset deals very well with that problem Benni, could not manage in the office without it.  So often I need to be talking and taking notes or checking stuff on the computer at the same time.  The headset in one ear means I'm not annoying the whole office.  At home I use the speaker phone most of the time.

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I'll stick with the speakerphone. Thank you but as tech savvy as I am, I do not "get" bluetooth stuff.  :tongue:

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I find both phone and in person difficult, although the phone is more problematic. On the phone you have no visual clues. My other problem with both is that my brain does not process information as quickly as it did pre stroke. I prefer communication via email. That way my brain is focused on email. (With a phone call it often takes my brain several seconds -- or minutes? to focus on the conversation.) I also have time to think through my response.

 

Phone and in person has improved over time. Probably a good idea to practice on both..

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Sometimes when talking I cannot form or pronounce my words properly in person.  This doesn't happen much on the phone, but I rarely talk on the phone.  Not that many people call me.  I do prefer to text...only because I can sleep and text, but not fall asleep on the phone and talk. 

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On 1/18/2017 at 11:10 AM, lwisman said:

I find both phone and in person difficult, although the phone is more problematic. On the phone you have no visual clues. My other problem with both is that my brain does not process information as quickly as it did pre stroke. I prefer communication via email. That way my brain is focused on email. (With a phone call it often takes my brain several seconds -- or minutes? to focus on the conversation.) I also have time to think through my response.

 

Phone and in person has improved over time. Probably a good idea to practice on both..

BAM... well said 

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I agree with you all, Although I am improving with phone talk I'd much rather handle E-mail or texting, they give me time to think out replies! I can make myself understood quite well in conversation except when I get excited and then my voice becomes a Donald Duck impersonation. 

Deigh

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I have all medical people or people involved in social services phone my husband because he is better at communicating than I am. He deals with the practical stuff that I can't handle. Sometimes the doctors or social services send us letters instead. I have an easier time with that because I can read it as many times as I need to.

 

I e-mail because I can take my time formulating responses, save drafts and go back to it when I have the energy and then send off the mail. If I have to have a conversation I prefer either FaceTime or face to face because when I see the person's facial expressions and read their lips I find it easier to stay focused (I still have problems maintaining focus this way too). I used to love talking on the phone for hours before my stroke but I'm just not that person anymore. Those who are a part of my life accept that if they want contact they have to do it in a way that suits me. Sometimes if my phone rings I just don't even bother picking it up. It's a stress factor I just don't need to add to my everyday life. 

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Who -- I'm the same. Would rather write a response than answer the phone. I have time to gather my thoughts, articulate what I want to say, and to edit before sending.

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20 minutes ago, Benni said:

Who -- I'm the same. Would rather write a response than answer the phone. I have time to gather my thoughts, articulate what I want to say, and to edit before sending.

I know I tried talk to text and even the "Dragon headset" and they both advertise able to understand all types of speech.. well a simple How was your day.. turns into something about being gay... I try to read it and fix it but with my limited eye sight and fat fingers.. doesn't always work. Thank goodness my friends have been keeping up-to-date with their stroken'ses . :lol:

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I have dysarthria, which is a speech disorder, which makes me slur alll of my words, making it difficult to understand me at times. I  am also deaf in my lt ear,and have significant hearing loss in my rt. ear, and wear a hearing aid in  my rt ear. I seldom talk on the phone, unless it's someone who knows me, and my difficulties, well, or has at least talked to me face-to-face, and speaks "Becky" pretty well. I USUALLY ASK MY HUSBAND TO DO ALL OF THE NECESSARY PHONE CALLS, AND HE ACCOMPANIES ME TO ALL IMPORTANT APPOINTMENTS, EVEN TO MY EVERY-6-MO. MED REVIEWS BECAUSE i'M AFRAID i WON'T HEAR SOMETHING, AND HE SERVES AS MY TRANSLATOR. ALL OF THIS FOR THE SAME REASON YOU SAID- IT STRESSES me out too much. It's so frustrating to me, that if I answer the phone at all, it's to pass it to my husband. If he's not nearby,  i DON'T ANSWER IT. i SO GET WHAT YOU SAID.   Becky 

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I did not have dysarthria but when I came home from the hospital I had a strong fear of verbal communication in any form. Verbal communication by phone and in meetings is a critical responsibility in executing my job responsibilities. My primary issue was holding my breath when speaking. After years of practice, speaking exercises and using compensating techniques I am much improved. The phobia remains and I'm prone to lose my temper if the conversation does not go well. What I want most is to participate in conversations with my kids when we get together. When my adult daughters get on a roll, jumping into the conversation is like trying to walk across a freeway! I'm trying more and more but it's hard and I'm exhausted afterwards. I do find using a headset on conference calls at work to be very helpful.

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I stutter . Have my entire life and I just was getting it under control when I had my stroke. Talking in crowds is off limits for me. When I hear a voice louder than mine, I can't compete so I shut down. Going out to eat is the hardest for me. NO words come out and I feel like an idiot because I have to point or make grunting noises. ( i'm not as bothered anymore) So have a stutter and now have aphasia, dysarthria and palsy in vocal chords, I have little control with my volume of my voice. SO when I think I'm being soft and saying crude comments I'm actually very loud and vise versa.  The other day my mother and I were in the car and she handed me her cell phone to answer a call and I opened the phone case, and placed the phone to my ear and absolutely nothing came out . I couldn't even make a noise but my mom saw  I was struggling and pulled over and took the phone.

 

Fun fact::  Senator Susan Collins suffers with  Spasmodic dysphonia or better known as laryngeal dystonia:: is a disorder in which the muscles that generate a persons voice go into periods of spasm.This results in breaks or interruptions in the voice, often every few sentences, which can make a person difficult to understand. The person's voice may also sound strained or they may be nearly unable to speak. Often onset is gradual and the condition is lifelong.
The cause is unknown.
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spasmodic_dysphonia

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