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GreenQueen

Happy day vs bad day

10 posts in this topic

When I'm happy, I can joke on the site, give lighthearted replies and do my best to spread cheer.

On a bad day, I can't get out of my own way and try as I might, being upbeat and helpful are very difficult to do. To the point I don't respond. I don't want to make people feel worse.

Or is it better to answer, and tell it like it is?

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I think that is a valid question and I believe, you should tell it like it is. Many of the survivors on here have, possibly ,reached a point in their recovery that they are positive but not everybody has those days and showing how your days are different, gives an honest view in recovery. I think we all , me mostly, have to understand and realize that not everyone is at the same point in our stage of recovery and shouldn't stuff happiness down your throat. We have had this question asked many times and many times, i know I fail, some of us often forget that different strokes for different folks stands true as staying positive isn't for everyone so respect the bad day.  I know I am the worse at this for I have no memory of my life prior to stroke so I often see the world have full and what afflictions you may have as a result most definitely determines the view you may have. 

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That's a hard one to answer. Nothing wrong with telling it like it is, but if you know you're having a bad day, maybe put that in the response too.  so preface your answer with "I'm not feeling too positive today myself, but..."  We are your friends and we take you as you are each day, don't feel obliged to put on a brave front for us. There should be enough people feeling positive on any one day to balance your response out and seeing others struggling can actually give strength to someone else who's also doing it tough right now.  Trying to be other than you are doesn't help anyone, especially you.

Hugs

-Heather

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Janelle, I hope that no one comes to Strokenet expecting to be entertained. There's nothing wrong with humor, in fact, it can be quite healthy. More than  once, I've read something here that's evoked a LOL response from me.  But, I also think that if you're having a good day, it's wrong to give someone a totally unrealistic, positive, or optimistic response. Or, if having a bad day, to be overly negative in our responses. But, I don't want you,or anyone, to stay away because of how you feel.  It's just my opinion, but I'd like for you to do whatever feels best to you, but be aware that what kind of day you've had may color your responses.   Becky   

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Becky, you've hit the nail on the head.

"The type of day you've had may colour your response"

That's exactly what worries me.

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Kelli, I find your statement that you know nothing of your pre-stroke life rather staggering! Would you mind explaining more? Most victims seem to complain that their long term memory has survived but their short term one has been affected badly.

Deigh

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Janelle, when I read your post, I thought I should reply.  But after reading the posts written by Kelli, Heather and Becky, I really have nothing to add.  And it's so true that you're a good friend, we'll take you as you are!  Big Hug Please Smiley Face, Emoticon

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I believe the greatest gift we share is to be real authentic and transparent.

Sometimes though I help myself in sharing with a response when I want to answer with hope positive energy.

As my thouhts are my moods in my experience.

But I have to be real and say there are some days I best covering my head in bed.

But maybe some of my venting may be a helpful read I hope too or maybe just a selfish need for support on here that I am not afraid to ask for.

Life is not made up of all hot fudge sundays. somedays I need a hug and thankfully I always receive it here plus some inspiration to move forward.

Thanks.

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On 3/20/2017 at 7:49 PM, Deigh said:

Kelli, I find your statement that you know nothing of your pre-stroke life rather staggering! Would you mind explaining more? Most victims seem to complain that their long term memory has survived but their short term one has been affected badly.

Deigh

Deigh,  A couple of years ago I wondered about that as well.  But then I saw a movie called "The Man Who Lost Himself", about a man who had brain injury and didn't remember anything of his life.  He didn't know his wife and their small children, and although he could speak, he didn't know how to relate to them.  If you get the chance to see this movie, it's worth it!

For me, it was like you said, no short term memory.  Long term memory, I lost (not all, but significant periods in) the 1 year prior to my strokes.

I guess where your brain is injured determines what you lose!  images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRzheGHygvMrUj1vfzE_yR

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Thanks for reply, no don't think I'll watch the film, I need escapist movies not serious ones! I'm not sure about my short term memory, I know my wife and I have a lot of fun teasing each other about memory lapses but my memory has always been bad and I still have to read music for stuff I've played for 50 years!

Deigh

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