SassyBetsy

Slow talking

17 posts in this topic

I went to doc appointment and got so frustrated by my slow speech. I try and sort through thoughts and nothing comes out my mouth. So they stare at me. waiting. Ten all I can think of is "they are waiting" and I lose all other thoughts. This is awful. I want speech therapy to help me with this but it is not on their list. 

List. it helps me to make a list.read my notes. but when I must respond I am like struck numb headed. distracted by my own thoughts.

So yes this was me pre stroke talking like Dorie derailing forgetting the first topic. But now I am the enhamced version.

I was embarrassed.apologized for taking up time. also ignored it and forged on making up new topic. people finish for me. No! I say it is not that. then upset it takes me even more time to process a thought then a sentence or even just a word.

My new doc said I do not smile easily because of the stroke. what???on a first visit she assumes this because I chose not to smile. I was in serious mode all businezs. She said do I have problems with people because of my slow speech.

I even have problems with myself. I am feeling things that there is not a word for or is it I cannot find or recall it.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow do I relate to this! I do the exact same thing! I know exactly beforehand what i am going to say when I go to an appointment, I even write a list. Today doctors are quick in and out so I get stumbled up and don't read my list and get stuck and spatter and stutter my words out all while they sit and look at me waiting which makes it worse. People also try and finish my sentences and it isn't what I'm trying to say and I get even more frustrated which again makes it worse. I will be honest when I get like that I play the stroke card and it allows them to back up and me to get it out. This happens all the time not just at the Doctor. I'm great at speaking to someone...I'm not at answering or being put on the spot or feel evaluated or feel time pressed. I am reading your words and they just describe me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My doctor has come to understand that I am what she (and my daughter-in-law the NP) refer to as a complex patient. I have cognitive issues that make answering more than 1 question at a time very difficult. I have to think about my answer first or it might come out the equivalent of "I tandem do be do window make". She takes some extra time to let my brain find the answer and doesn't make me feel pressured, that allows us to interact well. A doctor who gets it - priceless.

Now if only the specialists could take a deep breath and slow down...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Pam (I've finally remembered your name!)

I understand your annoyance about speech problems.  In the first few years after my strokes, the doctors would insist that someone else had to be with me during my appointments.   I was 34 years old, thought of myself as an adult, and definitely didn't like being treated as a child.  At some point, I became able to think clearly, but I just couldn't verbally express anything.  Usually I didn't even know why I was there; the doctor would talk only to the person who was with me.  But things get easier as more time goes by; and you're so right that it is more difficult to find the right words when you're upset or worried.   Maybe doing deep breathing exercises before your appointments would help.  Also, you may want to write a note to your doctor requesting she be patient with you, because she's hindering your attempt to improve your speech if you find it embarrassing.  All the best,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pam, I have dysarthria, which makes my speech difficult to understand at times. So, while I don't have your problems communicating, I have others , and I so understand your frustration. When it comes to questions that you want to ask, I think that making a list is a good idea. Maybe if you practise them before your appt., it would help. For everything else, explain that your stroke has affected your ability to communicate, and ask doc if you can email your questions later, when you can process your questions. Good luck, Becky 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Me too, Pam.

What has made a difference for me is having two, (2) lists of questions and things I want to discuss; one for me and one for the doctor.  We go through them together.  

Susan 4885.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Susan I like your idea. I'm going to try this next time.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wow 2 lists so simple why didn't I think of that!It certainly would help pace the appt and maybe address some by phone or email or nurse. It seems we always run out of time at the pcp. Then others like my dermatologist take time.

Yes practicing them is a good idea. I have a problem running out of air during speeking. I would benefit by practice sound better less gravel voice. In therapy she says keep your voice forward lol and I say what is that?  so I have to be louder clearer.  They discharged me from speech. I get practice lol! But my new pcp is sending me back. I could have learned speaking techniques a long time ago.

Linnie you have come so far!! Yes once I did go with others because I cannot keep up with fast talking or cross talk or joking. So I needed someone to advocate too. But Yes so degrading for adult. And in the end I just go and deal with it. Thankfully my medical center now prints out summary of visit including instructions notes meds. They are online but I not use it because the summary and phone suit me. It feels better to go alone.

Scott do not feel bad I am a complex patient too. One really bad doc that my insuranceco pulled me from told me to my face that I am the kind of patient no one wants. Now I go to overall professional docs andan all is well except for here at the Home  who is a dufuss.

Thanks for all good sugestions for future appointments!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, SassyBetsy said:

Scott do not feel bad I am a complex patient too. One really bad doc that my insuranceco pulled me from told me to my face that I am the kind of patient no one wants. Now I go to overall professional docs andan all is well except for here at the Home  who is a dufuss.

As complex patients we can't be fixed with a Z-pack or other pill that a week later we are recovered. Instead we are the patients who make them face their own limitations and the god complex ones resent having their fallibility exposed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

oh boy you are right!!

When I lived at my home way back whenI had a pain doc that would huff around and insist pills woulnt help me but refused to try anything starting with oxy. She got angry and I felt she disliked me and I told her so and quit her.

But in nursing home they had to deal with my pain in living color nonstop like I do. Anything other than a shot looked tame so they gave me oxy and it helps. I think of all the suffering while I tried one after another that did not help. And they seemed to blame me!  or see me as weak and whining. or drug seeking. BTW I do not feel euphoric on these drugs now. I just feel less pain. my leg feels burny icy but not painfully.

Funny you say Z pak cuz I just finished real antibiotics for 10 days after a 3 day Z did nothing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You all have my sympathy. I am trying hard to improve my talking but obviously am not have the problems you are facing. My daily readings out loud and extra work whistling and even singing are paying off. My friends know not to finish off sentences for me and this is helpful. Trying to say anything if I am flustered can still come out sounding like nonsense. I have found a trick to overcome being looked at as an idiot if I am spotted talking out loud when walking. I hold a mobile phone to my ear and make like I'm talking on it. This is quite acceptable nowadays!

Deigh

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/23/2017 at 10:36 AM, scottm said:

As complex patients we can't be fixed with a Z-pack or other pill that a week later we are recovered. Instead we are the patients who make them face their own limitations and the god complex ones resent having their fallibility exposed.

BRAVO, Scott; WELL 'SAID'e337.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just went to my Psychiatrist today and he reminds me how lucky I am to have found a really great Doctor that really listens to me. He has helped my issues more than anyone has offered. He really wants to know how I am doing and researches to work on my medication plan. It has been trial and error but his focus is on how well the plan is working and is not afraid to make changes altogether if necessary. Pam I am truly sorry that you have been treated in the manner you wrote. No one deserves that kind of treatment...we really are humans for those that forget. It does make a difference that your home now had to deal with your pain everyday and not every appointment. It helps others to have to relate to you as a person. Sending hugs and blessings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello Pam, so sorry to read about your speech  troubles.  I love the way , you are not giving up that is the easy way. keep on fighting, you are a warrio.  After my stroke, I would think about what I want to say, but it would not come out. I am better, but sometimes I still can not get out what I want to say. Also have a problem if a Person talking to me, talks too fast, I get so 'lost', that I just look at them, thinking " I do not know what  you are saying, and do not care at what you are saying".   I  pray  that you get an understanding medical team. You deserve  that.

You are in my Prayers

Yvonne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would say stroke is like a dodecahedron. You know...lots of different sides? 

But I won't. 

Firstly because it's too damn hard to say and secondly because I'm pretty sure thereare more than 12 sides to a stroke!

 

Please please please please nobody take this the wrong way. 

Sometimes I read here and think

'Wow, I'm glad I don't have that problem,"

you know?

There are so many sides to stroke. Thankfully we all seem to not have all the problems. 

But this is also a problem,  is it not?

When someone says

"I know a guy who stroked and he can (insert problem) normally..."

That makes me feel bad. That I stroked wrong somehow. 

Hats off to you Pam...keep fighting the fight.

And if anyone gives you grief, send them to me.

I'll fight right along side you, and for you. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too often find myself looking at a talking head realizing I do not care what is said and I am told I do not smile much in conversations. No I am frowning in confusion. I click with others nonverbal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now