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I can only take it so long.....They call and say stuff about stuff and my mind is fine for the meat and potato but then they ramble......... and then say call back or call your Insurance or other difficult thing. Everything is like an obstacle course. Details derail me. I wonder why I am a middle man. I wonder why I keep a phone. I could live with getting messages here......but then nothing would get accomplished. I get frustrated so easily now. Is it pain or meds or general unhappiness not to be confused with depression. unhappiness is coming from outside of me. I wonder if changing me is truly easier than changing things outside. If only I did not want......fill in blank. Yet I do. not gonna change......

 

oh see my mind goes on a tangent here....

I have phone calls to make. By the time I finish the morning is gone.....hit this button that one finally  get person but not right department. I need a secretary but if you want something done right...

 

I cannot follow the words long. processing is a painful thing. looking around takes my energy. truly. I must recover from reading or even thinking. I mean for real. I feel stoopid! I need a nap to recharge after I get upset.

 

I was a go to person. I was a problem solver. a listener. Now nothing. a zero. I avoid stress but it chases me down. I cannot listen long or do it all. yet I keep trying.....I can like a quilt in pieces and stages. I am exhausted. I used to tolerate it more. I was challenged. Now I am overwhelmed.

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The main thing I don't like about phone calls is holding the phone.

 

My arm gets so sore holding it to my ear. I can't hold the phone to my ear with my right arm.

 

Thank goodness for the speaker. 

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Linnie, my lovely, maybe it's an Aussie thing, but I can imagine many people saying "nothin's wrong with ya!!!' 

Only because nothing is visual. 

That must be very difficult to deal with!

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Hi Betsy

 

It does get easier with time.  I've been through the same stuff recently (still do at times now).  However good I may be feeling or however much I think that I will remember because this is important and simple and just one thing, I write it down in a page-a-day diary.  I have several that I lug around with me, one for work, one for home, one for my wife (extra-VIP-status), one for stuff that I want to do.

 

I'll make time several times a day to go through my notes and update my calendar with things that have to happen on specific days or reminders about stuff.

 

It is frustrating and chews up time, but I'm getting used to it.  When I don't understand my notes, I find that people are not that surprised when I call them to say "we spoke earlier and I have a reminder by I don't understand what I wrote; can you please refresh me?".  Half the time _they_ don't remember either!  I think that we have tendency to romanticize just how good our memories were before the stroke, which is not to say that the deficits are not real and measurable.

 

My other strategy is to ask them to email me a summary off the conversation with any specific to-do items in a list with dates.  Most people that I deal with are pleasantly surprised by quite willing to do it, and even think that it is a good idea.  And this is without explaining about memory deficits.

 

When I talk to my disability insurers, I _always_ record the conversation (speakerphone & then record with a portable dictation thing), and let them know that I am recording.  Apart from helping my memory, it also stops some of the bullying as they try to persuade me that I am all better now and they can stop paying.

 

I feel for you (for all of us); it does suck, big time.  I just hope that some of these ideas help.

 

      Paul

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