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Please tell me if I am posting in the wrong place. I am still very confused by the new format and can't find my way to my own Blog. Ownership. When I first came home from the hospital three years ago, I was in a fog. I was overwhelmed by fatigue and pretty out of it.  I let others make decisions for me and guide  me because I just didn't care. I thought it was temporary. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted. I lost my identity, I lost my job, I lost my relationships, I lost my sense of worth, I lost my dreams, I lost my future, I lost my soul, I lost me. Slowly I have worked to regain those parts of me and I thought I was doing well.  Today it struck me that the house I have lived in for ten years is no longer mine. Physically it is. I still feel detached and disassociated from my surroundings. I feel like I am in someone else's house. Things are not where I would logically keep them, someone else does the food shopping, someone else does the laundry and they do it differently. They are in control. I do not know if I lost ownership or if I willingly gave it up. It's not my house and it's not my life. I am just so disassociated. About six months after my stroke I became so disassociated that I felt I was no longer part of the human species. That went away. Thank goodness. My big question is how do I get it back? How do I belong again? How do I feel whole again? Right side brain trauma. I get the cause but I don't get the fix. There are up days and down days. Just eat ice cream and forget it.

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Pearls, you will find your blog at:

 

 

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