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MyAmazingLinda

Informing elderly parents about dghtr in-law stroke

5 posts in this topic

After Linda, my wife's (46yo) stroke, I begin to contemplate if I should inform my elderly parents (her family has either passed or is not involved) who are in poor health and reside in an assisted living facility several hours away. The news would only produce grief, wondering if we will be able to assist them in the future and worrying about grandkids and me. While I don't relish piling on more negative information, I hate to lie when asked how we are and making excuses why we don't drive to see them. 

I suspect that until such improvement occurs that travel is possible again, it may be some time before we can make the 5.5 hour drive.

Should I tell them, beginning with the "I have some sad news" approach or is it best to not volunteer the info? There is little/no chance for them to find out any other way.

Thanks for your shared wisdom

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My instinct is let them know, if you say nothing but your habits change that will cause more stress than telling them.

 

Rather than saying "sad news" ( which implies a death) I'd say "Linda has had a health crisis, but is on the mend" when they ask how you all are. you can then add whatever details they ask for and that you feel comfortable sharing.

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Hi Gregg, I agree with Heather.   You've been through a lot over the past few days, and perhaps you're overwhelmed.  

 

If you don't mention it to your parents, one of your children may be caught off guard when they call.  If you tell them yourself that your wife had a stroke, that recovery looks good but may take some time, you've got good support, etc., they'll be comfortable with knowing that you can't visit them for a while, but their daughter-in-law will be ok.

 

I think it's safe to say that parents are tougher than we think!  :smile:

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23 hours ago, heathber said:

My instinct is let them know, if you say nothing but your habits change that will cause more stress than telling them.

 

Rather than saying "sad news" ( which implies a death) I'd say "Linda has had a health crisis, but is on the mend" when they ask how you all are. you can then add whatever details they ask for and that you feel comfortable sharing.

I to agree with Heather .. Just share the news and share that she is doing better and so far you are good but if anything should change, either in your life or hers, you'll call. Be strong for Linda and your family 

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I agree with Heather :

 

you should let your parents know, you will get great support from your family by doing that.

 

Asha

 

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