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JLB411

Newbie here...

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Just wanted to say hi and introduce myself. I am a 33 year old female that suffered a small 2mm ischemic stroke on July 3, 2017. At first they thought it was just a TIA and few days and tests later found out it was an actual stroke due to a high grade stenosis in my mid cerebral artery on my right side. Having health anxiety before this happened I obviously am aware of all little body sensations so of course I am driving myself nuts thinking everything like after affect is another stroke. My neurologist told me that the tingling in fingers, feet, legs, etc are going to be there, the dizziness is something that usually happens too... It sucks just now knowing this is my life. I know there are people that have it way worse then I did and that I should be thankful but I am still so down and depressed that I have to worry about this and can't just allow myself to get past it and enjoy life with my 18 month old daughter. Anyways sorry for the extra vent but wanted to introduce myself and say thanks for the approval :)

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Hi, knowing others have it worse than you does not help you feel better about your situation. Just remember none of us (including you) asked for this, crap happens and you have to deal with it.  Anxiety and fear of another event are pretty normal after a stroke, try not to dwell on it. If you had anxiety before your stroke hopefully you already have a psychiatrist/psychologist you trust that can work on this with you. Remember you've had a brain injury so lots of things and how you react to them can be changed by that as well as physical stuff.

 

Give yourself permission to grieve for the old you for a little while. Then pick yourself up and get on with life.  Life after stroke can be extremely enjoyable and full. Just remember that if you don't do things the same way others do or the way you used to that's not important, everyone is different, that's why life is interesting. In some ways you are lucky your daughter is so young, as she'll only really know the new you.  As I'm sure you've already been told, recovery from this thing takes years not months so don't be too hard on yourself, you're just starting out.

 

You can do this!

-Heather

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Hello and welcome

Are you at home and how is that going, remember have a good support team as that will help you in the long run.

Read, read and read some more and don't hesitate to ask questions, your just getting started.

I look forward to reading your post

Ed

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Hi, first, it will get better.  The acceptance of having a stroke was the hardest thing I have ever done.  One day your fine and the next your world is turned upside down.  All strokes are different so I can not tell your recovery path but I can tell you that you are on a recovery path.  

Second, things I can recommend.  Therapy ( as much as you can get), exercise, rest, meditation, faith, support group and psychiatry help.

Third, I see you live in Connecticut. I run a support group in the Danbury area, are you anywhere near me?

Stay Strong and my thoughts will be with you.  Tom

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Welcome!   You've come to the right place for info, help, ask questions, or just vent!

This site has been a god-send for me, hope it is for you, too.

 

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Hi and welcome to StrokeNet.  Can you tell us what caused the stroke?

 

As Heather said in a post above, anxiety and depression are quite common after a stroke.  Since you experienced health anxiety pre-stroke as well, I agree that you may want to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist about this concern.

 

And no need to apologize for venting.  Since we've all been through this, the members here are very caring and compassionate; we "get" you.   We're here for you to lean on.  Don't hesitate to ask any questions or vent again.

 

Looking forward to reading your posts.  All the best, 

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I'm with you. I was tearful and depressed a lot after my TIAs, but now I am hopeful and getting better. I have a plan to get to the highest level of recovery in a year.

Wish it could be sooner, but it is what it is. This is a great place to vent so feel free! 

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19 hours ago, JLB411 said:

 Having health anxiety before this happened I obviously am aware of all little body sensations so of course I am driving myself nuts thinking everything like after affect is another stroke. My neurologist told me that the tingling in fingers, feet, legs, etc are going to be there, the dizziness is something that usually happens too..

I was 34 when I had my stroke (as a result of a chiropractic manipulation)  so I can understand the age thing. I had a lot of tingling and that turned out that some feeling and movement was returning to my right side. Dizziness is a big thing for me. I feel dizzy a lot of the time but over time the dizziness has been more tolerable. It hasn't gone away, but some people it has, and for me it does make certain situations worse like sensory overload. ( lights, noise, crowds, weather..to name a few) 

 

19 hours ago, JLB411 said:

 It sucks just now knowing this is my life. 

I thought this way a lot. You are only in the first few months of recovery. As people has said before;' All strokes Aren't the same' so all recovery isn't the same. One important piece of recovery is your mind set. If you stay in the " my life sucks" well.. it will. I know many people do have it worse and when you and I ( others as well) look at the other side of what we have, it does make it does make us feel not that bad. Well what is happening to us is bad regardless.  You can't look at today and stand firm in your stance of my life is like this for I was not able to move my right side and over time, with hard work and the stick of life , I gained 90% back from day one. I sill have PLENTY wrong even after 8 years but that doesn't mean you will have. 

The majority of my issues are 'invisible' so looking at me you'd never know I had a stroke but I have a laundry list of issues.

19 hours ago, JLB411 said:

 I have to worry about this and can't just allow myself to get past it and enjoy life with my 18 month old daughter.

This is a great post about grief. There is no time limit about when you get through each stage or order.  It took me almost 8 years to accept my stroke but I still struggle everyday ( I have a huge memory problem)

So take it day by day. Be healthy, happy and great mommy. There may be times you are exhausted and that is totally normal. Never think you aren't a good mom because of the stroke.  Children are stronger then we think and she is young enough to only 1.think this as normal life 2 she is to young to understand. Take care of yourself and do the best you can but don't try to hard.  Listen you your body

 

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Hi, JLB411. Welcome to SN! Sorry you have a reason to be here, but glad you found us! You'll get a lot  from this site. There's  this message 

board, blogging, chats, and lots of things to provide you with info about stroke. No apology needed for venting as it's also one of the things we're here for.

Things will improve- you'll see. You'll have to work at it  long  and hard, but things will get better. Maybe not a 100%, or fast, but you'll see improvements. And when she grows up, and can understand, I bet your daughter will be proud of her mom for never giving up. Good luck, Becky.

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Thank you everyone for your responses... I think a lot of the "poor me" is cause I had the health anxiety before hand but honestly I think everyone is right I need to focus on what I have and what I can do instead of the negative or else I will always stay in the negative mindset... Fingers crossed and day to day :)

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On ‎10‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 8:21 AM, Linnie said:

Hi and welcome to StrokeNet.  Can you tell us what caused the stroke?

 

As Heather said in a post above, anxiety and depression are quite common after a stroke.  Since you experienced health anxiety pre-stroke as well, I agree that you may want to talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist about this concern.

 

And no need to apologize for venting.  Since we've all been through this, the members here are very caring and compassionate; we "get" you.   We're here for you to lean on.  Don't hesitate to ask any questions or vent again.

 

Looking forward to reading your posts.  All the best, 

My stroke was caused by a narrowing in one of the blood vessels in my mid cerebral artery... They think I was born with this narrowing and over time it got worse to almost closed and that is what cause my Ischemic stroke... I had recent scan and it is almost 100% closed but was told by neurologist that I have great collateral blood flow so other vessels are picking up the slack so he thinks all is stable... 

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On ‎10‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 6:55 AM, Gerard55 said:

Hi, first, it will get better.  The acceptance of having a stroke was the hardest thing I have ever done.  One day your fine and the next your world is turned upside down.  All strokes are different so I can not tell your recovery path but I can tell you that you are on a recovery path.  

Second, things I can recommend.  Therapy ( as much as you can get), exercise, rest, meditation, faith, support group and psychiatry help.

Third, I see you live in Connecticut. I run a support group in the Danbury area, are you anywhere near me?

Stay Strong and my thoughts will be with you.  Tom

Hey! I actually do I live in Stamford and have yet to find any support groups around here... Would love to meet and talk with others in the same situation 

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Don't apologize for feeling down or needing help.  You had a major trauma, not surprisingly that you feel miserable.  It doesn't matter how much worse anyone else' stroke is, any stroke is bad enough that you can justifiably mourn your losses.  Give yourself time; I know that after more than 18 months I still don't *really* believe that I had a stroke, and I still get mad at myself for forgetting things and for getting tired easily.

 

Cut yourself some slack, talk to people, both here (which is a wonderful place) and in real life.  Enlist family, friends and colleagues to help, even if it's only little things -- my children know to remind me quite obsessively about anything that I need to do, because I have major memory issues.  They started off skirting around it, but now seem to enjoy being my memory.  Your daughter is a bit young for that :-), but there will be others helping to fill those gaps.

 

The trick is to allow yourself enough "poor me" moments that you don't feel like you are being martyred, but not to make it a habit.  

 

You have a whole new circle of friends here, make use of it.

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Hi, thanks for responding to my question.  Also, very glad that you're putting effort into thinking positively...It really does help in your recovery!

 

:hug: to you and your daughter.

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Thank you! I am trying to be more positive its hard cause I always used to be a negative person and this happened and didn't change my attitude but honestly I should use this to change my attitude and know that things can be taken away at any chance... so try to be more happy and positive. :)

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