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emotional troubles

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I posted this to Facebook and asked some in our stroke chat group and got a back good responses but I wanted to ask you : 


In my local stroke group meeting , I was able to talk to another couple there and the wife needed to vent:


Wife ( we'll call her Tammy)

Husband ( we'll call him John)



Tammy turned to the meeting leader ( speech pathologist In re hospital) and myself and shared she was asking how to get on a schedule for they have 2 children and she is a realtor as well as home schools the kids and all she asks is to have some help. So I explained to both Tammy and John the (https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory spoon theory and she understood but I couldn't really explain to her how I feel with can't getting out of bed. I'm going to a Caregivers support meeting soon so I may try to gain even more understanding.


Tammy said she is perfectly happy with him staying in bed for the morning but wishes he would help out some more. John gets up and goes to WaWa ( convenient store)  and stays there for a few hours, also going to his old job to talk for a while then re returns and needs to take a nap. Again, she understands his stroke and the damage in his brain. Also from the huge scar on the side of his head. She loves him dearly and one of the things that drew them together was reading the bible together. 


John, on the other hand, shows some of the same emotional problem that I have which is a disconnect. He often tells Tammy that he understands he isn't the guy she married. That breaks her heart and I, personally, understand for on the outside he looks like the same guy. Mentally he is different as I appear to be to others .


I explained my lowest point  when my ex-husband got called to work and asked me to please come up to his house to help Johnny get up and out to school. I got really upset for all I thought was 'why do I have to watch his son'...HE'S MY SON TO. But that goes to my disconnect and why at a moments notice I will fly to Florida to see my oldest son to keep him in the forefront of my memories.


Tammy kinda thinks its sorta the same and doesn't know why do.


Has anything like this ever happened , or known of, to you?

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