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Blessed2behere

Hello from Newbie Pam aka Blessed2behere

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Ditto Heather! My kitty has been HUGE in my recovery and everyday life.

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> just beginning to understand... that surviving this far is something. Maybe I was feeling a little guilty

 

For what it is worth I'm still having difficulty dealing with guilt and understanding that just surviving is quite remarkable (and I had a comparatively mild stroke).  

 

Accepting that you are disabled is not easy, especially when the disability is invisible.  (I had something really clever and pithy that I was going to add here, but I forgot what it was while I wrote the previous sentence :-)).  Friends and family want you to be better.  You want you to be better.  So you get lots and lots of positive messages ("you are doing so well"), and every failure comes as a surprise and a shock ("but I thought that that was OK now").

 

I hope that things get easier and easier for you.  For all of us.  And we have each other.

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21 hours ago, SassyBetsy said:

very Gorgeous

Thank you Pam she is my baby. 😘

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On 5/1/2018 at 11:21 AM, SassyBetsy said:

chose Sassy Betsy because I love Betsy Johnson purses and accessories,except for skulls stuff, yuckk. I had a bunch to choose from, and loved the roses stuff.

Me too! Love Betsy Johnson. I have a cute little spring bag with a cute bow on it..not a fan of the skulls either..! Love 💕 🌹 too!

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On 5/3/2018 at 7:38 PM, tmciriani said:

Ditto Heather! My kitty has been HUGE in my recovery and everyday life.

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I feel happy just seeing your beautiful kitty..my fantasy is too get a kitten and puppy at the same time.I have always have both..and they were always good to each other...and me! Beautiful!Beautiful 🐱 kitty!

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On 5/1/2018 at 2:58 PM, achandra said:

hi Pam :

 

welcome to best online stroke support group, I remember how lost I  felt for 9 months even after having very supportive spouse & family. now that you found us you will never feel alone again. stroke recovery is indeed marathon & not a sprint. I stroked at age 34 which left me paralyzed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved. I never thought I would find joy in living again. but having young son at home & this site helped me pick up pieces of my life & make beautiful mosaic again. life after stroke is just different not good or bad just different. I found chatting with other survivors & blogging on this site very therapeutic for my soul. today after 14+ years on this post stroke journey, I feel stroke as just speed bump which allowed me to slow down & enjoy scenery along the way.

 

Asha

 

Hi Asha! I’m so happy to meet you. I’m deeply moved and inspired by your message.Finding the group has lifted my spirits just in the few days I've been here...I no longer feel so isolated or frustrated that people around me don’t understand.. I finally realize that I’m not alone...I love what you said.. “I feel stroke as just a speed bump which allowed me to slow own & enjoy scenery along the way.” Thank you...

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I like that idea Pam! It reminds me of 20-25 years ago when I was first married. We had a female cat and I bought a baby Shitzu. It took w week of furry arguments until my kitty adopted our little puppy. She groomed her every day and they slept together and she was super protective of her puppy. It was the same even when Chloe (the puppy) grew up to be twice my cat's size. LOL she still wrestled her to the ground and cleaned all over every day.😋

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I also wanted to say thank you to both Pam's for the kitty compliments. She is a bit of a ham and likes to pose! 😄

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On 5/1/2018 at 2:59 PM, Deigh said:

Hi  Blessed2behere  That was an incredible description of your stroke and the time leading up to it. We have similarities as to being totally aware of everything but completely unable to communicate. Fortunately the people surrounding us in hospital had previous experience of our problem and were able to fill in the gaps, but there is nothing so good as being able to discuss problems with others who have actually suffered them. Only on a forum like this can it be achieved.

Welcome.

Deigh 

Thank you Deigh for the welcome. Yes, we were blessed to be surrounded by people with previous experience...in my case I’m also grateful that my city has a stroke protocol and well trained first responders! It had not occurred to me that a group like this even existed...I’m so happy to have found you all.

Thank you,

Pam

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On 4/29/2018 at 9:53 PM, heathber said:

It is such a large piece of most peoples post stroke puzzle but the medical experts all seem to forget to tell us to expect it.  I also recommend you familiarise yourself with "spoon theory"  You no longer have an infinite supply of "spoons" . https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

 

Hi Heather..I just read "The Spoon-Theory" article! Thank you again for everything..and for thinking to share this with me. Wow..it explains "it"... this recovery/coping process so well.  I hadn't yet had a chance to tell my husband about finding and being thrown a lifeline by all of you at StrokeNet. I did this morning. I asked him to read my Newbie introduction. He said he didn't think I fully realize how impaired I was. I told him I thought I was answering and speaking to the EMT's. He shook his head and said...sounds were coming out..and that my whole left side was..unable to do anything.  Everytime I face that reality, it makes me sad. I don't know why?   Maybe I just wanted to skip that part and get to where I am now. But, I suppose I can't be where I am now, if I wasn't there first? (Wow..big thoughts on a Sunday morning;-)) Anyway, I don't feel as alone with you guys out there. And, I feel great relief knowing that my husband knows I have new friends. I get a little sad that I can't just pick up the phone and meet at the park with a couple of friends who dropped me.. but I understand I need to show up at the park and do what I used to do. I think getting a new pup will be huge..I can't wait. Until then, I need to go on more walks (or my first walk)? Thank you again from Pam:hug:

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On 4/30/2018 at 11:28 PM, tmciriani said:

All I can say is wow...talk about life stress. It is a fact that stress is a huge factor in stroke. I am so glad you guys managed to make it through and healing began. That stroke haze seemed to last a long time for me as well. You've done a wonderful job of recall and word placement! 😊 I like hearing you speak of positive things you are feeling in response to posts...I am sure we all feel good helping when we can. Baby steps...that's what you have to do sometimes and I know I have started just that way many times and positive results followed. I totally relate to "working up to leaving the house". I remember being there...for a pretty long while...but today I do so much more now out of the house. I visit my family and my daughter, go on a short grocery shop each week, the rare but occasional out to eat, and in the past 4 months have joined a local stroke group (I call it socializing). Little by little I have found my courage and readiness to venture beyond my house and I am so sure you will too. Hugs.

Hi Tracy.. Getting out of the house is huge for me. I do go to the doctor and beauty salon. Previously, I would have run errands stopped Walgreens  or  Home Depot to just browse. Now, I can't wait to get home... No, make that I'm desperate to get home!  So, Friday, I went to WalMart after an appointment. At first I was so excited, shopping from my list and finding new things..proud that I was "out and about"! I spoke to sales people, and greeted strangers.. But, I stayed too long. Boom, I didn't make the turn with my cart. Nothing down? Okay, oops, didn't judge how close I was passing that lady..I started to panic...and made my way to check out, where, hopefully, I could do no harm. Still, over-all I was happy to be out.. at a place where all the things I've been ordering online are in great supply;-) and immediately available. I enjoyed the experience of seeing the colors of "seasonal" summer merchandise! I remembered that I used to be the "I love to shop" girl.  Oh well, good memories. Any way, you inspired me to try... thank you, from pam:hi:

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Welcome Pam to this fantastic site. 

Reading your introduction was so detailed. I believe that when it comes to the feelings that most stroke survivors feel, after a stroke, is just a piece of the same fabric that connects us together.  It doesn’t matter the severity of ones stroke that determines what emotions we have or don’t experience, it spreads its “emotional hug” to everyone equally.  Yes, depending on what was damaged our feelings maybe harsher but we still have struggles. Like you, and others, I don’t look like I had a stroke however when I begin talking and my Aphasia starts hiding my words, it begins to become evident.  You are among friends and we all understand the feelings you have. Welcome and, on a secondary note, I’m quite envious of your ability to articulate your thoughts so well.  :) 

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Hi Pam, WalMart sounds very scary, maybe start a little smaller :shy: Mind you as I always say you don't know what you can't do until you try.  just remember it's too much right now, but that doesn't mean its too much forever. It was a learning experience. You got out there and did stuff, next time you'll do a little more or maybe a little less and feel more in control.

 

Hugs and good on you for for pushing boundaries

-Heather

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Pam, You might be feeling a little overwhelmed by all of our comments/advice. That's truly not our intention. Many of the things that we're telling you, we found out ourselves by experiencing them first-hand. And then we come to Strokenet, and find out we're not alone, that others have experienced the same, and have even found a solution! Such is the case with your Walmart experience. There is a thing called "sensory overload". This can happen when you are exposed to different sensory experiences at once, and your stroked brain can't handle it, It's just too much for one's brain to cope with, coming at it all at once. It can cause one to feel tired, confused, or anxious. Walmart is a perfect example with its' many bright lights, sounds of people talking, someone's on the intercom, a child is screaming, music playing somewhere, all of the different colors, the different smells, etc. A couple of members here found a partial solution which helped them a lot-EARPLUGS! Maybe they'll help you, too. Good luck. Becky   

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On 5/4/2018 at 9:05 PM, tmciriani said:

I also wanted to say thank you to both Pam's for the kitty compliments. She is a bit of a ham and likes to pose! 😄

Yes, she does. I love kity’s too. She is gorgeous!

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Hi Pam,  welcome to our group.  Everyone here tries to help each other.  Sometimes is doesn't always come across that way, but please be patient.  We will all help each other out.  We have all suffered diffreently and recovering at different rates.  I pray that your recovery if faster than normal.  Just remember PT is really important, do it everyday and you will find yourself improving.

 

I had to start by learning how to take a step backwards, stand on tip toes and heels.  Very difficult.  I lucked out in that I didn't have any paralysis, but I am very weak but getting stronger.  And as someone said above Stroke Fatigue is a real thing.   It used to hit me every other day, now only 1 or 2 times a week.  Woohoo!

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