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Hogarth

A question for survivurs

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It's been about two and a half years since my "very large" (as the doctor told my wife) stroke and I am told that I am still in the process of recovering.  I have noticed improvements, slow and sure to some degree.  I must be doing better recently because my attitude is changing somewhat and I have actually been thinking some positive things!  Like some other thoughts I have had since my stroke I recently had a thought that I could never have imagined thinking earlier.  My question for the group is this - since your stroke, have you ever thought that you have actually gained something as a result, and if so, what is it?  I would love to hear about any such positive things that members may have gained.  Thanks.

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I've gained perspective on what is important and what isn't so much, as a result I'm much more mellow and pragmatic.

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Same here Scott. I gained an appreciation for the little things or even natural things. I can watch leaves blowing in the wind now and I find appreciation...a spark of happy and wow. I feel that I have out of necessity learned some workable organization....something I have not always had and something I never thought about as a positive...I just didn't think about it. I gained a much deeper appreciation for my family. My kitty is my soul...She truly loves me unconditionally. I have gained the appreciation of quiet...something I felt was inconvenient in a busy life. I am learning an appreciation for my choices and that I have choices as well as how a choice can directly affect my anxiety, my calm, my outcomes, the way I perceive things, etc. It certainly sucks...bad. Right now I have had a super increase in anxiety and anxiety attacks...Makes me exhausted, afraid, depressed, on edge. But the things I have gained are truly apparent...things I may not have taken the time or the importance to recognize.

 

Edit:  I still have a lot of issues and deficits and I don't know if or when they may get better. I am 3 years post now. I am learning acceptance and it helps me to work on coping better. So I would say that many of the gains for me in the past 2 years have been emotional or learning better adjustment/acceptance which improves everything for me. It's hard to convince a 42 year old that learning to cope is acceptable and perfection or getting fixed is not always the realistic result. I'm 46 now

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On ‎8‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 11:01 AM, scottm said:

I've gained perspective on what is important and what isn't so much, as a result I'm much more mellow and pragmatic.

exactly and well said. I've often said it's the 'step back and smell the roses" , appreciate all the things that when you were involved in your own world ( work) and now able to look around and see all the cogs in your life that help maintains it .

 

It's been 9+ years for me and I'm still seeing things around me that I've gained a great appreciation for  

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I have to say what many others have mentioned. I appreciate things I can do even though I do them differently than I used to but the fact is I feel good about being here and being with my kids and husband.i can’t imagine how hard their lives would have been if I had not made it.

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Patience with myself and others. I had to learn how to be more patient with myself, and when I learned, it spread to being more patient with others, I think. In other words, it wasn't a conscious process. But, I still need some work in this area.   Becky

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I gained knowledge that I can take whatever comes and an increase in faith.

I have accepted mortality. This is temporary. I appreciate what I was allowed to keep. Some stroke survivors I know are blind. I have useable sight and other things. 

I love.

 

I am the challenge now for others to be compassionate and listen and grant dignity to.  Lol. I try not to keep score. 

 

I enjoy nature more than ever. 

I miss what I had. I loved my life.

I died on that day although I lived nothing has ever been normal.  Most notice that. I am now a pity. I learned to deal.

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Thanks to all of you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.  I have always felt that there was more to existence than this mortal human life, though I am not religious.  I suppose "spiritual" would be a more accurate description.  I have had to deal with quite a bit of adversity in my life but I won't go into that here.  I got by reasonably well despite a good deal of adversity to overcome.  I did not get married until I was 50 years old.  That was because I did not want to, or need to and I was able to cope quite well on my own.  I was fortunate to be gifted with a strong, tall, not too hard to look at body and a very intelligent mind.  I am a member of Mensa, if that means anything to you.  I am extremely thankful that I found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with when I did, just a few years before my stroke, which disabled me and took those things that allowed me to survive, even thrive despite difficult circumstances of my life.  The stroke took those qualities that allowed me to get by for most of my life.  I am no longer young, or a 'hunk' or a bunch of other things.  I have come to believe that this has happened to me to teach me something.  I have been getting by due to those qualities but also missing a lot.  I am now face with a new life without those gifts.  I need to cope and learn new things and new ways.

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Hogarth I relate. It has happened to me many times even before my stroke. When I was in high school I was very popular, made great grades, didn't have to work hard, knew that my popularity, looks, and situation gave me power. I was used to getting what I wanted pretty easily. The first time I experienced coming off the throne which was painful was college. I just didn't count as much in my mind. I had to work a bit harder, I realized being used due to my nature and personal qualities. I had much less "power". A wake up call...hello. I have had several periods of wake up calls but I won't bore you with them here. I have come to a current realization that I am not powerless, I can do good things with meaning, I am content with how my heart feels about the world...good or bad...and I have a healthy sense of me...I have a positive heart and I love others. I have a desire to gift strength and a heart to feel compassion.

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yes all fluff!!!! who needs it when we still rock being glam and sassy!!!!

Yep hardest days but look around at the life going on that we almost missed!

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