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GreenQueen

Which would you rather?

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At my MIL’s for tea the other night, and my daughter asked us all a random question:

 

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

 

As soon as she said it, she was so upset with herself and felt it was a terrible thing to ask, given the circumstances.

 

I have right sided hemiparesis, although these days my arm and hand are almost totally useless.

 

I told her, from my point of view, I’d rather lose a leg. I could use a wheelchair, and I’d still be able to type, hold a book, cut things up, open jars.....on and on the list goes. I feel I’d be more independent.

 

Which would you rather lose?

 

Anyone, please, feel free to answer. I’m also very interested to know what other hemi people have to say in regards to this.

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I have asked myself that so many times. Many times for my issues are 'in my head'. I'm dizzy and fall a lot and no one can see my dizziness or bouncing world, from my nystagmus. I have often wondered, 'what if' something else happened in place of what I have or if I lost the use of my arm and had my memory but I have come to peace with what happened. In the beginning I questioned that all the time. Like most of us, survivors, we have cheated death and I'm grateful but in the back of my mind ………..I wonder sometimes. It has taught me to be stronger for I know before my stroke when I would see someone parking in the disables parking place that didn't look disabled, I would be so angry but I think of my and you can't see. Now some people are NOT but using someone's car.. I know I have my plaque is registered to me and I have my registration to prove it. :) 

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Hi Janelle I understand your response but when it came to the crunch I chose to lose the arm and not the leg. I work a lot harder at getting my leg to behave more normally, and just do enough to not get any worse with my arm. I do sometimes wonder how much of that "choice" was that the leg responded to my efforts so much quicker and better than my arm did.

Overall a wheelchair is much more limiting to "normal" life than not being able to use both hands to carry things etc.

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Janelle, I'm with you on this one! My arm/hand is still useless, also. I'd love to have full use back.

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 I'm the lucky one I can do most anything after the stroke but to be honest the stroke took something  else from me.......  it took my stamina, I get physically tired or work up a sweat if the wind blows and sad thing is my family thinks I am embellishing my stroke, how do you get them to understand that's my big question. I just want to be a fraction of my former self.............:sorry: to be honest it *beep* me off I don't feel much like a man or a father :grrrrr: but what are the alternatives  :terrified:

 

My answer if I were to loose the use of an arm or a leg......that's simple take the leg you can walk around on crutches or a wheelchair but take an arm...... have you ever tried to get dressed with one arm or eat or hundreds of other things we take for granted.

 

Ed

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7 hours ago, edkel1 said:

have you ever tried to get dressed with one arm or eat or hundreds of other things we take for granted.

Ed I do this everyday and have been doing it for 8 years now. It's not that bad once you work out how. I would not swap a dead arm for a dead leg no matter how much I miss "real" cooking, and being able to wrap parcels nicely.

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heathber....... I wish there was something that could be done to help you out, I am so sorry this is your new life  :blushing:

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Ed there's no need to feel sorry for me. 95% of what I want to do I do, just not as cleanly/elegantly as I used to and the things I have to ask for help with are not that major in the big scheme of things, and I've got people to ask who are happy to help (or good at hiding it if they aren't)

 

The leg is getting better all the time, I WILL run properly again eventually, and I'm walking well enough now to go out in the bush on my own when the mood takes me.

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Heather, Wayne and I are going down to the Coalseam in Mingenew on Sunday. Gorgeous if anyone wants to google it.

I’m a little worried how I’ll go.

When we went out to Kojarena 12 months ago, it was a nightmare.

 

I’m so glad you are able to go Bush and enjoy. It’s part of who we are.

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Janelle that sounds glorious, just take your time and you'll be fine, although if it's sandy soil it can be super hard work. you're there to see the flowers so stand still and enjoy what you can see then walk a little and do it again. Also 12 month ago was 12 months ago, you have probably improved in that time without necessarily noticing. I feel like I went backwards during my illness earlier this year but then on Thursday a work colleague commented on how much better my walking looked, and that afternoon the Physio said nearly the same thing, so don't compare this trip to last trip until you've done it.

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True, Heather. I really don’t notice any changes, but people around me do.

 

Every man and his dog was at the Coalseam.

 

That’s an expression. It means the place was extremely crowded. Unfortunately no dogs allowed.

 

It was simply breathtaking. We’ve had a bumper season in WA, and the wildflowers were perfect.

 

I didn’t go down to the river, but it was so relaxing, sitting under a tree eating lamingtons. Oh wow! Lamingtons! True! We do eat them, just not with vegemite. Jam and cream, if anything , but they are deluxe on their own.

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In the south here in US especially spring through summer...we like to lounge on our covered porches or patios with a cold glass of sweet tea chattering with our friends or family. Or even a day of swimming in the creek and wading in the shallows. Boating is also big here where I am. I grew up a river rat ( we were at the river every weekend) boating, enjoying the views and hanging with our friends, barbecue or shrimp boils or grilling a big steak or a fish fry. I miss it. Go every once in a while but boating can make me dizzy sometimes. I used to water ski and rope swing into the river...those are definitely out lol. What was this post about...I am not sure (looking up). Wow, I am way off. I suppose an arm...my world is filled with steps. I have not experienced losing feeling or the use of any of my limbs (thank you Lord) I know most of you will have much more thought about this question. Although, if I lost a limb after having the stroke I had (cerebellar) maybe sitting more would be less dizzy than standing. Ok, I'm not sure.

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Definitely a tough one to answer Tracy.

My balance has been non existent today. If I had have asked this question today, it possibly would have been losing an arm.

Not Having balance is no fun.

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This question keeps popping back into my head for some reason.  My conclusion is that while the arm is useful, the leg means independence. and I'll take independence over elegance any day. 

 

Janelle I hope your balance is back soon.

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This is something I have thought about a few times too. Today I think legs, I really need my legs. I hope you feel better soon too. Being/feeling dizzy is no laughing matter.

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7Asking this of a person with CPS gets tricky. with pain or without.

As long as no pain is involved .....can I trade.....

 

 

I hear "At least you are not paralyzed" dozens quadzillions of times that I want to make a t shirt that says I would rather be paralyzed.

But of course not. I am grateful for independence which is freedom. But I hurt. so much. and the solution to pain includes many things that do or do not  make you sick or do not, and make you groggy sleepy and forgetful or functional. maybe and.

Is it getting tricky yet. just writing it out is making it clearer about the choices but wait a minute for answer

 

 

One day. has not passed pain free. since stroke day. 

And I am constantly asked what pain level is tolerable to you....what pain level can you live with.......WTHAYDAY?

 

Questions like that were for board games.

 

Can a rational person answer these things making pros and con lists tallying up losses and gains. In normal converstio

 

Let me see....what can I lose without losing my job my life my beautiful home and car.

 

Then there is my eye problems. balance stuff.

 

But again the blessing. At least I can still see. I take that one without argument.

 

Would I keep my painful leg over a paralyzed one? 

I cannot answer. It is a conundrum.

 

Without pain I would be drug free once again and have mind back. I could cut it off and get artificial one for walking.

 

There is not really a substitute for a hand. But is 2 just a luxury. but it takes 2 legs to walk. but there are scooters.

 

I cannot get them to allow me those with vision probs.even with 2 eyes.

 

I guess For Me I will rely on a saying I once read that stated if five men wrote down their affliction on a stone and put it in a fire to trade with the others, each man happily took back their own stone.

 

Could this possibly be true for me?

Guess I am none too wise.

 

 

 

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Pam I bet you get sick of being asked pain level 1-10.

10 probably seems like a dream these days...

I don't have CPS. Sure I have days where my hip is sore or something, but it only lasts a few hours.  And it's sore, not painful.  Totally different. 

Having a useless hand and bad leg...we can adjust our way of using them.

No adjustment for that kind of pain.

I hate to agree with you Pam, but I too, take bad hand over pain.

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.Pam I think of you all the time. You are a real voice for many who suffer with CPS I think. I have been blessed to know you and look forward to your posts all the time. :shy: I really can hear what you are saying and it very much makes this a difficult question to answer when you include what a stroke can do period. I bet many of us who do have deficits have been so thankful for what that stupid stroke didn't take. I think you are amazing, inspirational, and a blessing. I am always hoping today is a "good" day for you. LOL every time I see Betsy Johnson in a store I think of you. Janelle I feel the same way. Pam bless you for your strength and may you find better and better treatment.

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tell you what...you can have an arm and a leg....for my brain and soul back

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That sounds like a fair trade Phil!  I'm so glad my brain still functions largely as it used to.

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Oh my brain...

I have become really bad at adding and subtracting. 

I tell people that the 'maths' part of my brain doesn't work any more!

 

Phil, I think I agree.  I'd much rather be able to talk properly and not forget things...the brain wins every time. 

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SassyBetsy I just noticed that you and I had our strokes on the very same day.  By the way I would give my leg up for having full use of my arm again. I used to play guitar and it was my way of relaxing. I now play bass because it's easier to play one handed. But you can only play so much without a strumming hand.

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Maddogx, Did you see my design for a plectrum on this forum some time ago? Designing this has made all the difference for me, I can now play again. With a lot less speed and dexterity than before true, but at least I can handle it!.

Deighpost-19426-0-77415700-1486452437_thumb.png

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Deigh!  I think your invention is awesome!  Anything to get back to what we love.  "Necessity is the mother of invention" and all that jazz....  I love the way that you just went out and made something to make living life after stroke more enjoyable..... A standing ovation to your perseverance!  

 

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