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Tonight I have severe vertigo. Like the through up king. Blood sugar 115...BP 128/82. Had all med. Some headache. Ear pain. 🙁So nausea. I hate these moments. Scared me.

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Tracy

I am truly sorry but this is our new life, hang in there it beats the alternative.............. or does it    :@#*%:happy happy Joy Joy

Talk to you soon

Ed

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Thinking of you Tracy and big hugs...hope this lot isn’t around for long.

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Feeling better today but still in bed relaxing. I'm extra tired so am not pushing it today. Yesterday was more than I thought...waking up late and getting to my brother's estate sale late. Just being at the estate sale for my brother who passed. The house, the things. It was cold. My toes were purple...I wore slip ons with fluffies that go across the top but truthfully are just sandles. 👡 I went to tjmaxx and bought a pair of sneakers and socks. I ate dinner later than usual. I had to replace my makeshift car cover I made to keep tree sap off of my car... ridiculously difficult. I'm just going to blame feeling unwell on the day.

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Tracy, Just an FYI in case you need it: I have had inner ear ( and other ear infections) all of my life. None recently, THANK GOD. Inner ear infections can occur with/without pain, and the only sign may be dizziness (vertigo). The vertigo causes nausea.  If you still have tomorrow, may want to see your doc.   Becky

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Becky, excellent point. 

Maybe worth (yet another) visit to your doc.

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Hi

Welcome to my FUNHOUSE!

I take meds for dizzy and vertigo. I wear prism glasses for my visual stuff.

I use an eye patch sometimes.

 

So I know what stress and just being in new place can do. I pray others will help by realizing I live in that house tilted sideways with funky mirrors. 

Good socks. Hope th= knew shoes are fun.

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I was taught to control my eye stability to stop dizziness.you turn your head right and left while holding your gaze on some object straight ahead. slowly move the head to each side,if you have trouble holding the eyes stable, you need practice,it gets better and easier,i couldnt do it at first, especially up and down...

If you have an ipad, you can download a gaze stability app...Focus...that helps a lot .

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Thanks everyone for all the supportive comments! I think part of the yucky feeling is due to anxiety about my disability hearing Thursday. Wish me luck!! 🙌🙌🙌🙏🙏🙏🤗🤗🤗

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luck an prayer!

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Good luck!  Make sure that they know that you'll fight them all the way if they try to do anything stupid.  And that we'll fight with you.

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I am so super humbled and so so blessed to say that my lawyer thinks I won my disability claim. He says we still have to wait for the letter but the vocational specialist said there was no employable position for me in the general area due to my limitations. No employable position! I somehow managed to barely keep it together in the hearing room but completely lost it right outside the door. I'm still recuperating, slept all day yesterday and until 11 today. Awake right now for a little bit but my bed is calling my name. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and my personal cheering section. It has meant the world to me. Thank you Lord!

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That is great to hear Tracy. The disability I mean, not the vertigo, that is one of the most miserable feelings there is.

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Thanks Scott...thankfully the vertigo has not been a big factor in the last couple of days. Honestly, I think my building anxiety about the hearing had a lot to do with it.

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As usual "everything's connected". glad to hear that the hearing has gone well for you.

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I was just wondering if this was connected to that.

 

Hopefully the vertigo will disappear now...

 

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I'm glad that the hearing went well.  You have my sympathy -- hearing an expert spell out that you are broken in some significant way ("unemployable") is a huge shock.  I still battle with accepting this on a regular basis.

 

Fights with insurers are the worst.  I had them at very regular intervals for the first couple of years, and we kept making the point that the stress and demoralization of undergoing batteries of tests and being forced to face the deficits (rather than what was actually working) was quite counter-productive.  Fortunately we never ended up in court.

 

Holding thumbs while you want for the letter.  Please let us know when it comes.

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On 10/30/2018 at 7:27 PM, PaulNash said:

I

 

Holding thumbs while you want for the letter.  Please let us know when it comes.

Absolutely Tracy...can't wait for the good news!

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I will share as soon as I hear no matter what. Paul I very much understand your thoughts. This is bittersweet, it's been a 3 year struggle to come this far with it. Well about 2.5 years. I waited and didn't apply right away like everyone else I knew. I just knew that the "before" Tracy was coming back. It took me just over a year to have the notion to ask my PT if I was doing this to get better or just to compensate where I need it most. I suppose because I seemed to only go so far and that day she tried something really hard with me. I was having a panic attack during this particular therapy. My PT looked at, like no one ever asks that, and she said "You have gotten a lot better. Yes some of what we do will help you cope and compensate for some deficits." She never really gave me a direct answer and it was at that moment that I knew. I was so upset once I got to speech therapy. My ST said "Oh my gosh, are you ok? Today will be just a day for you no therapy. Sit down, please tell me what happened to upset you like this." I completely lost it, right there in her office. My life was forever changed...I just didn't know it. It was my first step to accepting me. It was a baby step. I missed and mourned the old me so much. That day I began to accept my truths...not give up but to accept the moment. A few months later I applied. It was a huge step. It has been very hard the last 2.5 years. I still struggle internally a lot. Some days I don't as much. This will be a new chapter. One I am finally getting to write. I am actually thinking ahead for the first time. Looking forward to something...and yes it is scary. But I am doing it anyway. I know I will learn something. I pray anyway. Ok I am like all emotional now lol. My message is that I understand how you feel and what you say. Thanks friend. 🙂

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Hi Tracy

 

Sounds like you have come a long way, and are probably way ahead of me.  Congratulations on turning that page and facing the future head-on.  It's a really really brave thing to do.  I'm not quite there yet, but you are an inspiration, and your story helps me on that path.  You are an amazing person!  (Well, I guess that we all are in our own special ways, to survive what we have survived and to cope in the various ways that we do)

 

Thank you.

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Paul I couldn't have said that ending better myself. If I have figured out anything it's that this "acceptance" thing is a long timeline and different for everyone. It also shifts, you get further and then sometimes you go backwards and have to work your way back. Other times things come along faster and you realize it. I don't think there is any right or wrong way or any specific timeline. It does change though. One day you will be more aware of this and still other days not so much. Thank you for your kind words. If I want anything right now it is to share something that may help to inspire someone else. Remember that feeling...I am so alone? I know I do. Don't get me wrong lol I am now totally anti-social but I never want to feel that alone ever again. If I can be someone that fills the alone for someone...then I'm fulfilling what I hope to be to another. Paul I am philosophical can you tell? 😁

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Tracy I agree that acceptance is difficult. One day I totally accept what’s happening, and even an hour later, usually after I’ve struggled with something, I’m taking two steps back.

 

Very much looking forward to the day when my steps are only forward.

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Janelle me too. But I also have moments where I don't feel like I ever will. For me accepting the now is different from day to day but I will always keep faith.

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:you-rock: Congrats! you must feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of your shoulders! You jumped through their hoops of fire and won! Now, take a deep breath, and relax! It's over. It's finally over.   Becky

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Becky we rock!!! I am breathing, releasing the pressure and thinking of possibilities. Nothing is written in stone yet until the decision is made as record. So I am allowing myself to breathe and feel good vibes. This will be life changing for me. A HUGE stepping stone. Thank all of you for helping me see positive things for the past 2.5 years. I'm so grateful to have all of the support I have received. The day I receive absolution I will share with all of you!!!

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