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Hi All,

I am having issues with anger .....I seem to loose my patience and I tend to speak my mind fast....I tend to lash out without realizing what I am saying and feelings tend to get hurt....My Husband is very understanding and supportive and he sometime gives me a signal to let me know ....he does this in the cutest ways ....without hurting anyone's feelings....I mentioned it to my Dr....and He has said that they will all have to understand .....he refuses to put me on medication to stop me from hurting anyone's feelings.....My Husband family are so good with understanding, but people who do not know me I am scared that I may get myself in trouble or worst .....I might end up with my teeth kicked in for speaking my mind....that being said I stay home to avoid getting into trouble ....I am fine if I am with a family member you nudges me to keep me in line!......I looking for any advice I can get without been medicated .....are they other survivors out there with issues like mine!

Thank You!

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Yes. it is a very tricky problem. My wife often accidentally drops noisy things and I jump up and curse. She gets very annoyed with this complaining that she is not doing it on purpose. Yesterday we had big heart-to-heart about it and I had to explain that that is the way I deal with a shock and the abuse is not directed at her specifically. I think she understands this now. 

My cursing is very tame, mainly D@MN! and at the worst B@@@@R! but it is explosive and the anger is dissolved instantly!

Deigh 

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The thing that sets me off since my stroke is the ice dispenser on the fridge. The sound of the ice falling triggers me instantly. Everyone has learned to let me know before they start if I am in the kitchen.

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Yes! It's that filter that we all have that weakens after a stroke. It usually will happen to me if I get truly angry, startled, caught off guard. LOL I can curse way better during those moments...without stuttering. This reaction comes from a different place in the brain so it can be quite fluent. I don't mean to be rude or intentionally want to hurt another's feelings. I have blurted (shut up! That's stupid! S&$t, d$@n, and yes even the f word. LOL all in one sentence a few times. If I am communicating with another person I have had to excuse myself when I feel that heat rising on my face. I have embarrassed myself a multitude of times. Thankfully, my family forgives me and sorta overlooks those moments and I have been apologetic to others and explain why and I haven't come across someone who doesn't accept that. I'm grateful!

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Tracy hit the nail on the head, I think. Your filter isn't working! We all have a filter that stops us from saying things that are not appropriate at certain times or places. It filters what we say, and to whom we say it, when. You wouldn't tell an off-color joke to your preacher because your filter says "not to". Since your filter isn't working, you will have to be your own filter for a while until it starts working again. Before you say anything to anyone, try this: As you inhale, think the word "and", and as you exhale, "one"; inhale, think "and", exhale, "two"-and do this until you reach "10". Do you still have a desire to speak? Are you calmer now?  If not, count to 10 again. You can do this as many times as you want. Or, instead of saying anything, excuse yourself to get a drink of water, go to the restroom, or take a walk-whatever is convenient for you. The object here is to put you back in control of what you say, and when you say it. Hope this helps.Becky

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My filter has become superhuman it would seem.

These days I am very very aware of how I talk to people and what I say.

Funny how we are all different with our deficits. 

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