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I had my stroke 2/4/19. I was trying to get to work. I couldn't brush my hair or teeth or tie my shoes. I went to the ER and was diagnosed with a stroke. That's when my life changed.

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Hi Shorty and welcome to the stroke net.

 

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Hi Shorty,

 

Welcome to the club.   It's a home-from-home. where you can vent, cry, discuss.  We have been through (and are going through) what you are going through.  We understand, we care, and we want to help each other.

 

Dig through the forums, ask questions, make yourself at home.

 

      paul

 

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Thanks so much. I was feeling very alone and very misunderstood.

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Hi Shorty...very nice to meet you. I hope you have been able to find some good forums to read. Please feel free to jump right in and post or start a new question or idea. There is also a gallery for pics, a blog area where you can make your own blog, there are hosted chat hours (the schedule may or may not be under changes... Basically there is chat M-F 3-4pm EST and M-F 8-9pm EST. I think all chats except Friday night (held in the Coffee Shop) is held in Stroke Survivor Chat Room #2), there are member stories, lots of supportive information and a great group of fellow members. I really felt like you said you feel... Very alone and very misunderstood. The good news is that here you will find so many who relate and who do understand. I just told my local stroke group last Thursday that it amazes me how stroke survivors have a kind of unspoken automatic understanding of each other. We are glad you found this site! Everyone here is super friendly and please let anyone know if you have a question or need help. 🙂

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Thank you. That made me cry. Which is another issue. I'm triple emotional which I don't understand. Ugh. This is so difficult and extremely frustrating. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear sometimes. I will share more later when I feel comfortable. But I'm getting what I was seeking, understanding and support.

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HI Shorty nice to meet you. Although none of us are pleased that you had a stroke. That bit of this sucks. But so glad you have found us. It makes a huge difference having people to "talk" to who get it. 

-Heather

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You are right. And I'm starting to feel better mentally. My doctor said now I have depression and anxiety. Ugh

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The crying is normal too and may have nothing to do with depression. One of the things that gets hit for many stroke people is the emotional control circuits.  If you're up to it research "Emotional Lability" and/or Pseudo Bulbar Effect it's so common it has 2 names depending on what part of the world you live in.

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Thank you. I am in Jacksonville Florida. And feel extremely alone. Nobody and I mean nobody understands me. I'm crying again. Ugh

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Shorty, You are very new to the stroke recovery journey, and you are in the ride of your life, for your life. The journey will be long, and full of surprises, but you can do this. And we will be with you every step of the way, supporting you, and cheering you on.   Becky      

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Shorty, Welcome to the club that no-one really wants to join! In my early days I would burst into tears for any reason good or bad. Extremely embarrassing for a man! It took quite a while before this got under control and even nowadays I have to take care with  my conversations so as not to fall into a trap. On the other hand I laugh a lot more too!

Deigh

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Shorty, I do have PBA (most people get a lot better with the emotional part just call me weird 😜haha). PBA is Pseudobulbar Affect or Emotional Lability or Emotional Flooding or Emotional Diarrhea (jk). It is very common early side effect for many people after a stroke. Men and women alike. Just like Heather said overly emotional may not always be contributed to Depression/Anxiety. BTW I had a very rare stroke in the cerebellum and I am left with several issues including serious anxiety. Anxiety is also very common after a stroke but for most this improves over time as well. Depression after stroke is also something many survivors struggle with at any time after a stroke. Be really blunt and to the point with your doctors they will help you through these struggles. Also know you are not alone. Many survivors that I know through the internet as well as in person have or may be struggling right now with depression. One thing I shared recently is something I do that miraculously helps me (with anxiety for sure). It's called the GLAD METHOD. G=gratitude L=learned A=accomplished D=delight. Get a simple spiral or a pretty journal however you want... Pick it up for about 5 minutes a day. At the end of your day is easiest I think. What I do is write G- and after I answer What am I grateful for today? The great thing is you can use just one word if you want ex. Sunshine, Ice Cream, Nap, etc. Or you can write whatever you like in a phrase or sentence (do what you feel like you want to do that day...neuro fatigue is real). L- What did I learn today? Again anything you write is good. A- What did I accomplish today? Ex. Bath, Washed Hair, I watered my flowers, again anything. D- What was I delighted by today? Ex. My Kitty, The Squirrels playing, The movie I watched. These are just examples. As easy or as long as you want that day. Just keep making time to do this every day. It's magic happens all on its' own. 😊 Hugs...no judgements here. This is a safe place to share your emotions, thoughts, ideas, vents, rants, or even to cry.

https://www.pbainfo.org/about-pba

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I second Becky... This is a journey. Time is your friend. This journey takes time and we are right here cheering you on. :happy:

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All of you are wonderful people. This is what I need. Support. I like the journal idea. If I can make my hand write long enough. I'm back at work full time and my boss is great. My fatigue is horrible right now. I nap at break and lunch. I can't help it. I don't understand my body anymore. Ugh. I never sleep a full night. The stroke scared me to death. I appreciate everyone's comments.

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8 hours ago, PaulNash said:

Hi Shorty,

 

Welcome to the club.   It's a home-from-home. where you can vent, cry, discuss.  We have been through (and are going through) what you are going through.  We understand, we care, and we want to help each other.

 

Dig through the forums, ask questions, make yourself at home.

 

      paul

 

 

6 hours ago, HostTracy said:

Hi Shorty...very nice to meet you. I hope you have been able to find some good forums to read. Please feel free to jump right in and post or start a new question or idea. There is also a gallery for pics, a blog area where you can make your own blog, there are hosted chat hours (the schedule may or may not be under changes... Basically there is chat M-F 3-4pm EST and M-F 8-9pm EST. I think all chats except Friday night (held in the Coffee Shop) is held in Stroke Survivor Chat Room #2), there are member stories, lots of supportive information and a great group of fellow members. I really felt like you said you feel... Very alone and very misunderstood. The good news is that here you will find so many who relate and who do understand. I just told my local stroke group last Thursday that it amazes me how stroke survivors have a kind of unspoken automatic understanding of each other. We are glad you found this site! Everyone here is super friendly and please let anyone know if you have a question or need help. 🙂

 

5 hours ago, heathber said:

The crying is normal too and may have nothing to do with depression. One of the things that gets hit for many stroke people is the emotional control circuits.  If you're up to it research "Emotional Lability" and/or Pseudo Bulbar Effect it's so common it has 2 names depending on what part of the world you live in.

 

4 hours ago, becky1 said:

Shorty, You are very new to the stroke recovery journey, and you are in the ride of your life, for your life. The journey will be long, and full of surprises, but you can do this. And we will be with you every step of the way, supporting you, and cheering you on.   Becky      

 

2 hours ago, HostTracy said:

I second Becky... This is a journey. Time is your friend. This journey takes time and we are right here cheering you on. :happy:

 

2 hours ago, Deigh said:

Shorty, Welcome to the club that no-one really wants to join! In my early days I would burst into tears for any reason good or bad. Extremely embarrassing for a man! It took quite a while before this got under control and even nowadays I have to take care with  my conversations so as not to fall into a trap. On the other hand I laugh a lot more too!

Deigh

Thanks Deigh. I'm not at the laughing stage yet. Nothing is funny to me. 

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Shorty some of the laughing is at ourselves, suddenly you realise how silly you look doing something or you involuntarily "throw" something on the floor. and once you've cleaned it up you sit there on the floor laughing hysterically. Don't be surprised at anything your brain does post stoke. It's an amazing thing.  Also please be careful with the fatigue and going back to work. Your brain takes more than a month just for the physical healing. The fatigue is REAL and needs to be listened to. Your deficits and difficulties will be worse when you are tired.  Talk to your therapy team, don't try to go straight back to what you used to do. You would not expect a broken bone to heal in a couple of weeks. a part of your brain is broken and it will affect all sorts of things in all sorts of ways probably for many years if not for the rest of your life.  Yes the pressure to return to work ASAP is also real but pushing too hard too fast can cause all sorts of issues, so if you can try to cut your hours back for a while.  This thing will have a major effect on your life. taking the time to heal and learn about the new you is good if it can be managed.

Heather

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I completely agree but I didn't have a choice. My job couldn't extend the leave of absence and being without pay was killing me. I have car payments and everything else. I do live chat at work so it isn't hard. But the fatigue is really getting to me. I lost my apartment and now live with my sister which isn't fun. I owe 8k in hospital bills. It doesn't end there. That's just the beginning. Which is why I'm seeking a support group. I'm at the end of my rope. 

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Welcome Shorty

None of us ever dreamed we would become members of this club but it sure does help knowing we are not alone, ask questions no matter how silly they may seam.

I have found most Dr's don't have a clue to what or how our lives have changed and as far as depression and anxiety, the only person that know's that will be you, as far as owing the hospital try and not worry about it, tell them to hold there horses and to contact your insurance. 

Fatigue is common and a way of your body and brain healing so when you hit that wall relax and take a nap, it does help.

I still get to a point after 2.5 years and hit that wall and i'm done. Just take one day at a time and hopefully things will get better.

The best advise I got was from Steve, he started this board was to apply for SSDI as soon as possible and get the ball rolling because every stroke is different and affects people differently, have your Dr's fill out the paperwork completely so there is less of a chance of you being denied.

Remember read and ask lots of questions.

Ed

   

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Thanks so much. I'm trying one day at a time. This just happened so I know it takes time. But I miss me. I have completely changed. I appreciate the support and understanding.

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My heart goes out to your every word. I have felt all of these at one point or another. I am also on SSDI but the pressure from some really very close to me to get up and do it was very strong. I couldn't. One of the hardest parts for me was missing the me I had always known. Again time will be your friend. 

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Finally some understanding. What a relief. That itself is therapy. I will post again. I didn't share it all. Thank you!!

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You are very welcome. 🙂

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Shorty, Disability takes a while to process, an average of 90 days. If you are denied ( and an awful lot of people's first application is denied), you can reapply, but you may have to wait another 90 days.  3-6mos. is a long time to wait for something when you need an answer NOW. So why not apply now, as kind of a back-up plan if you can't work? In 3 to 6 mos., you'll know for certain whether or not you can work. Good  luck, Becky

                  

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Shorty you hit so many nails on the head.

 

Depression, crying, being misunderstood...

 

Girl, you are so in the right place!

 

No question is too silly to ask, no vent is wrong.

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