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My mom had a major right-brain stroke at the end of June. We were lucky in that they got her to the ER quickly, and the TPA shot broke up the clot. She is out of rehab and home, without any major physical symptoms. Cognitively, it's a different story. I'm trying to help my 82-year-old dad with her care and their finances. It's been challenging. I'm looking forward to talking with everyone and gaining some insight on how to best help my parents moving forward.

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Nice to meet you Leia, give her a few months before you write her off cognitively. Even with TPA there is some brain damage, that will take time to heal, she may well improve.  Usually 3 - 6 months healing is needed physically before you can be sure things are not going to suddenly change, longer when you're older.  Mind you the older you are the less you bounce back from something like this, a simple thing like a fever is enough to trigger dementia if you are already vulnerable. 

 

Always, The best way to help is to ask what they want you to do, and then do as you're asked (If that is step back and let me make a mess of it, let them make a mess of it!).  For many people the loss of independence and life control is more troubling than than any physical loss.

If you can keep in mind their life values you won't go too far wrong.  But it's worth having the conversation with your Dad now about his understanding of what your Mum would want and also what he wants going forward. I've just done this with my family as I've just setup my "Advance Care Directive"/ I think in the US you call this a living will.

 

All the best

-Heather

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Hello Leia 

So glad you found us.

You are amazing, helping care for your mum and reaching out to caregivers, so you can do the best job possible. 

 

It's ok to vent, give advice and ask for advice. 

 

No question is a silly question. 

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I'm sure that our caregivers have some great ideas for you to try. Ask them here or at Caregiver's chat.

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Thank you so much for the welcome and advice. She ended up getting a pretty severe case of pneumonia about a week after the stroke, so I'm sure that didn't help matters. I know we have a long road ahead of us. I'm by no means writing her off, but I do see the changes and the challenges. Her younger sister has Dementia, and so did two of her aunts so I believe she is vulnerable. I'm glad to have found such a wonderful supportive place.

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