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Greetings all,

 

I had my strokes back in 2018 but it seems that they still effect my mood and outlook on life. I am currently the technology director of a rural school system and feel down most of the Time.  

I had 2 strokes one at my office 2nd at the hospital the second stroke took away my left side functionality for a few weeks. I still can't type fast like I used to with my left hand. No physical therapy for typing available. I feel like my tech skills have declined to the point I need to find something more my speed.  Since I had my strokes at the young age of 38 which im 40 now, after which I was diagnosed with a rare cancer at the end of my bile duct where I had the major surgery called the Whipple procedure, where im still on chemotherapy and the dr dosent know if the treatments can kill the lingering cancer cells floating around in. my body. I feel like my life is at a crossroads where it has completely crashed. Im sorry to unload my problems to all of you but I have nowhere else to turn.

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Hello there! No apologies necessary as this is the place to unload. Its a place where you share a common bond of understanding. We all have different experiences but we are all stroke survivors. I hope you visit often and find support here. Thank you for sharing your story. Ishare a similar issue with typing. I worked in the tech business also and am now unable to type with my left hand. My stroke was 5 years ago and I am still poking along as a one handed typer. I keep trying each day to type with both hands and havent given up hope! Wishing you the best and I am happy you are here! Michelle

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Unload away, my friend. 

Happy to share the load.

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yes unload. Stroke wise- your age was in your favor But i;m sorry to hear about the latter

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I led a s/w development team before nd code. My stoke was June 2019. My recovery goes well but I still mis key all the time and find my programming skills have reduced considerably, THe loses can be depressing , it helped to gripe to others who understood -join us on a chat.

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Kev you made me laugh with the word mis key!

Here, at the moment, it's a word my kids use when someone has done something wrong, accidentally. 

 

Like my daughter Carrah dropped a spoon, so Connor (my son) said Mis Key.

 

Okey dokey then. 😂

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Hi, and welcome to the stroke community. I'll think you'll find that you're in good company and my guess is that they're are quite a few here that have secondary health issues as yourself. Many here, to include myself have those good and bad days, and talking about them and sharing your feelings is totally acceptable, and encouraged.  

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hi broken techie :

 

welcome to wonderful online stroke support group, now that you found us you will never feel alone or different. I stroked at age 34 which left me paralyzed on my left side & retired me from the job I loved, for me more than stroke retiring from job was big blow to me, I never knew how much of my identity was wrapped in the work I did & money I made, suddenly I felt worthless, luckily having supportive spouse & young kid who was just 7 at the time  & my family, friends & this site, I found my joy back, today after 16 years on this post stroke journey, i realize my life is just different  not good or bad its just different. I found blogging on this site & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul . we do have scheduled chats every day in the afternoon from 3-4 EST in stroke support room #2 & in the evening from 8-9 PM EST on M,W & F. friday we have chats in the coffeshop in the evening though M,W its in survivor room #2. hope to see you there soon.

 

Asha (now 50 year old survivor)

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Hi Brokentechie

 

I also do IT work, stroked 4 years ago now (IIRC), but in my early 60's.  Stroke has had a significant impact on the type of work that I can do, so I have shifted to doing a *lot* of cabling work (I have terminated so many network cables in my life that I can do it with both eyes shut and both hands tied behind my back, never mind a trivial matter like a brain injury :-)).  My various customers know that I have to take copious notes when I work, and that I am much slower than I was.  Some of then actually find this comforting (especially the note-taking part).

 

One thing that *has* helped me enormously is outsourcing stuff that I am no longer comfortable with, and refusing work that I can no longer do.

 

I guess that over time you'll find what you are good at and what your "sweet spot" is.

 

OTOH, a lawyer whom I met (similar stroke to mine) has dropped law entirely and now focuses on music performances, which used to be a hobby of his.  He seems to be happier than he was before his stoke, as he is following his passion rather than his bank balance.

 

Any yes, it does suck.  We all understand that, and are here to hear you.  I'm not that good at the touchy-feely stuff (I'm an engineer, after all :-)), but others here are.

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Welcome! This group is great to unload on and share the ups and downs of life as it is today. I suffered my stroke in 2003 and am pretty much completely recovered now (lucky me!) but I found this group after my 44 year old son suffered a massive stroke in October that left him in a coma. He is now beginning to come out of it with his eyes open for longer periods of time so we are hoping he will continue his gradual improvement. Good luck to you. It WILL get better!

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....techie, I don't like calling you "broken".I much prefer to say "mending". BECAUSE AT ONLY 2 YRS. OUT THAT IS WHAT you're doing.You're still mending. You still have deficits from the stroke and your brain is still trying to heal. So given your relatively young age, and the fact that you've already seen alot of progress, it is likely that you will experience even more progress. Many of us here had to give up their jobs because the stroke impacted their ability to perform their duties. I was one of those people. It was a bitter pill to swallow because I loved my job  and the people that   

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HI Techie, I doubt that I could code much now. It was never my favourite part of the job. I can and do follow others code for debugging etc. I too found that memory and scanning issues post stroke meant that the design and implementation work was too much for me I've moved sideways into project administration as my background is very useful for keeping the engineers on track etc.  However with practice a lot of my skills have returned (I've been back in the office now for nearly 8 years). Don't give up too soon, but do look for workarounds and outsourcing opportunities where you can.  As Becky said you are still mending, this thing takes years and persistence. Yes you may never get back to where you were, but try to embrace the change and roll with it. Life is about change.

Hang in there and don't beat yourself up

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I could not fulfill even the basic responsibilities such as driving. So I had no choice but to take an early retirement. I was 50. It's been 13yrs. now, and I still miss it.  I understand what you're going through, and I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY. But as I was thinking about your situation last night, it occurred to me that now you have another beast to slay.  The only solution may be to let your job go so that you can reduce the amount of stress in your life. Fighting 2 beasts at once has to make you feel as if you're chasing your own tail. Talk to the folks at your local Vocational Rehab office to seeif they can help you with the job situation.Do you have any Disability at work? FMLA? maybe you went back to work too soon after your stroke and your brain needs more healing time. 

Well that's all of the ideas that I COULD COME UP WITH.Good luck, Becky

(I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS HAPPENED, BUT BELONGS WITH MY POST ABOVE HEATHER'S)

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