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We all have anniversaries in our lives. Some are happy, like when our parents, children or friends celebrate birthdays or wedding anniversaries or when we do so ourselves. But some are sad like the yearly commemorative events to remember parents, grandparents, siblings or our partners after their death.

 

This year I am going to one of the spots I used to go to with my husband Ray to remember the 8th year since his death. We often picnicked by the Lake and during his last year's at home this was our favourite walk as it has a great footpath for those pushing a wheelchair. He never tired of watching the ducks and other waterfowl along that lake edge.

 

How do you deal with death anniversaries?

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Since my father passed 7 months after my stroke, I generally visit the grave site on the day he and now mother are interred.  Do some reflection of the good and memorable moment and spruce up the grave stone marker.

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This is a tricky thing for me. My cousin passed away while I was in the rehab after my stroke.  Through out my recovery I've had two grandmothers and a grandfather pass. They are all buried in a lovely place near me. BUT.. I barely have memories with them. Though I'd known them my entire life. So basically it's like it never happened. So although I've dealt with death, I can't really say. My family have all been cremated and put it into our family plot , mainly for genealogy ( my family is in to that). But we all also believe they aren't really there anymore. It might sound insensitive but we believe their souls are somewhere happy and with us. We are filled with love and good memories ( and going there is just not the same.:oh: (( I hope that doesn't upset anyone)) This is just how my family thinks

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 I believe the dead's souls have moved on when they pass and they indeed are around me in spirit. My wife's brother who was my age died in June and the day of the wake when we were turning in for the evening April looked out the window facing the backyard and there was a deer standing in the middle of the yard looking at us about 50' away. So yes after almost 40 years on this two and a half acres I have seen deer but never one in the middle of the yard before. Hello Milt. We will miss you. Thanks for the visit! 

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1 hour ago, Willis said:

 I believe the dead's souls have moved on when they pass and they indeed are around me in spirit. My wife's brother who was my age died in June and the day of the wake when we were turning in for the evening April looked out the window facing the backyard and there was a deer standing in the middle of the yard looking at us about 50' away. So yes after almost 40 years on this two and a half acres I have seen deer but never one in the middle of the yard before. Hello Milt. We will miss you. Thanks for the visit! 

that is such a great story. My cousin was a paramedic and during the service the fire alarm went off ( small station next to cemetery) and we all smiled for we knew it was him

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  • I think it happens more than we realize and we are fortunate if we are able to recognize it when it happens. Is it part of that "you can go back but not make contact " thing? Could be. Another incident recently was the 29th of June when we had to make the choice to put our 14 year old dog down. His last days he was having a difficult time breathing and was panting all the time. It was time. So in the front of my house are a couple bird feeders. It is not unusual to hear a bird fly into one of the 2 picture windows. That has only happened in front. My wife was in the kitchen that afternoon when boom. A cardinal flew into the french doors at the back of the kitchen. It stunned itself and sat stunned on the deck, mouth open and gasping like my dog at the end. It was fine and flew away in time but I'm sure it was a good bye and thank you visit from Ellis my dog
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We went to the cemetery the other day to see Wayne's dad and my cousin Jason. 

Wayne doesn't often want to go to see his dad, makes him sad.

It was the first time I'd seen Jason since he died, and now I get how Wayne feels. I was quite down for the rest of the day.

I like to go see Wayne's dad and my grandparents in both Northampton and Busselton, as I want them to know they are missed.

I'm a Christian, and believe in eternal life; I also think visiting the place I said goodbye to people shows how much they meant to me.

💚👑

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  • 1 month later...

My father died quickly and peacefully.  I think about him and all the good parts of his life on both anniversaries.  My children are tired of hearing the same old stories over and over, so I tell them to myself instead.  

 

My mother died slowly, with Parkinson's.  My major thought on her anniversaries is gratitude that she eventually died, and that her death was painless.  Then I think about her life, which was complicated, and how she managed to deal with it.  I get more and more sympathetic and impressed each passing year.

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