8 day deep coma - losing hope

[ezman23]

 

NOTE: This thread started in our Newbie Introductions forum and was moved here when it approached 20 replies, as per is our custom with threads that evolve beyond a 'meet and greet.' MBA: JR

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Hi all, my name is Eric, my dad (67 yrs old) suffered a big hemorrhagic stroke last friday (sept 16th). He immediately fell unconscious and has been in a coma ever since. The scans are showing the blood has been drained successfully and he has been off sedation since after the operation early Saturday. For a week there was only eyelid blinking (not open eyes though) and legs simultaneously kicking every so often.

On Friday (sept 23rd) he began showing reaction to pain and spontaneously moves his arm and legs sometimes as well as yawning.

These were all new signs and so we were hopeful we were seeing signs of improvement.

The doctors are saying he should have opened his eyes by now. They say the outlook is very bleak.

I'm now expecting the worst, that he won't open his eyes ever, and the doctors will soon be asking to remove feeding tubes etc.

Is there any hope to hang onto?

[Guest lwisman]

Eric,

 

Sorry to hear about your father. I know this is a very difficult time for all of you. Eight days is a very short time with stroke recovery. I had a stroke in 1997 and was in a coma for 2 weeks. My short term memory was not working for 2 1/2 months. I only remembered anything for a few minutes. There are many people on this network who were in a coma for several weeks.

 

It is good news that he has made some progress. I find it hard to believe that the doctors are so sure that he should be making more progress. My experience is that everyone's body heals at its own pace. In my case they could not remove life support as long as their was brain activity. Not sure what the laws are in the Uk, but here the bottomline on pulling life support is brain activity.

 

Yes there is hope. Keeping encouraging your Dad and be his advocate with the medical system.

 

Best of luck to all of you.

[Guest joy]

Hello, Eric

 

My heart goes out to you. There is always hope. I don't know what your religious affiliations are but my God is always sufficient to my needs. We did not go through what you are so I have no ideas on your situation. I know they told me for the first 48 hours after Hans' stroke that he was not going to make it but we are nearly two years out and he is home with me. He cannot walk or talk but he is alive and for the most part enjoys life - not as we knew it but as it is now.

 

Just keep loving your Dad and trust in your God to bring him through if that is His will. I am 67, too, and I know that I am ready to go to my heavenly home anytime. Hopefully your Dad is too. It is so very hard to watch a loved one in the situation that your Dad is in. All you can do is watch and wait and pray. God is still in control.

 

Again, my love and prayers are with you. Keep us posted on your situation. This is the place to come to when you need help. There are lots of really smart people here and they can offer you much advise and help.

[slmstrokeangel]

Yes, there is always hope. I've read some amazing stories on this board.

[swilkinson]

Welcome Eric

I had a friend that was in a coma for weeks and recovered. She said she could hear people talking but couldn't get from "where I was" to answer them. So I guess you go on for a while as if he will be back while preparing yourself for the worst. Visit as much as you can because in a coma people have said they still felt others there with them, heard music or felt the loneliness of being on their own.

Our prayers will be with you and your family.

Sue.

[MargaretMary]

HI Eric,

My husband was also in a coma and everyone wanted the plugs pulled. Please give him more time. My husband is home with me and doing good. We are even adopting four children. Have faith in God, he will pull you through whatever comes next. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

MargaretMary (MM)

[rosetta]

Eric there is always hope.

 

I cannot relate directly to your situation, but I have a dear friend who was in a coma for 3 weeks. She came out just fine. Seems nature put her there to heal up.

 

Keep visiting and talking, even if there seems to be no response.

 

You are in out thoughts and prayers.

 

Rosie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Phyllis4732]

Eric, what others have said - not very long since stroke and "hearing" is true. I don't know about UK but TV.s are keep on in ICU (at least when my Dad was there and when I was). At any rate, speak to your Dad and of course in a positive way. As much as we respect Dr.s for their knowledge, they absolutely do NOT know everything. I'll bet more people here, who have been there, will say the Dr's have been wrong about many things than say they have been right. Perhaps they are taught not to get people's hopes up; it seems that way.

 

Please know that I am sending you prayer and energy.

 

Phylli

[ezman23]

thanks for all the support, it really does help.

yesterday my dad had an operation after a scan showed some residual blood at the front of his skull.

this was removed and after the operation he opened his eyes for the first time, he doesn't seem to look anywhere but they opened to verbal request, pain response and spontaneously.

He was then sedated becuase they are having great difficult getting his feeding tube down, after that his coma scores went back down again, though he opened his eyes spontaneously when going for a repeat scan (doctors were concerned about his revert back to original scoring).

This morning he is having a tracheostomy which i can't say much about as my mum just got the call from the hospital and has gone straight there, though apparently it's becasue they think he'll be better off on it as they think he'll be unconscious for a long time?

So we've had some ups and some downs, we are trying to be strong and keep hopes alive, i've been talking to him and reading selected news stories! i hope he can hear me...

thanks again for all your kind words of support.

eric

[PVINSON5]

I HAVE HOPE! I'LL SAY A PRAYER. YOU KEEP ON, ERIC.

[danni3]

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD MY REPLY TO YOU, 8DAYS IS TO SHORT OR TIME FOR YOUR DAD, I WAS AND A COMA TO AND TOLD I WANT MAKE IT, I HAVE A BRAIN BLEED, THAT EFFECTED MY LEFT HEMOUS SPHERE,BUT ARE DOING FIND TODAY BACK TO WORK AND DRIVING, THANK FROM THE BLESSING OR MY LORD.

[ruthie65]

Eric ,I was 39 at the time of my massive brain bleed. I was not comatose but unhconscious and on a ventilator , for 3 weeks. Now seven months later. I am spending some days home alone.Keep your hopes up and hopefully many people will pray for your dad. I know Iwill. Hope you see improvement soon!

 

 

ruthie65

[shaylerobins]

Hi,

 

I wish Sandy who is an MD could give us more incite into what Doctors look for in this situation. My wife who had a major bleed began to have Kidney failure and other symptoms which indicated her brain was dying. Out of the thousands who have bleed strokes very few survive. Where the bleed occured, age, and the time past to begin treatment are factors.

 

However, in this situation, I agree not to give up hope. Not enough time has past to make a DNR decision. Ask intelligent questions. Do research. When the time comes, you will know what to do.

 

My prayers are with you.

 

 

Shayle

[ezman23]

Just to say thanks again. it's now been 16 days. there has been little change but today something odd happened - this was witnessed by others in the room. i asked him to open his eyes, and he tried, you could see his eyelids moving upwards. i told him i knew it must be quite difficult but to try once more, this time he actually opened them slightly. it was a fantastic moment. tomorrow we'll probably be having another talk with the consultant who'll probably say he hasn't made any progress and give us a very bleak outlook again, but this was progress. i saw it and it was witnessed. it's just a shame it wasn't in front of medical staff...

[Guest joy]

Do not give up. Keep talking and making simple requests. You have seen progress and improvement and YOU know it. That is all that matters right now. Many have experienced long periods on non- responsiveness and suddenly one day - just "woke up".

 

God be with you.

 

Joy

[jasco]

Eric; I had a brain bleed & was in a coma for over a month at which time my kidneys failed, then clots- followed by seisures. DO NOT give up talking to your Dad. He can hear you-he can't respond. I would not allow the MD to stand at bedside & speak negatively- Dad can hear it.

 

Prayers are with you.

 

Jasco

 

 

[hera]

I just want to add my prayers to you and your family. I am a stroke survivor - had a bleed 9 months ago at age 49, never lost consciousness and remember everything except when I was under anesthesia or on morphine. I remember and heard everything around me.

 

I also want to assure you that your dad can hear what is going on in the room, what is being said - talk to him and please don't let anyone talk as if he is "not there" - positive, optimistic and "normal" is most important to him keeping faith. My experiences are that I have a sister who was in a coma after liver failure. I live 600 miles away - all the rest of our family who lived close, including her sons, were at her bedside. Suddenly, I realized she was waiting for me - waiting to hear my voice. I drove alone 11 hours to get there - went straight to the hospice at 11 pm at night. As soon as she heard my voice, her breathing changed. I started to brush her hair, talked to her, braided her hair in red ribbons, sang to her - and just as I tied the last ribbon, she peacefully crossed over.

 

My father died at 67 of a sudden heart attack - he had serious heart failure. At 54, he had bypass surgery - in recovery, after two days, I noticed he looked as if he had had a stroke - the doctors had missed that. He recovered, and lived much longer than anyone ever predicted.

 

It is painful to lose your parent - but don't give up hope - it sounds as if your dad is a fighter, and he just might defy all the odds.

 

You'll be in our thoughts.

 

Blessings,

~ hera ~

[mommyofmaddi]

My father was in a coma for 6 weeks, after we were told he was not going to survive the first 4 days.

 

here we are 5 years later, and my father is playing with his grandchildren.

 

Don't give up hope!! It is always there, you just might have to look harder to find it!

 

 

[ezman23]

Thanks for all the replies, the support has been very helpful.

The latest is this.

It

[slmstrokeangel]

This is great news! I'm happy for you.

[bstockman]

Hi Eric, glad there is some progress, as others have said keep talking to him asking him to do simple things. Encouragement and love can be great healers.

Best wishes to you and your whole family

Bonnie

[ezman23]

It

[bstockman]

Hi Eric, thanks for the update. I don't if anyone can tell you how much progress or any timeline. Stroke recovery is at it's own pace. Depending on the amount of damage and what the cells function was, and other brain cells trying to learn to take over.

 

There are many amazing recoveries here... Some were told there spouses would be vegetables and they are at home and continue to make progress.

 

If you read some of the Blogs (especially of some of the caregivers) there are posts and Bios of survivors. Some the doctors had given little hope.

 

All I can say is it is a hard, slow road, sometimes with lots of bumps..but have hope and don't give up.

Is your brother less communicative on the days after PT? he may get tired.. just try to encourage and acknowledge each new progress, be his cheerleader!

 

Best wishes to you and your family

Bonnie

[givincare]

Hey Eric,

I completely agree with Bonnie and would like to add a few other thoughts.

 

Keep in mind that the level of recovery a survivor has is rarely enough for the survivor. We as caregivers find it easy to look at the person and say "WOW! you are doing so great!" because to us, who may have nearly lost our loves ones altogether, DO think they are doing so much better. We see where they were just after the stroke vs. where they are now. They usually see themselves where they were before the stroke vs. where they are now.

 

This can be an advantage or disadvantage to the survivor depending on their attitude. It helps my husband in that he doesn't feel he's made enough progress so he keeps working as hard as he can to get better. For others, they think they aren't making enough progress, so they give up thinking this is their fate, written in stone.

 

 

No, I can't promise if you keep working on something that you will eventually get it back. But I CAN guarentee if you DON'T try to get it back, you won't.

 

As hard as it is, and as discouraged as your brother may be, keep being his cheerleader. Cry with him from time to time- he has suffered a huge loss and he has alot of things to work through to get to some sort of acceptance. BTW- when I say acceptance, I don't mean giving in to the affects of the stroke. It's more like realizing THIS is the path you will be taking now, not the path you thought you would be on.

 

Take Care,

Kristen

 

 

[kristina38]

Eric, keep a close eye on your Dad while in a ward. My Mom went through a 12 day coma, pneumonia, blood infection etc and pulled through only to be stuffed on a "step down" unit because her doctor decided it would be better to "let her go to God"...I fought them and went and held her hand and talked to her every day. They didn't turn her enough and she got several stage 4 decubitus wounds that only now, 8 months later, are almost healed. Stay on the staff in those wards and talk to him as much as possible.