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I wanted to share this post because I know most of us, at some point, have experienced PTSD in our life or may know someone who has. Many people who have had PTSD happen to them though  some other trauma, I know I have, but following a stroke I can say the other night was my first time and it is was a whole new level of stress. 

 

 


(quick backstory- my stroke was caused from a neck adjustment resulting in a dissection 12 years ago . Last night my head twisted and my neck cracked.. that was the first time I heard that in 12 years and full attack. All was fine but scary.. it also felt really good after that. The last time I had an MRI, everything was completely healed and the stent is perfectly fine. Stroke PTSD)<--read this

 

***I've had PTSD one other time and that was after I was in an abusive relationship( 15 years earlier) and I my soon-to-be husband(GG great-guy) ( at the time) bought a house and it would have been the first time being alone in a house with a man. Out of the blue, I can't explain it, I saw my  abuser ( BH Butt-head), in the house ( in Florida and I was in NJ) and I looked at GG and all I saw was BH.. I started screaming and I ran out ** I do not know to this day how I didn't fall down a flight of stairs** I now know all of what happened after GG explained to me. I went back into intensive counseling and had to be put on medicine through a physiologist . I tell you all that to explain I know how that feels. This was 21 years ago I'm good now. It was what it was. This happened at work and I tried to reach for something under a persons bed, at work, and  I twisted my neck and I heard it crack and I started to shake and had to sit down and almost like I was waiting for something. It passed later but scary nonetheless****

 

 

Have you experienced that?  

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That must have been so scary. ((HUGS))  So far I have not personally experienced PTSD but I have been around people who have, as you say it's actually pretty common these days, unfortunately.

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Yes yes and yes! Unfortunately, I am reminded often of my stroke and it was a terrifying experience. My stroke has left me with balance issues, disequilibrium and central vertigo which I experience often. Sometimes it's ok and I get through it fine and then other times end with panic attack. There are many ways I think this manifests with me. Another kinda weird but truly unsettling thing is Taco Bell and another is throwing up. The night I had my stroke I ate Taco Bell and my stroke caused violent unrelenting vomiting immediately (and I couldn't move my head so I was lying on my stomach with my face side ways and throwing up so intensely that I felt like I was suffocating). Gross fact, my daughter (my savior) had to scoop puke away from my face multiple times. Needless to say, Taco Bell increases my anxiety 10 fold just seeing it... I have not eaten Taco Bell since that day. I also am nauseated and throw up often now due to vertigo and it is debilitating when it happens. First, I do everything in my power to avoid these moments out of fear and second it almost causes a panic attack each time. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes Kelli when this happened. Fear is a very palpable thing when past trauma burns something into your psyche. I am so blessed to fear a second stroke so much less than I used to but it is still right there waiting for a catalyst to evoke it again. These things may seem trivial but to me it brings me right back into that headspace when it happened. That feeling of helplessness, that feeling of "I'm going to die" and the fear of it happening again is paralyzing. I am so glad you are ok and you are rock lady!!!! 

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