Rude People


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:Tantrum: I have been increasingly frustrated as Denny and I venture out more and more. People are either in so much of a hurry they don't look and nearly knock Denny over as he walks SLOWLY with his cane, or just don't plain care if they rush around him and nearly knock him over. Today while shopping at the big box store where we pick up the $375 in monthly prescriptions, he was nearly run into and knocked over by someone coming OUT the exit. Then after we paid and enjoyed our $3 hot dog lunch, he was trying to park the scooter the store provides so he could get up and walk to the car, because we all know it is against the rules to take the scooter out of the store...God Forbid! At least three people bolted past him and cut him off so they could be first out the door. Then as he was trying to get it close to the wall so it wouldn't block anything, a large man (I refuse to call him an adult) was in so much of a hurry and didn't want to wait in the line while the exit guards checked everyone's receipt and drew a line through them with highlighter (don't ge me started on that practice) he had to squeeze between Denny and the wall. Then his two sons, seeing how RUDE the Dad was, stopped - APOLOGIZED and went around on the other side. I thanked them for having better manners than their father. ARRGGGHHH.

 

And how do you deal with the staring and pity looks! DRIVES ME NUTS - Denny is wired up like a robot with a e-stim on his shoulder, a tens unit on his back and his electronic walk-aid on his leg. I don't care if you need to look twice, but just staring drives me nuts.

 

Sorry for ranting and the run on sentences....thanks for listening.

 

:Argh: :Explode:

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Ray and I have had some of the problems you mention. Because people are so busy and push past a slow walker we have to use a wheelchair in shopping centres and crowded places for Ray, as the risk of being knocked down and breaking a hip or major bone is too great. I have been pushing a wheelchair for seven years, as Ray has been in one for the same period of time. It is a safety issue for us.

 

The wheelchair also goes on holidays with us as on bus trips and coach holidays there is a lot of walking which Ray simply cannot do. I guess we have got used to the way people react to Ray being in a chair as it has been so many years now.

 

If someone asks me a question about Ray in Ray's presence I bent down and ask him :"How do you feel about that?" and he answers them.

 

If people want to be nice they hold open doors for us or let us into the line in front of them. Men particularly often pat Ray on the shoulder in passing and say :"Good on you, mate." as a sign of solidarity.

 

Maybe going out in a wheelchair doesn't appeal to everyone but walking with a cane in a busy area can be asking for trouble. Life is so hectic now and a lot of people are in a hurry. And it is not always kids who are the thoughtless ones either, sometimes their parents are so engrossed in their own busyness that they are too rushed to be polite. And what kind of lesson is that to the next generation?

 

Sue.

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Guest lwisman

I have a couple of suggestions.

 

One is to always go to the store at at off time. Say mid afternoon on Wednesday. I hardly ever go to the store on a weekend, when many people shop.

 

I walk with a rollator. It is much more stable than a cane. This means when someone brushes against me, I can hold onto it. If I only had a cane, I would be knocked over. Also, the rollator is very obvious. Many people see it who would not see a cane.

 

Remember most people in the stores have never been disabled, nor have they had someone close to them disabled. So, they have no idea.

 

I'll have to admit I do get miffed. On Friday I was clothes shopping and an able bodied young woman came out of the handicapped changing room, then she cut in front of me in line. Oh well, let it roll off your back like water off a duck's back. Do work to make it more stable for your husband. Falls are no fun.

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Most people have no idea what we are going through. We painfully do the same routien everyday when people with no respect of the way we are and what we have to do. I did not volentere to be here so pardon me for being me, walk in my shoes,feel my pain and have a little respect where respect is needed. Excuse my spelling..........

 

Foz

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Well I guess there will always be rude people in a rush to be 5 seconds ahead of you no matter where they are. Thankfully I think there are more nice people. I hated the stares too. I think I have become used to them, and generally if you look them in the eye they will look away or smile. I'm not sure if some is curosity, or ????

 

 

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I hate going to Cost Co by myself, the only time I go alone is if I am picking up a prescription, then i head for the Pharmacy, you pay for your prescriptions there and then I head for the door. I usually try to do that in the middle of the week in the early afternoon (a less busy time).

 

I have peripheral vision loss so people are rushing by with large carts ans everyone seems to be in a hurry in there.. weekends or before a Holiday are the worst times to go.

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I have to speak to patient people so I can get my point across. This is in addition to my looking away so their expressions don't distract me. I always try to compliment them on their patience so they will be SUPER patient.

I also find people are more sympathetic and laid back depending where their from.

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I've long since stopped allowing rude people a pass. I have no problems cussing out complete strangers anymore and if it embarasses them then GOOD. I've cussed out doctors, nurses, health aides, strangers in the mall, people in parking lots, etc, etc....I've decided that if they had such poor home training then I'll do them a favor and "educate" them as to how woefully ignorant they and their parents really are...It probably doesn't help them but it makes me feel better...

Kristina

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  • 3 weeks later...

I chuckle as I read this string. I used to get so angry - nothing new since my stroke almost 18 months ago. Whenever I'd go to Wally world, it would infuriate me to no end when people cut me off or block my path. Usually more adults than kids. Customer service became a pet peeve as well. I remember leaving my motorized chair smack dab in the middle of the aisle and huffing away with my walker.

 

Another visit, much later, I knelt to get a candy bar, lost my balance and tumbled to the floor. Not a soul offered help.

 

I also found how few businesses are ADA compliant when there's no ramp to enter and merchandise is so crowded that you can't maneuver a wheelchair.

 

I think that's why I pushed myself so hard to walk steadily again. Now, I go where I want, when I want and still notice inconsiderates cutting me off. At least it doesn't hinder me. People are rude everywhere. But, then again we live in a fallen world that does not recognize the sovereignty of a risen King.

 

James -Husband of the username and stroke survivor at 35.

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Angelisa,

 

I welcome you to our site since I see this is your first post or reply even though your stroke was 18 months ago. This is the place to communicate and learn more about strokes and caregiving. And to James, welcome...husband to Angelisa, I think?

 

Anyway, you could go to newbie introduction Forum and more members will welcome you officially. Some of the members don't read all the Forums and may miss you replying to this topic as a newbie.

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Guest braz54

I to understand that htere are more rude people. Early on in Joe's recovery,He was walking of Wal-mart to the car and he fell. I was a mess. Not 1 young person or middle aged person stopped to help.

2 couples in their 70's stopped and the men helped me get him up. Then ladies took hold of my cart.

 

I just couldn't believe it! I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

 

I always taught my boys manners adn to becareful when you see a handicapped person. Hold the door etc..

Today, Kids just don't care and there is Not any respect for anything.. :ranting:

It is sad1

 

Gail

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I know what you mean about the looks in public. My husband tells me that everyone looks at people and if they see something that catches their eye( a cane, w/c, orthotic) they will look longer. I think smiling at the onlookers is the best bet, if anything they will know you caught them:)

 

As far as shopping I agree, go at off times if possible. I usually try to walk w/ the cart for support and my husband walks in front to help steer. I think before my stroke I already vowed to stop going to Costco on the weekends b/c it is cutthroat in there!

 

 

 

 

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Some people are just, plain rude & no matter how angry we get, they won't change. As a disabled person myself, I have almost been knocked over many times, but I just loudly say EXCUSE ME & keep on going -

GOOD LUCK ON THIS

June :beer:

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