klee Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Hello, My mother sufferred a massive intracerebral hemorrhagic stroke involving the entire right side of her brain almost a month ago and is still in a coma. Her neurosurgeon told me that he detects very weak brain activity and that he is not hopeful that she will ever come out of her coma or ever come off her ventilator. She was in poor health when her stroke happened (hypertension, diabetes, and severly overweight). I'm at a loss as to whether I fight for more agressive treatment to help her come out of her coma or accept that she will live her remaining life in a coma. I would like to know from other people's experiences that are similar to mine as to whether their loved ones came out of their comas and what happened after that. Any adivce would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Sincerely, klee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robyn Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Welcome klee...I have no advice but I want to offer a voice of support and consolation. I'm so sorry for your mother. I hope you have some peace whatever you decide to do for her care. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scammarata Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Klee- My Dad was described by the doctor's as "catatonic" last year for almost two months. He was not in a coma but probably as close to it as you can get. He could not open his eyes but would squeeze my fingers when I talked to him. I did alot of research on people in a coma and everything I read said to talk and touch them as you normally would if she was awake. I don't have any advice, I can just say my feelings were to give my Dad every chance possible like he would have done for me. He did progress and I had some of my most treasured memories during those months. He passed away this past June and looking back, even though he only lived a year after his ordeal began, I would do it all over again for those precious memories. My prayer was always the same, please help me know the right thing to do. Again my situation is not totally similar to yours and I wish you and your Mom all the best. You are in my prayers. Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arogers Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Welcome, My husband's 2004 stroke was hemorrhagic. He did not go into a coma, however, he wasn't "here" either. When I looked into his eyes they were vacant. He couldn't communicate, although he could sit up. He did have to be restrained since he didn't know where he was (intensive care) and removed his IVs. This state lasted about a week. The doctors explained to me this happened because of the swelling and that when the swelling subsided he would come out of that state not remember any of it. He didn't remember anything that happened afterward. The results of that stroke are hemianopsia, loss of ability to read and to write. Another stroke followed in March 2005 that resulted in right-side weakness, loss of short-term memory, aphasia, and a host of other problems. (My blog details the journey we've travelled since that time.) As far as advice, I can tell you that my strength has come from my God during all this. There have been numerous hospitalizations since that time. There have been many attempts at physical, occupational and speech therapy. He is 56 years old (57 in October) and now suffers from pretty severe dementia. This is just our situation and there are many, many others here who have had different outcomes than we. Bill also suffers from diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension and these were all factors in his strokes. I wish you well - stroke is an ugly, life-changing illness. As I said, you will find support here since all of us have dealt with it, either as a survivor or caregiver - and in some cases both. Warmly, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisratty Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 I can't offer any more than anyone else except I'm sending you hugs & prays for you at this difficult time. Just keep talking to her & holding her hand...she'll know you're there I sure. chris xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fking Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Klee, first I want to welcome you to the group. I also had a hemorrhagic stroke, didn't get to a hospital for about 5 hours. Didn't get the surgery, the bleed had stopped by then. From what I know they are the worse strokes to have. I'm still coping and struggling in my recovery. There are some on here who had comas and I hope they come forward to give you their experiences. Keep logging in to read the replies to your post. I wish and pray for your mom's recovery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cindy1947 Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 My daughters best friends father ws in a coma for 2 months after his stroke. She went there every day for 2 months and read all day to him. The news paper, books, but sat there and read and talked to him and after 2 months he finally came out during one of her visits. There is always hope so don't give up. It's the hardest thing to go through but hang in there. Miracles do happen. They called my husband a miracle man because his bleed was a bad one and odds for him to live were very low. After 8 months of being hospitalized we are bringing him home on Wednesday. My prayers will be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klee Posted August 31, 2006 Author Share Posted August 31, 2006 Wow. Thank you everybody for all of for your support and encouragement. This is just what I need. My mom's stroke has been a shock and my guilt for being a "bad" caregiver has been eating me up off and on because I accepted a new job on the East Coast before the stroke happened and she lives on the West Coast. I already spent a week out there to see her and handle her affairs. I want very much to move her out here so I can keep watch over her. I am very fortunate that my cousins and her friends there have volunteered to visit. The doctors told me that she would need to live in an assisted living facility if she ever did recover because the stroke was so severe. Her entire left arm is paralyzed and it is doubtful if she will ever walk again. All of her doctors have told me that this was a very severe stroke and nobody is sure what will happen if and when she comes out of her coma. On top of it, she had a massive aneurysm and a bad hematoma when she fell on the table when the stroke happened. Can/Should I realisitically hope that she is going to come out of this "ok"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fking Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Yes you can, yes you should realistically hope, pray and know that she can recover. Even walk again, the question is the amount of time it takes, the doctors are guessing based on pass experiences with others they cared for. IMO only God knows. So many times the doctors have given all sorts of predictions that didn't come true for that person. I was told I probably wouldn't walk but I'm walking. So the possibility is always there for coming out of the coma and making some recovery. Here, we say "never say never", and look for the best results to come out of this tragady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caringfor5 Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Klee, I'm glad you found this site as I did only 15 days after my fiance's multiple strokes. Mike was in what some in the medical profession would call an open eye coma, meaning that he could open his eyes, had sleep and wake cycles and moved his body but with no intented purpose. He wouldn't follow commands but would sometimes do things that let me know he was still in there but they were very rare and far between, but he did eventually come out of it about 2 months after, finally he started to follow commands like stick out your tongue, squeeze my hand, blink your eyes, etc. He was on a ventilator until this time, but they were trying to wean him off of it, they were successful and once he was able to have it plugged we found out that he could talk. His talking progressed from saying one word that you had to practically pull out of him to now being completely conversational (one year later). As far as walking and things like that, Mike started out not even being able to handle sitting in a wheel chair, one of our problems with getting him to a rehab instead of long term acute care was that at first he would not sit in a wheel chair for the length of time required to be able to handle the three hours of therapy, but he progressed and was finally able to go to an acute rehab where he stayed for a month, this was nearly 5 months after his strokes. He progressed some while he was there but not fast enough to stay so I brought him home to live and he now has been in outpatient rehab for the last six months. When Mike came home he could not feed himself, take care of himself at all, was not bowel or bladder trained, could not sit up very well, still could not handle being in his chair for very long, he could not walk at all and could barely stand even with help. And I'm happy to say that he can now eat primarily by himself, he can brush his own hair, brush his teeth, help to bathe himself, he is bowel and bladder trained, can sit up completely by himself but does need help to get in the sitting position, can sit in his wheelchair for great lengths of time without complaint, can stand and walk with a walker with assitance. I was told that he would be a vegetable, that his case was similar to Terry Schaivo (literally they said this to me). They told me not to expect anything, that he would probably never be able to live outside of a nursing home and that more than likely he would not ever be aware of his surroundings. I was devistated but I always remained hopeful. I have learned from this new life to expect nothing but rejoice in everything. Every little improvement is something, its a step in the right direction and thats all that matters to me. No I don't have the same Mike that I once had but he is still very much the person that I fell in love with. Your Mom may not have came out of the coma yet but that certainly doesn't mean that it won't happen. It can happen. When? No one knows except God. Everything Mike has been able to do is one more thing that they said he never would do, he is a miracle and there are many other people on this site who have had similar experiences. You and your Mother will be in my prayers. Tina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lwisman Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 Hi Klee, Sorry to hear about your Mother. I was in a coma for two weeks. One difference is that I had strong brain activity during this time. I don't remember anything for two months after I came out of the coma. I became more and more responsive, but someone could talk to me and within a few minutes I would not remember the conversation. It took several weeks after that before my brain was really functional. If I were you I would get a second opinion on her brain scans. Doctors are notoriously pessimistic. There are many on this board who received negative medical advise which was wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisas Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 :welcome: Klee My 22 year old daughter Rachel suffered a massive stroke 0n 2/17/06. At this time she couldn't do anything. She wasn't in a coma, but couldn't speak. She could raise her left arm and that was it. She was incontinent, no movement on right side, couldn't swallow food or turn over. We were told she probably wouldn't make it and to start preparing. We were devastated. She had 2 blood clots in the heart and 1 in the brain. Well I can thankfully say today that Rachel had other plans for herself. Little by little she has started to come back to us. She was in the hospital for 56 days. She can now feed herself, walk with a quad cane, and learns new words everyday. She can't however, use her right arm yet. We are still hopeful though. So even though modern medicine is great, doctors are'nt always right with people and their will to survive. Don't ever give up hope. It's what keeps us going. That and lots of prayers. Also, did your mother ever put down in writing her wishes? Are you her power of attorney? Does she have one? These are all things to consider. Has she ever voiced her opinion about what to do if ever in a medical situation? I hope you find peace. I would get a 2nd opinion. :hug: I'ts a long road to recovery, but absolutely do able!! :friends: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caer Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Klee... My fiance suffered the same type of stroke as your mother back in march during heart surgery. They then did a craniectomy to relieve the pressure on his brain and give it room to swell. Bill was in a coma for about 5-6 weeks and then showed signs of wakening to me and a couple of nurses. The doctors told me I was delusional LOL! After 10 weeks in the hospital the neurosurgeon (the only one on my side at this point - the heart surgeon and all the others had Bill a vegetable for the rest of his life) replaced the skull flap and Bill went from intensive care to the regular floor. 5 days later the trache tube came out and lo and behold he could talk (heart docs still didn't believe it). A week later I brought Bill home with me. His insurance doesn't cover re-hab. He got 2500 bucks worth of in home speech therapy - the PT and OT people considered him not rehabible. Bill is still bedridden (been 6 months) but he is talking, has his sense of humor, we just started trying him on little pieces of popsicle and I'm trying everywhere to find some sort of resources to get him PT so we can get him out of the dang bed... The doctors told me the same things though that you're being told..... that's part of the reason Bill wouldn't talk to some of them - he heard everything when he was in the coma - he remembers alot! There is always hope and with Bill being 58 I refuse to give up on getting him therapy - I will find a way somehow... I'm on disability so I have all the time in the world to bug people LOL! Plus, I just found out that he may qualify for VA health benefits which might pay for home PT..... So, sweetie.... you have come to the right place with wonderful people! I don't post alot but I come here every day to read:) Faith and Hope are wonderful things! Also very powerful:) Good luck to you and your mother and I'll be keeping you in my prayers! Hugs:) Caer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jwatrous Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Klee - This is very sad and must be awful for you, to deal with - I had the same kind of stroke your mom had in 1985 at age 39 :Tantrum: , but truly believe that my younger age helped me recover sooner. I was never in a coma though, just a bleed that completely damaged my left side. - Before you do anything drastic for your mom, talk to her doctor to see what kind of chances she will have should she come out of it and search your heart to see if your mom would want to be left in this kind of state GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS June Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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