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michaelswife

decision making

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I am wondering if any of the people here have found that people that have had minor strokes are more irresponsible in decision making. In that they can't see the whole picture, and are focussed on one thing only.

Michael has decided since his last stroke that he needs a laptop computer. I have tried to disuade him, saying that his computer is perfectly fine, and that he can't afford a laptop. He insisted and has bought one. He knows my thoughts on it. He says he can take it to the hospital when he ends up there. I told him that they don't allow expensive things like that there for fear of theft, and asked why he was going to end up in the hospital? He thinks that he will. Is this a typical thing that can happen, or is this only Michael??

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I would suggest that the area in his brain that would normally filter those decisions has been affected - cognitive skills have been altered. My husband had issues with decision making prior to his stroke. Now I am responsible for the finances and he doesn't think much about cost of anything or money matters. I am now the one who knows our finances and have assumed that responsibility. You may inquire about some therapy to help with cognitive skills, judgement skills, prioritizing skills. I think folks here have taken their laptops to the hospital! I don't think it's all that unusual for him to anticipate a return to the hospital. For a long time my husband had that anticipation, too. It takes awhile to get over the sense of "impending doom". Brain attack is pretty traumatic for everybody, as you know well.

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i sometimes have a hard time in making decisions due to stroke. i can be impulsive also and try to hurry through things. this all is damage done by stroke. this all has gotten better with time. as far as the computer goes, they allow computers in hospitals at your own risk i'm sure. i use my laptop all day, my hubby got it for me last year as a birthday present. it is much more convenient for me and has helped me tremendously, gotten me more involved with things and most of all, my cognitive abilities are much better now. i know they are expensive, but what isn't anymore. i think its better than the tv all day long. just my thoughts. i hope he doesn't end back in the hospital either. its a worry all survivors have at one point i think after a stroke. a computer will occupy his mind and time. i say go for it, they have refurbished ones, at a much lower cost, dell has them all of the time.

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I think that cognitive issues come into play with just about every stroke survivor. I think Ann has it right about having him tested though. It may be very helpful to determine whether he is basing his decisions due to the defecits from his stroke or his desire to satisify himself emotionally, just because.

 

I'm with you, though, about the laptop and the hospital. I couldn't have anything of value in my room. I just wanted to have my PDA, and they wouldn't allow it. It may depend on the hospital too.

 

Bob

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Thanks for the replies so far! We have another Dr. appointment this afternoon, hopefully we will hear more about the Stroke Clinic then, and any tests that Michael might need to have. Anyone that does not know him would never know that he has had a stroke. This happened with his first stroke also, he tells me.

About the computer, Michael has a good, newer computer, it's just a desktop, not a laptop. He is behind it a lot, when I am at work- he does not need anyone at home with him. He has his own website that he maintains and is very proud of. But wanting 2 computers is a bit much for me, that is why I asked if insisting on getting a laptop might be stroke related. He never mentioned anything about a laptop before his stroke. I hope I get to talk to his Dr. today so that I can bring up this concern.

 

 

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I have a PC and a lap top. I use my lap top most of the time now. I can sit in the family room ..being in the same room with my husband so we talk and watch tv shows.. I volunteer here on site so it really is a convience for me. I also am more comfortable/less pain sitting in my recliner with my feet up .. I bought one that was not so expensive.. and basically use it for internet and a few games.

 

Playing some computer games has definately helped some cognitive and focus issues.

 

Not long after stroke. My husband and I were grocery shopping. Our bank is in the same store. so he said I'll run over to the bank, go ahead and start shopping. We he cae over there was nothing in the cart. I couldn't make the decision on what meat to buy.. and it seemed like I was overwhelmed.

 

I now do much on my own. I try not to make any big decisions without talking about it first. I try NOT to be impulsive I try mainly to focus on what is "needed" this does take a lot of learning to re focus and concentrate on things.

 

I can get overwhelmed easily if there are too many people or to much "stuff" (like in WalMart) so if I go there alone I focus on what I am going in for, get it and leave.

 

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By the way, in the interest of full disclosure, I also have a laptop in addition to a desk top. Like Bonnie, I find it very helpful to be able to sit with my feet up or do my work in the evenings when my husband is in bed. Also, my husband's compulsive behavior did raise it's ugly head one day when I was away and he decided he wanted to purchase some colon cleanser and pre-diabetic herbal program on TV. He asked the aid to make the call apparently and we are still dealing with the consequences. Lesson learned on my part - tell anyone staying with him he cannot use his credit card unless I'm home!

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I just use desk top, i have trouble with lap top, off hitting keys when I don't mean to, i do have wirelrss mouse and keyboard, and got a flat screen lcd screen so i wouldn't have bulky monitor. i have to be very careful, because I am now impulsive and get over my head easily, i also am ovewrwhelmed easily, and since my math was affected I have to be very very careful, with my purchases.

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I don't have a laptop - I use a desktop at home and work. The laptop would be more convenient, I agree, if you can afford it and have a wireless network in your home.

 

I have some cognitive issues too. I don't have anyone to "buffer" me, so I am learning to compensate by going slower and doing my best to think something over multiple times. This can be hard as part of me still wants to operate at 100 MPH but I can't think that fast anymore.

 

I can be impulsive sometimes. I can be forgetful. I have posted on here about forgetting to pay bills sometimes. I just leased a car without fully thinking it through. I am managing though.

 

Larry

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I just bought a laptop mainly to bring on this vacation with me knowing I wasn't getting out much here in New Orleans. I just wanted a means to keeping tabs with this site and my affairs at home. So I suppose there are many reasons for different people to want a laptop. I wouldn't call it irresponsible just a matter of want versus need.

 

Your answer is in your second reply, he has his own website, right there IS HIS WANTS NOT NEEDS but it would be so good to be able to get on his website when he wants to if he did or didn't return to the hospital. Like Michael, I can stay home by myself and the TV gets old after you see the same thing a couple times like on CNN headline news.

 

I just bought one to bring on vacation probably, like an RV motor home, it will be parked until I take another trip. As I reply to your post, I sit in the hotel room, have been since we arrived yesterday. It's my M-I-L's birthday today August 8th, and my wife insisted I come along.

 

The casino is across the street, we have a hotel compliments of Harrah's due to my wife having a diamond card for play and get the points sorta like airline miles. In fact her brother was called back after the hurricane to finish work on this same hotel. So we got plenty of free rooms when coming to New Orleans. This is my first time back and her fourth time and they live at the casino playing the machines. I haven't been yet but plan to today at some point.

 

I don't think his stroke has anything to do with him wanting a laptop or a website, he just sees it as a want. In fact had I not been a volunteer on this site, I doubt if I would have bought one to bring on this trip and I would be in the casino too.

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BEFORE THE STROKE, I WAS CONSERVATIVE AND VERY CAREFUL ABOUT PURCHASES.. NOW, I FIND MYSELF COMPULSIVE ABOUT NOT RUNNING OUT OF CERTAIN FOODS. I AM IN A GROCERY STORE 5 DAYS A WEEK. I ALSO LISTEN TO MY WIFES SUGGESTIONS AND IF SHE FEELS WE SHOULD EVENTUALLY BUY SOMETHING, I DRIVE HER CRAZY UNTIL WE SHOP FOR THE ITEM. WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE 2 NEW TV SETS AND AN IPOD, PURCHASED WITHIN THE LAST THREE WEEKS.

 

I KNOW MY COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR IS DUE TO CHANGES SINCE MY STROKE. ON MAJOR DECISIONS, LIKE BUYING A TOWNHOUSE, DECORATING, FURNITURE, PAINT COLORS, ETC., WE DISCUSS AND I LEAVE ALL THE SELECTIONS TO HER. I MAY BE DUMB, BUT I'M NOT STUPID. I DO HAVE ONE ROOM THAT WILL BE MY OFFICE AND ALL THE CHOICES IN THERE WILL BE MINE, SO I'M TOLD. I CAN THINK CLEARLY MOST OF THE TIME, BUT TELL ME WE NEED SOMETHING AND I BECOME RELENTLESS. SO FAR, SHE HASN'T SUGGESTED I HAVE A MISTRSS. I'M WAITING :big_grin:

 

MARTY : :hahaha:

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