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The Five Stages of Grief

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Hi Everyone,


Hostpam suggested that I copy and paste to its own thread the below posting that I did some time ago, so that all the newbies could find it easier. It's about the five stages of grief. Most, if not all, people who have had a stroke impact on their lives go through theses stages, whether you're a caregiver or survivor.


Thanks, Pam, for the suggestion. Jean :wub:


Below is an article on the five stages of grief that I pulled off the internet. People move through these five stages of grief for more reasons than just the death of a loved-one. Survivors grieve for the loss of a limb or for the loss of a life-style. And as spouses of survivors, we grieve the loss of our friend/lover/mate who may not be the same person that we married, in addition to grieving the loss of a life-style. I truly believe it helps if you recognize that you are, in deed, in a state of grief when you are in the early weeks/months after a stroke effects your family. By doing so, maybe you won't be so hard on yourself for having some very common and predictable feelings and frustrations.


Five Stages Of Grief


1) Denial and Isolation. At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.

2) Anger. The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

3) Bargaining. Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

4) Depression. The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

5) Acceptance. This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.



Grief and Stress

During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful.


Yet denying the feelings, and failing to work through the five stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest "looking on the bright side," or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will take longer for healing to take place.


Recovering from Grief

Grieving and its stresses pass more quickly, with good self-care habits. It helps to have a close circle of family or friends. It also helps to eat a balanced diet, drink enough non-alcoholic fluids, get exercise and rest.


Most people are unprepared for grief, since so often, tragedy strikes suddenly, without warning. If good self-care habits are always practiced, it helps the person to deal with the pain and shock of loss until acceptance is reached.




The five stages of grief are posted all over the internet and on sites for anything from divorce to empty nesters, but one of our membes here (goddnessmd) says the '5 stages' were penned by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a psychiatrist. after she wrote, 'on death and dying'.

Edited by jriva

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Thank you Jean for sharing and thank you Pam for suggesting that Jean share.


After reading your post I was reminded of a publication that I was given when my mother died. It is such a beautiful brochure and deals with the emotions that we go through when someone we love dies... I wanted to share it with you.




Just click on the link to read the entire brochure.




Remember that the more that we share means the more that we care.





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That is a great post. I read each step and reflected on my mental well being post stroke. I am now 3 years post stroke (my time goes by fast in this second life) and I still find myself going through these three stages but not nearly as intense as the first time through. What has been good about having them in writing is to know that there is a structure to grief and realize that you are not alone in going through these feelings. Important reading for all. Tom

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Mel Baker just blogged about a website that is really informative about grieving, whether you're grieving your old life or the lost of a friend. Check out the article at: http://www.griefwatch.com/default.asp



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Recycling this topic to the top for awhile - Donna - MBM

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