WHEN ROLES ARE REVERSED


marlen

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OK, YOU HAD A STROKE AND YOUR WIFE HAS ENCOURAGED, PRODDED AND BELIEVED IN YOU FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS. NOW SHE HAS A PROBLEM AND HAS SOME TESTING TO GO THROUGH. NOW I'M AN OPTOMIST AND I KNOW IT REALLY CAN'T BE ANYTHING SERIOUS. I READ A LOT. I GO TO DOCTORS AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING. MY WIFE AGONIZES FROM TEST TIME UNTIL SHE GETS THE RESULTS, WHICH MEANS NOW TIL DEC. 3 WILL BE ABSOLUTE HE**. SHE BELIEVES THERE IS NOTHING WRONG BASED ON THE SYMPTOMS THAT ARE NOT CONSISTANT. THIS IS WHEN I SEE WORRY OVER NOTHING YOU CAN'T CONTROL, CAN RULE YOUR LIFE.

 

NOW, I WORRY MORE FOR HER THAN I DO FOR MYSELF. HER PARENTS LIVED TO BE 92 AND 93, SO I FIGURE SHE STILL HAS 27 YEARS TO GO. MY PARENTS ON THE OTHER HAND BOTH PASSED AWAY AT 67. AND GUESS WHO IS 67?

YUP, YOURS TRULY. NOT THAT IT MEANS ANYTHING, BUT THE LITTLE BLACK CLOUD WILL HANG OVER MY HEAD UNTIL APRIL.

 

SO, IT'S MY TURN TO BE IN THE WAITING ROOMS WHILE SHE UNDERGOES HER TESTS. I HATE THIS ROLE REVERSAL.

 

MARTY :huh:

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My father passed away very young.. so the year I turned the age he died.. I thought about it a few times.. Ok. wheewh passed that one now. My grandmother lived into her 90's.

 

Yes having your spouse ill, or needing testing, surgery or whatever is Very hard. And awaiting test results can be like watching paint dry...

 

Hoping the VERY BEST for both of you.

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Marty,

 

Best wishes and (((hugs))) to Mrs. Marty and you. The awaiting of test results is HE** for sure.

 

My Dad was mid 50's when he passed...I'm 53 so I can relate to what you're saying. On the flip side, his Mom passed last year at the age of 93.

 

I don't have a spouse, but have my daughter to worry about - unfortunately, she has inherited the "female" plumbing problems I had inherited from my mother and her mother. I pray her problems will not be worse than mine - this is something we will be addressing with our PC on 11-23.

 

Hang in there.

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Marty:

 

waiting for results is defintely toture, but based on past statistics she will be around for long time. whatever it will be together you both will be able to get through.

 

My best wishes & prayers for your family.

 

Asha

 

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hi marty,

it is tough to wait for test results when they are our own and it gets even harder when they are for a loved one. we can't change someone who is born a person who worries before they know the results of a test. you are right, we can't change the outcome of the test but maybe try to make the waiting easier for you wife by talking, listening, watching a movie or doing something you both enjoy to take her mind off the test results.

sitting in waiting rooms or having tests is the pits. i wish both of you the best! keep us posted. kathy

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marty, you are right about the worrying part but its human nature i guess. don't worry over things you cannot change, jusy worry about the things you can change. i sincerely hope your wife has good results from her tests. as we age, it seems every little thing sends us into a tizzy of worry. lets hope being with family and friends for the holiday will get your minds off of it. i wish you both the best.

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MARTY,

 

I WILL BE PRAYING FOR BOTH YOU AND YOUR WIFE AS YOU WAIT THE TEST RESULTS. I'M NOT VERY PATIENT AT WAITING SO I CAN RELATE. ONLY THING IS, WE SURE CAN'T CHANGE THE OUTCOME BY WORRYING. HAVE A GOOD WEEK AND TRY NOT TO WORRY. :friends:

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As my husband's caregiver one of my most dreaded events is that of my needing medical attention - or even the flu. It is virtually impossible for me to be ill. Last summer it was necessary for me to have some minor surgery. Normally I would have gone home within a few hours of the procedure, however the doctor mandated that I stay overnight. Even at that I had to make special arrangements for Bill's care and I was relieved that I had pain medication so I could have as little time "down" as possible.

 

I'm sorry your wife is experiencing health issues, Marty. From our perspective as caregiver our health concerns are just as frightening to us as they are to you. You are absolutely correct in your perception that you aren't in control. There are times when we want to be in control of our loved one's health because we want to take away the fear, the uncertainty, the questions and yes the waiting. It's at these times I'm reminded that I need to take each day as it comes and not borrow from tomorrow. Take a deep breath, whisper a prayer and be thankful for this woman who you love and who loves you.

 

Warmly,

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WELL KIDS, THANKS FOR THE PRAYERS AND KIND WISHES. TWO OF THE THREE TESTS CAME BACK NEGATIVE, SO WE ANTICIPATE EVERYTHING IS OK. OR AS I TOLD MY WIFE, IF SHE GETS SICK, I'LL KILL HER. I'M WAITING TO FIND OUT IF DREW PETERSON GETS AWAY WITH MURDER, SO I HAVE AN EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW.

 

TO THE FBI: IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'M JUST KIDDING. HONEST, JUST KIDDING. REALLY, JUST KIDDING.

 

MARTY :big_grin:

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MARTY, AS USUAL YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR IS PRICELESS. I'M HAPPY THE TESTS CAME BACK GOOD RESULTS, THE REST WILL BE THE SAME I BET. NOW YOU BOTH CAN GO OUT AND CELEBRATE. THANKS FOR THE UPDATE.

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Marty,

 

Thank you for the update. So glad to hear test results are negative. To be on the safe side though, do remove the barrel from the property completely and store it in a secluded location. You can always retrieve it later if you need to use it. :zipped:

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MARTY,

 

I'VE BEEN READING YOUR UPDATES AND FOLLOWING WHAT YOU AND YOU'RE WIFE HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH. I'M HAPPY THINGS ARE BETTER. JUST WANT TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOUR DARK SENSE YOUR HUMOR! I ESPECIALLY ENJOYED YOUR LAST POST! TOO FUNNY!! :lol:

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