Abranson

Stroke Caregiver - female
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About Abranson

  • Birthday 02/08/1969

Contact Methods

  • Stroke Network Email
    Yes

Shared Information

  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
    12-31-2015
  • How did you find us?
    Google Search

Registration Information

  • First Name
    Audra
  • State
    Ok

Abranson's Achievements

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  1. Abranson

    Presidents Day

    Thanks for bringing a smile to my face. Sleeping in, eating good, watching a quality game...adds up to a pretty sweet day in my opinion.
  2. This is a letter I found that I'm not even sure if I sent to a friend of mine on a writing website. Hey friend, I'm about to type some things and I'm not completely sure why and I definitely don't want to burden you or make you feel awkward but honestly I'm at a loss. Have you ever had something happen in your life that you couldn't talk about to those around you because it was too real with so many layers, but you still needed to get it out? So I tried blogging it, but besides the fact that no one reads blogs it's been too goodnot like talking to someone ...yet, for chicken's sake someone you don't have to worry about coming face to face with. I was just surfing around wdc and your name just kept coming up. I almost went to your humor folder because it is amazing, but laughter isn't what I need now. I need to be honest with someone. A week ago today my 46 year old husband had a stroke. He was alone in our house laying on the floor for six hours. I realized something was wrong when I was over an hour's drive away. That night the doctor didn't expect him to make it. I was numb. You hear the term mind spinning but I don't think most people really understand the feeling. It is a week later, we are in one of the best stroke rehab centers in the state. I have so much to be thankful for. He is alive. Cognition and memory are great. Slight drooping of the mouth on the left side. Numbness in left hand and leg; but he is progressing. During the day, I am his cheerleader and his strength. I am strong in front of others so they aren't afraid and so they won't minimize or try to cure my feelings. At night, like right now, I sit in my bed/chair listening to the only man I've ever felt true love for and listen to him breath. It is my only comfort. Ken, despite my faith and what ever common sense I have I can't get a grip on the cluster of emotions. I'm sad, scared, grateful, mad, hopeful, tired, lonely,flustered, lost, confused, overwhelmed, optimistic, and about 40 more I can't put a finger on. The question in my mind now is not so much why but how. How do I ever leave him again? How do I reassure him when I develop new fears hourly? How long can I remain strong? How is it possible that people are continuing on with life? How many tears can a human possibly have in them? How do I repay the sacrifices and kindness of others? How long can I go without feeling him hold me? How do I deal with this? Sorry to spill my heart out. Feel free to just hit delete. I already do feel better by just verbalizing it well writing it. Love you, Audra
  3. 100 Things About Me 1. My name is Audra. 2. I was named after a character on the television show The Bug Valley. 3. I have an older sister, named Amy, and an older brother, named Will. 4. I have a 19 year old son, Reese. 5. I am married to the love of my life, Bruce. 6. We attended kindergarten through high school graduation together, but only married 8 months ago. 7. I am 47. 8. My birthday is February 8, 1969. 9. I am a middle school and high school teacher. This year I was teaching 8th grade English, 7th & 8th grade Home Economics, and high school Psychology. 10. I have taken off this semester to help my husband. He suffered a massive stroke on December 31st. 11. I live outside the super small town of Mulhall in Oklahoma. 12. My favorite color is blue. 13. I graduated from Arizona State University in 1992 with a B.A. in Psychology. 14. My freshman year I attended Oklahoma State University. 15. I was a feature twirler at both schools. 16. When I was growing up my dad was a meat market manager at Safeway and farmed, and my mom taught kindergarten (and told me never to become a teacher.) 17. We live on 80 acres about five miles out of town. 18. Growing up, I lived on 160 acres about five miles from Crescent, Oklahoma. I couldn’t wait to move to the city. 19. We have three inside cats: Matt, Indy, and Ty. My son’s dog, Betty stays with us while he attends OSU. We have a plethora of outside cats and 3 horses. 20. I’ve never even been on a horse. 21. I don’t know how to ride a bicycle. 22. I detest peas. 23. I have blonde hair. 24. I have blue eyes. 25. I am a little over 5’6”. 26. I was valedictorian of my high school. (It was small). 27. I have three younger adopted sisters: Rose, Violet, and Daisey. 28. I am afraid of mice and white vans. 29. I am certified to teach middle school Social Studies, elementary 1st thru 6th, and 6th thru 12th English, Family and Consumer Science (Home Ec), Speech/Drama, Journalism, Psychology, and I think that’s it. 30. Change makes me anxious but when it occurs I most often embrace it. I mean there is no use fighting it, right? 31. I’m not much of a house cleaner, but I love to organize. 32. My faith and love for God are what keep me going and smiling. 33. I enjoy doing random acts of kindness. 34. I love to write. 35. I’ve had a short story published in a anthology of short stories and several stories and poems published on online sites. 36. My favorite drink is unsweetened tea. 37. One of my favorite relatives is my 96 year old grandmother, Mema. She still lives in her own house and mows her own lawn if my brother doesn’t beat her to it. 38. My middle name is Lea pronounced lee. 39. I have insomnia. (One reason that I am writing this list.) 40. When I do sleep, I have vivid dreams, sleep walk, talk in my sleep, and eat in my sleep. My husband is a lucky man, huh? 41. I have two uvulas. It is my freak factor. 42. I love online shopping, but would just as soon go to the dentist as to go to a mall or outlet center. 43. I still look forward to mail even when I know most days it will be bills or advertisements. 44. I have been in a plane, train, and bus but not on a boat. 45. Favorite TV shows are Criminal Minds and So You Think You Can Dance, and of course, Big Bang Theory. 46. I had both my knees replaced at the same time. It was a great decision. For real, I’m not being sarcastic. 47. I think letter writing is becoming a lost art and that saddens me. 48. I love the water. 49. My favorite season is winter. I’m not a big fan of heat and feeling nasty sweaty the minute you walk outside. 50. I got and paid for my first car when I was 16. It was a blue Ford EXP 1982. I rolled it three months later. 51. I started teaching baton twirling and dance when I was 13 and continued throughout college and after until I decided to go into education. Sadly, I made more money teaching dance than I do teaching school. 52. I had state and national winners in both twirling and dance. 53. I was a three time national baton twirler back in the day. 54. In high school, I was a cheerleader. 55. I didn’t fit into any one group in school so I didn’t have that best friend forever experience until later in life. 56. In college, unbeknownst to me I taught for a man who was wanted by the FBI and was later featured on Unsolved Mysteries. I don’t know if he was ever caught. 57. I can’t stand to have my feet trapped under the covers. 58. My social security number is … Lol just kidding. I have an odd sense of humor. 59. I can’t seem to keep plants alive. 60. A far out there dream I have is to be on the Ellen show. She’s funny and generous. I admire that. 61. I type correctly (thank you, Mrs. Jacobs) and pretty quickly. 62. Given time, I enjoy reading almost anything. Well, I’m not a big sci-fi fan, but who knows? 63. I have been teacher of the year 3 times at our school. 64. I don’t know how to drive a stick shift. 65. I have always loved to color, long before the adult coloring fad began. 66. I enjoy sewing but I’m relatively new to it so I’m not very good yet. 67. I love to hold hands in public. And even kiss my husband. I mean not a tongue swapping show at Olive Garden or anything, but a reminder to him that I’m glad we are sharing this moment. 68. I have a creative side but often it ends up in a big mess because I’m too lazy to finish or clean up. 69. I am obsessed with Sharpies. 70. My first words were ‘dummy, stupid baby’ thanks to my older sister and brother. They found it hilarious. 71. I had a kidney stone the size of a golf ball. Yeah, that was not fun even with the morphine. 72. My husband, son, and I are saving for a road trip to Montana. Whenever we get a five dollar bill, we put it in the trip box. Since August, we have saved around $800. 73. I think everyone should be met with a smile. It might be the first one they have seen that day. 74. Politics make my head hurt. 75. We don’t have cable, but I’m working to convince my husband. 76. I’ve been to about 20 states. 77. I love a rainy night. Thank you, Eddie Rabbit for expressing my feelings so well. 78. My music taste is eclectic. George Strait, Puddle of Mudd, The Guess Who, B.B. King, Kermit the Frog, Prince, Curtis Stingers, Kathy Trocolli, big band, etc. Just keep the rap, screaming, and classical away, please. 79. Favorite pro team is the Carolina Panthers. Sad, sad Super Bowl. 80. Favorite college team is OSU Cowboys. Go Pokes! 81. I am on my cell phone too much. 82. I love researching things. 83. I’m right handed when I write but if it is an athletic thing my left hand is dominate. 84. I think sex is a wonderful thing. I mean as long as it is consensual. Good communication is the key to…well, you get the idea. I won’t draw you a picture. 85. I am horrible at drawing. 86. My favorite holiday is Christmas. 87. I used to dislike Valentine’s Day because I think it is a set up for couples to fight and singles to feel inadequate. However, my husband and I started a tradition where we don’t get each other things but instead make cupcakes and deliver them to people in our lives that are special or people we know are having a hard time. I love February 14th now. 88. I would rather wash than dry the dishes. 89. I have changed a thermocoupler on a hot water heater twice. (The things you must learn to do as a single woman…whew) 90. I have never been a fan of physical labor or even the outdoors. But lately I have found out that I am stronger physically and mentally than I thought. And while I don’t jump up and down at the opportunities to make my body sore, I don’t dread it either 91. I can touch my tongue to my nose. 92. My second toe is much longer than my big toe. In fact, my third toe is almost longer than it too. Freakazoid me. 93. I love to buy shoes but prefer to walk around barefoot. 94. Grammar/spelling mistakes drive me crazy in books or on signs. I guess you could say I am a grammaraholic. (I know there are mistakes in here but it’s a blog and four in the morning so it doesn’t count.) 95. I wish I had a hot tub, a turtle, a puppy, cable, and unlimited Wi-Fi, but I am happy and content without them. 96. My skin is pale white without the ability to tan, but my bruises do bring some color to it. 97. The first thing I do when I come home is take off my shoes and bra. If my husband beats me home, I do kiss him first. 98. I use a cpap machine at night. I am one sexy lady, huh? Lol. 99. I love star gazing but don’t do it often enough. 100. I am capable of coming up with a 100 things about me! Whew, time for a glass of wine and a nap. Audra
  4. To say I'm tired is more of an understatement than saying the hulk is slightly larger than Denace the menace. If I sleep, I have reoccurring nightmares of losing my husband. They are not always the same but the theme is. I awake finally gasping for air, crying, and with my whole being filled with terror. I lay the rest of the night listening to Bruce's breathing as he sleeps soundly. It is a never ending cycle. I will be unable to go to sleep some nights for fear of my dreams. And trust me, my body craves sleep. Before his stroke, I will come home from teaching middle school physically and mentally exhausted; that was a cake waLk compared to now. Everyone says, "Make sure you take time for yourself.". Pffft! I mean in theory it sounds nice, but which time should I do that? When Bruce needs assistance going to the bathroom? When appointments need to be made? When lesson plans must be prepared for my substitute? Dressing? (Maybe that one. We can just be a bundle of outpouring flesh all day). When animals need fed? House chores? (This one is already badly suffering.). I'm not complaining; I'm just being realistic. I know it will get better. We will get the schedule down and eventually my body will adjust and all my limbs will quit feeling like the muscles and bones are having a bonfire in me. But when will the nightmares stop? When will I allow my mind and heart relax from fear? I do pray and try to turn it over to God. I wonder if the fear and images of the day of his stroke will ever diminish. He doesn't remember much which is a blessing. My mind however is a flash of Polaroid moments and pieces of conversations that weave in and out my mind daily and obviously nightly. Always leave with a positive note: Yesterday we visited a Christian free clinic one of the stroke nurse had recommended. Everyone who works there is a volunteer. It was amazing. We left with free meds that would have cost us several hundred dollars and an appointment with the head of neurology at a major hospital for tomorrow. All free of charge! People are good.
  5. Abranson

    Another small step

    That is extremely impressive! I'm sure your wife is not only thankful, but proud as well. Yesterday, my husband was looking a little down when I stopped at a gas station. (He has almost no controlled movement in his left arm and is just recently gaining strength in his left leg.) He said, "I'm sorry. I wish I could pump the gas for you." I almost said that it was no big deal. But then I realized it was to him. So I said, "Okay, let's do it." It meant another transfer into the wheel chair and repelling up to the pump so there was enough room, and probably at least 20 minutes longer than it would have taken. But we both felt accomplished. I will not allow this stroke to take away what he considers his man card. So I applaud you and your wife on your accomplishment. By the wAy, I hate changing windshield wipers too!. That's a job for our son.
  6. Abranson

    Untitled Album

  7. How to start? I guess as abruptly and fragmented as this life change arose. My husband had a stroke December 31, 2015. He was 46 years old. I'm not going to go into the details for two reasons. 1. I've discovered that everyone has a story, and often the narrator is the only one listening to it and being affected. 2. Today is my birthday, and I choose not to relive it right now. I will say that I never thought something so horrible could result in so many wonderful things. I know that sounds weird, right? But in some ways it's true. I've seen compassion I wasn't sure existed. My walk with God is stronger. I get to be with my husband all the time. I've realized I'm stronger than I ever dreamed in many ways. And the laughter,,,we can't forget the laughter, without it I don't know how we would have gone forward. I have a feeling most my blogs will be interrupted...like now. Oven repairman just called to say he's on his way, school called to clarify lesson plans, and Bruce woke up so we need our morning time together. Audra
  8. Happy Birthday Abranson!

  9. Welcome to the forums Abranson :)