swilkinson

Sometimes I wonder how I got to be 76. Why it just seems like yesterday I was a young Mum with small kids and a hectic life and now I am an old lady sitting three times a week having coffee with a bunch of old people I call friends and we discuss various health complaints that slow us down and make us look...well..old. At least we have that is common. We may not be young and maybe sometimes feel sad about that for a minute or two. But then we laugh and say: "Well I'm still here." And that is where I am right now. The summer is over here in Oz and we've just gone off daylight saving so it's going to get darker earlier now. It's a relief really as it's been a hell of a summer. It was not so much the heat but wearing waist to toe pressure stockings meant the humidity made life very difficult. I seriously neglected the garden and am only just starting to get it back under control. Weeds really love humidity and parts of it look like an overgrown jungle. I haven't kept up with a lot of my older more distant friends so that is on.my "to do list" too. At my age there are so many funerals of older friends that that is my major source of socialising...lol. So I seriously need to pay more attention to the.living. Trev and Alice will be here next week for the week and I need to put time aside from them. Alice is 11 now, 12 in June so has some sort of media on the go most of the visit with breaks for meals. Love her heaps and as long as she's happy, I'm happy. Church has taken up a lot of my time this year. Our main minister retired in January leaving Kathy, our part time minister to do everything so I've been filling in the gaps. I find that a bit more tiring than it used to be, don't seem to have that second wind when I need it. More rocking horse than race horse these days. But at least my days are fully filled and I have little time to feel lonely. Loneliness is the curse of old age here. I read Kelli's blog so it's nice to see someone is working behind the scenes on Strokenet now. I think those of us who have stayed on need that reassurance. I love the interaction that being in here provides. Okay it is a long time since I've been a full time. Caregiver but those experiences do not fade with time and I'm here if anyone needs that support. Seems a long time since I hosted Caregiver Chat but there are still people struggling out there and maybe we still have something we can do to support them. It's getting dark outside so I best go and look to see what I can miracle into "dinner for one" tonight. My next door neighbour has been away for a few days so I've just been over to feed his cat. It's another one of those odd jobs I do. Keep smiling and keep well. That's my long term plan too. I'll be thinking of you all, reminiscing is one of my occupations now. I'd love to hear from those I know and a big "hello" to all who remember me. Sue.

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Hi Kelli, a few of us have been trying to keep the site going. I'm glad to see you on here. After so many years and as a widow I don't think I contribute a lot but do enjoy interacting with the rest of the people on here. Maybe we can build up the numbers again so that new people can feel they can not only get support but also make friends here as I have done. Hope you can find another good job but without the stress the last one put you through. Hugs from Sue.

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Are you okay Janelle? It's been a while since we've heard from you?

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January always used to be my wind down month after the rush of Christmas. The run up to Christmas was busier than ever last year. With our minister due to retire at the end of December (which he did) more work came down to the ministry team of which I am a member. Then there were the other end of year parties etc in the organisations I belong to. And I spent a few days selling cakes for Lions in the shopping centre, something I love to do as I often catch up with old friends there. At the end of December I had a visitor for five days and then Alice and Trev arrived for their two weeks holiday. They keep me very busy, what shall we do today Grandma, says Alice so out we go, to different shops, out to lunch, off to visit the other cousins who were visiting their Mum about forty minutes drive from here. Trev and Alice were able to go to one of the local beaches three days in a row, three days without the onshore winds which blow in the stingers known as "bluebottles " up onto the sand. Their visit was followed by a visit from my friend Peter from Armidale who enjoys a visit back to the coast. So I had a full schedule throughout January. But there were highlights. I get out more when I have visitors, I become that socialising person, enjoying shared memories. I always find it good fun having the grandchildren around to lunch or just going out for the day even if it is just a picnic in a local beauty spot. I don't get out as much by myself. I need companions to enjoy it with. And I believe having other people to make precious memories with is a bonus in my life. My life for the thirteen years of looking after Ray and my mother were precious years but very hard work. One carer looking after two people is a big strain. It was easier when I got my mother into care and only had Ray to look after. Of course his continuing to have strokes throughout those years took its toll on him and on me. I was very grateful for the other caregivers and survivor's on this site who knew what it was like and supported me through it. Those who haven't been in my position just can't understand. Better for them if they never have to go through it. I think back to those years looking after Ray and I don't regret a minute of them but they were very restrictive. We could never do anything on the spur of the moment, everything had to be planned and catered for. Everything had to be planned so take into account Ray's disabilities. Everything was work for me rather than pleasure. Which is why I am now an advocate for disabled people and their carers to get as much help as they possibly can. Our care system is good but very limited in the way care is provided. There needs to be a lot more help for our long term caregivers.

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Deigh, other services are available here, shopping is one I had when I was recuperating from the melanoma op. I wasn't allowed to drive for eight weeks so the home aid took me with her to the shopping centre. She also allowed time for me to have a coffee too, that came under socialising. Sometimes it's nice to go for a drive or to the scenic part of town with someone to help you. Always good to check up and see if there are any extras you have been missing out on.

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