wdtony

Stroke Survivor - male
  • Posts

    48
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About wdtony

  • Birthday 02/10/1972

Shared Information

  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
    05-11-2010
  • Stroke Anniversary (second stroke)
    04-17-2011
  • Stroke Anniversary (third stroke)
    09-04-2011
  • Facebook URL
    http://https://www.facebook.com/tony.connelly.5
  • How did you find us?
    Google Search

Registration Information

  • First Name
    Anthony
  • State
    KY

wdtony's Achievements

Associate Member

Associate Member (2/10)

  1. Happy Anniversary wdtony!

  2. Happy Anniversary wdtony!

  3. Happy Birthday wdtony!

  4. Happy Birthday wdtony!

  5. wdtony

    #24

    I got the results from my sleep study. According to the data, I have 3 seperate sleeping disorders. 1. Sleep apnea. 2. Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome 3. Erratic sleep patterns This is the first evidence of the horrible insomnia I have fought for over 20 years. The sleep specialist was troubled at how irregular my sleep patterns were. I always knew I had terrible difficulty sleeping, now I have definitive proof that I am not just lazy and tired. Now, I have to determine if and how this could have contributed to the strokes.
  6. wdtony

    #24

    My pinky is still numb, lost dexterity in my right hand last night for about 2 hours, veryt scary. And I completed a sleep study last night. All results are not back but the nurse told me I have mild sleep apnea. Hmmm. I'll write more when I hear something.
  7. wdtony

    #24

    At 6am this morning, On Sept. 5th 2011 I started to have Migraine Aura. I was not concerned but I was unhappy. I have had migraines for over 20 years so this wasn't scary or anything. After the Aura, which lasted about 45 minutes (which eliminates most of my vision) I started to get the slight headche which I was accustomed to and the aura mostly went away. Normally this would be it and I would deal with hours of a throbbing headache and slight feelings of confusion. But that is not what happened. The Aura came back within 10 minutes and my thunb went completely numb, then my fingertips went numb and then all of the fingers and then my entire right hand. Also my right upper lip went slightly numb and tingly. Well, now I was scared to death that I was having a stroke, because I had never had any numbness in over 20 years of migraine. I was also clumsy, confused, could not think and disoriented. I decided to go to the Godawful hospital. My girlfriend drove me. the numbness went away but came back while in the ER. Also, I had some pain in my numb hand. despite my history of strokes, the doctor decided that I needed no tests, such as an MRI. He diagnosed my condition as "complicated migraine" and "aphalagia". He released me 3 hours after I arrived with little communication. The nurse was adamant that I receive a toradol shot (for pain) and I refused. She was very angry because I said the pain wasn't the problem, I was afraid I might be having a stroke. She gave me 2 options, to be injected with an IV and administered drugs or to be injected intramuscularly withy pain drugs. I refused both (and only) options because I am very sensitive to drugs and I don't need them. The nurse ran off in a huff and puff like manner and did not return. she works at UC and her name is Barbie. Watch out for her. The other nurses were very friendly. I am not certain what happened but I have never had a migraine like that. I am considering going to another hospitalbecause I think this may have been a TIA. I guess I may never know. There seems to be a thin line between complicated migraine and stroke when looking at symptoms. I think they just don't want to spend money on tests. Other than today life has been very difficult. I am looking for ways to escape my situation at this point since no one seems to be going to help me if I am incapacitated. My life is miserable and this is not because I am depressed....I have serious health issues and I am deteriorating. Wow.... I am one of those people. I never envisioned it feeling this bad. Just wanted to make a report here about today. Plus, my right pinky finger is still numb, which has me concerned.
  8. wdtony

    #23

    To Hostsue: Sorry to hear about Ray, I hope the best for him. That is a big fear for me, to have a big stroke that puts me back in the hospital. I hope he is being treated well. Once I get the abnormal CT scan back I can tell you exactly what type of brain damage occurred. And to HenryB: I will get into Physical therapy as soon as I am able.... I have no idea what I am doing and I keep hurting myself because of that. Thanks for the reminder. I am in Kentucky near Cincinnati Ohio.
  9. wdtony

    #23

    Update after a long time: On April 17th I suffered a big setback due to ovger-exerting myself trying to exercise too much. I am not certain but I may have had another stroke. I went into the hospital twice in April. My progress in the last 3 months has been slower than last year after the stroke on May 11th. Now my brain has trouble estimating spacial differences and I get a feeling as if I were carsick if I venture outside or ride in a car. I had been doing better but now I am back to square one. I filed for bankruptcy on July 26th and it will be discharged.... so now I am a bankrupted person. And I am broke. But at least I don't have to worry about going to court because it is difficult even to get out of the house most days and get to anywhere like a courthouse. I don't have internet, couldn't afford it. Luckily some loose signal comes and goes near where I am living so I get intermitent internet about 10% of the time. This allows me a little google and email time. My reconsideration for Disability was denied yet again last week. I have an attorney and she informed me that we now have to appeal again and will probably take about A YEAR to get a hearing in front of an administrative law judge. if I had to work or die, I would die.... it's that simple and the SS (Social Security) won't even give me an evaluation. So that is frustrating because I am looking at becoming homeless again and didn't expect the disability to take this long...... I have been filing for disability for over a year now. The good news: Today I found out that I am 100% covered financially for medical care through UK neuroscience and psychiatry. This means that I can finally get medical care and treatment. God I hope I am not setting myself up for another let-down. There have been so many negatives that a positive seems too good to be true. And my attorney is confident that I will receive disability once we go into court. Thjis will apparently lead to a large back-pay amount that would be a lot of money. This is good news but I need money to live now and not a lump sum later. UGH! But I am trying to think about the positives with getting some medical care finally.
  10. Happy Anniversary wdtony!

  11. wdtony

    # 22

    Thank you. I will be talking to a disability attorney on Monday since no doctors will evaluate and help me. Doctors won't even make a statement about my situation and I don't exactly know why. I am hoping an attorney will be able to help find a doctor who might take the time to help me and fill out the paperwork so that I might apply for disability. At this point I realize that I won't be going back to work anytime in the near future. I had hoped for a more complete recovery but I now know that that won't be happening for a while, if at all. I don't have much left and don't know how long my family will be able to support me. If I could have a place to live and pay my bills I wouldn't be so depressed. Also, if doctors would try to help me find solutions or to even just evaluate why I have such strange symptoms I would be much less anxious. wish me luck.
  12. wdtony

    # 22

    I would rather die than take another psychiatric medication. The last one almost killed me. It is probably why I have had these strokes so you can imagine my apprehension. I have considered it but it is not an option. I do take a benzo to help me sleep, which is the only thing that helps at all and every doctor wants me to stop taking it. One doctor refused to help me unless I discontinued the benzo and started taking an anti-depressant. I explained that if he could help me reduce the panic attacks and improve my sleep I would be delighted to discontinue taking the (once at night) benzo. That's the order in which it must happen. I think doctors want to kill me and then treat me. Don't worry about me, thanks for the ideas though. I get lethargic a lot but I suppose it is normal. I didn't have internet for a while due to the move which kinda sucked. Tony
  13. wdtony

    # 22

    It is September now. The May stroke seems so far away.... but I am still reminded daily that I am not the same. I have moved in with my brother after losing my apartment. I don't have the panic attacks every night anymore but I still get them occasionally. I wake up in the middle of the night petrified. I don't even fear stroke... it is more like just fear. It is very intense, there is something very wrong with my brain and i can't shake this fear. It is scary. Usually after a (during the night) panic attack I am drained and fatigued for at least a day. The fear is the worst part of all this and the weird nerves I get is the second worst part. I am slowly rehabing myself physically. I do a little bit every day. I am happy with the progress albeit slow. I still can't file for disability. If a doctor will not state that I will be out of work for a year I am not allowed to file. So far 3 doctors have refused to offer this professional opinion. I don't have any money to go to a dozen doctors just for an evaluation. This is highly stressful because I am broke. I am going to have to borrow money from my family to go to specialists but I have no idea why it is so difficult to get a medical opinion. I have been told to contact an attorney and that they can guide me to a doctor that will provide the necessary documentation to apply for disability benefits. The worst part is, I don't even want to apply for it... but I have no other choice. The worst problems are neurological now. I have some very weird effects from the 2 strokes. The first stroke really floored me but I didn't know it was a stroke until the MRI in May of this year. The first stroke happened almost 4 years ago (Sept. 23rd 2006) when I had a severe adverse reaction to an SSRI. I am guessing of course, but it seems the most likely time when a cerebellum stroke might have occured. That was when the fear began and after the second stroke it is even more intense than before. The second stroke was located in my Corona Radiata and was called a lacunar infarct. This lesion is documented for paralyzing one side of the body which is what happened to me (left side) I am awaiting a case worker and possibly a psychiatrist for a mental evaluation. I am not sure which part of me is worse off, the physical or the mental. The combination of the two are not good. It is going to take a lot of time to get back on track despite the permanent damage. I think I can make some progress. I hate that feeling of dread and fear. I don't know why, but when I write here the page will run away from me, as if it is scrolling upwards by itself. This is frustrating. Maybe someone knows why this is happening? I don't have too many possesions left. I am making arrangements to have my body donated to the body farm in Tennessee. It is a place where FBI peeps study forensic deacay etc. I have always been a big fan of their work. I want to have everything prepared when I die or almost die. I have a living will (which is ok but it doesn't include the option for euthanasia, which really *beep* me off). So I will feel better when all of those plans are finished. I don't want my family to have to worry about it. I am not obsessed with death, I just want to be prepared as much as possible. Life is still a rollercoaster, depressed and then moments of contentment. I have no direction though. I am not anything, no career. Good days are there once in a while but the future is so uncertain and the winter is looming. If I become homeless in the winter I think I might die. I thought I would be further along by now. I am not superstitious but I think maybe this did happen for a reason. I am not happy about it having to happen if that is the case. I hope everyone on here is well. Goodnight.
  14. wdtony

    # 21

    It has been 3 months since I had the second stroke. It's been a while since I last posted. I suppose my life has been relatively uneventful. I have also been somewhat depressed overall. I still live the rollercoaster of bad days and better days. My sleeping is on a bad schedule but I have started to sleep better overall with fewer panic attacks. Some of my strength has returned but it is extremely slow. I had actually been walking some and getting out into the sun which has helped with the depression. I spent too much time in the sun today though. I thought I could tolerate it but I was wrong. So today has felt like a terrible relapse from the past week which was a bit more balanced. I hope I do not have to pay for this error in judgement for more than one day. I am very dizzy, nervous and feel a nervous energy throughout my body. I also feel nauseous and very tired. I am afraid I may have something like heat-stroke due to my weakened state. It was very hot outside today and it snuck up on me. I still have no idea about if or when I will be able to work. I am waiting to get a caseworker still. No doctor will comment on my status making it impossible to apply for disability. I will be homeless at the end of this month. I would have been earlier but my landlord was nice enough to allow me to use my deposit for August rent. I will not be living on the street though. I do have some family that will take me in in the short term. I used to have things I looked forward to in life. Slowly I am losing interest in most things. Maybe this is a necessary stage in life....to learn how to give up on dreams. Maybe this is part of the maturation process. If so, I don't see any reason to become mature. Life seems bleak, and I'm not even that bad off. I guess in my own mind, sometimes I just can't handle the pressure. I find myself wanting to direct focus away from reality, I suppose I just don't want to deal with the pain. I wish I could write where I stand emotionally but I have no idea. I have periods of aggravation and then of numbness. Being out of work gives me a lot of time to focus on all of my problems and the problems we all face. This only makes depression worse. I know everyone will offer advice, find a hobby.....don't worry - be happy, et cetera. But no advice will help. I just have to get through this on my own as we all "really" have to. I hope I have a more positive blog entry next time. Things will get better.
  15. wdtony

    # 20

    I want to thank you all for the comments. They are nice and appreciated. It helps to write things out once in a while, although I get a bit tired of bitching and moaning. But I think it is good to write what you feel regardless of how outsiders may view it.