Maxine

omg - i didn't mean you guys it was a commnt made by a person whenever any one would help me out that evening... she said you guys aren't helping her any by babying her...i just read this again and sounded like i meant you guys on here ... no way.. u all understand

thanks everyone ...sometimes i just think peope think i am using my wheelchair as a crutch to not walk - but i really do need it to function here around the house..i am one handed with no use of my left arm and limited left leg use - i really wobble when i walk n hate it when someone says just concentrate its all in your head you can do it if you try...and the best ive heard is you guys arent helping her a bit bu babying her,,,that was in the early stages of this stroke...omg - they have no idea how i concentrate and try - anyway - thanks everyone...one day at a time

THATS AWESOME...COAT RACK....LOL...WISH I COUD USE MINE FOR THAT

i WAS JUST WONDERING IF ANY ONE IS USING THEIR WHEELCHAIR AS THEIR HAND NOW ...IF SO CAN YOU TELL ME HOW...I USE MINE TO CARRY THINGS INTO OTHER ROOMS LIKE LAUNDRY,CLEANING SUPPLIES, COOKING ETC...I OPEN ALLOT OF STUFF BY PUTTING IT BETWEEN MY KNEES THEN OPENING WITH MY GOOD HAND,DUSTING N CLEANING ETC...I CANT BEND DOWN N GET BACK UP SO USING THE CHAIR PUTS ME AT A DISTANCE SO I CAN REACH UNDER CABINETS - GET TO LOWER SHELVES IN FRIDGE ETC...BASICALLY ANYTHING I NEED TO REACH FOR OR CARRY TO ANOTHER ROOM ...IVE TRIED THE BAG AROUND THE SHOULDER N THIS ADDS PAIN IN MY GOOD SHOULDER N MOST OF THE TIME HAVE MY BAD ARM HOUSTED UP IN A SLING(FOR ARM SUBLUXATION) SO THAT PUTS PRESSURE ON BOTH MY SHOULDERS IF I USE A BAG LIKE THAT...IVE TRIED DIFFFERENT THINGS BUT FIND MY WHEELCHAIR IS THE EASIEST WAY OF ACCOIMPLISHING MY TASKS...I USE A CANE WHEN I WALK SO THAT KEEPS ME FOM CARRYING ANYTHING AT ALL WITH IT....IS THERE ANYONE THAT USES THEIR CHAIR FOR THIS N CAN U TELL ME HOW AND WHAT YOU USE YOURS FOR? THANKS

omg - thank you all for your responses - see i am feeling better somewhat today...it's like a jeykl & hyde thing sometimes and - no - im not on my antidepressants in case your wondering - lol - today i had my botox injections 28 of those thngs again and am glad that is over - now i have the surgery on my hand coming and another ultra sound of my heart & other appts thru nov. and already have started appts in dec....but again thanks - these responses really made me feel better

OK - I NEED TO KNOW - BUT ALREADY THINK I KNOW THE ANSWER - IS THIS ALL I GET BACK FROM ME? - MY CVA HAS BEEN ABOUT 1.5 YEARS AGO. IT TOOK OUT MY LEFT SIDE - MY LEFT ARM AND HAND ARE STILL NOT WORKING - I CAN HOBBLE AROUND WITH A CANE BUT WANT SOMEONE WITH ME - I STILL DON'T FEEL THAT STABLE TO VENTURE OUT ON MY OWN - I DON'T HAVE MY DRIVERS LICENSE AND WANT THEM BACK BUT AM AFRAID TO TRY WITH ONE SIDE ONLY - MY SUBLEXED SHOULDER IS HURTING NOW WHERE IT HAS SEPERATED AT MY SHOULDER & UP MY NECK- I AM SCHEDULED TO HAVE ENDOSCOPIC CARPAL TUNNEL ON THE ONLY GOOD HAND I HAVE - I USE MY WHEELCHAIR AT HOME CAUSE I USE IT AS MY LEFT HAND TO HELP ME CARRY THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE AND OPEN ANY TYPE OF FOOD ITEMS WITH MY KNEES - I HAVE LEARNED TO IMPROVISE ON MANY THINGS - BUT I MISS BEING ME - WHERE DID I GO - I KNOW IM NOT COMING BACK I THOUGHT I WOULD LEARN TO GET USE TO THIS - BUT I JUST KID MYSELF - I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO GET WHERE IM AT - BUT FEAR IV'E HAVE PLATAUED AND THERE IS NO FURTHER PROGRESS TO BE MADE - I'VE WORKED SO HARD THE LAST 1.5 YEARS AND NOW I FEEL LIKE - WHY BOTHER - MY LIFE CONSISTS OF NON STOP DOCTORS,HOSPITALS & THERAPIES...IS THIS ALL I GET THE REST OF MY LIFE - NOT MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO - AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYONE SAY ONE MORE TIME TO STAY POSITIVE & LOOK AT HOW FAR YOU'VE COME - OMG CRAWL INSIDE ME AND FEEL MY PAIN - PHYSICALLY & MENTALLY - SORRY IM SO NEGATIVE - BUT ITS JUST HOW IM FEELING AT TH MOMENT - BELIVE IT OR NOT - I ACTUALLY DO HAVE GOOD DAYS

I HAVE ATTENDED A COUPLE OF CHAT SESSIONS IN THE NEWBIE ROOM IN THE EVENING - BUT NOT AFTERNOON - I SEEM TO RUN NON STOP TO DR,APPTS PT AND OT...I WILL EVENTUALLY JUMP IN THERE ONE AFTERNOON...ID LIKE TO TALK TO YOU GUYS...I HAVE SO MUCH GOING ON BUT KNOW MANY IF NOT ALL OF YOU ARE DOING THE SAME THINNG...DR'S DR'S DR'S...I WONDER SOME DAYS IF IT WILL EVER SLOW DOWN...PEACE AND THANKS FOR THE REPLIES...I KINDA LIKE THIS BLOG THING...I MEAN I " REALLY" LIKE THIS BLOG THING....I SURE HAVE LOTS OF QUESTIONS ON ALL DIFFERENT THINGS YOU MAY HAVE BEEN THROUGH ON A MORE PERSONAL LEVEL THAN PULLING IT UP ON THE INTERNET AND READING ABOUT

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REPLYS- THEY MADE ME FEEL BETTER...THRE IS SO MUCH THAT ALL YOU UNDERSTAND AND OTHERS DON'T...MY DAUGHTER IN LAWS SISTER IS A NURSE AND THINK THAT IS WHERE THE TOUGH LOVE THING STARTED FROM.....WE WERE AT MY GRANDSONS B-DAY PARTY AND MY YOUNGESTS SONS FIANCE GOT UP TO GET ME SIOME PIZZA AND A DRINK AND SHE AND I ALWAYS JOKED AROUND AS WE ALWAYS DO EVEN ON THAT DAY....ANYWAY WHEN SH PUT THE PLATE OF PIZZA IN FRONT OF ME ...THE "NURSE" SAID ....YOU GUYS AREN'T DOING HER ANY FAVORS BY DOING EVERYRHING FOR HER..THAT HURT ME SO BAD BECAUSE I WAS SO PROUD OF THE ACCOMPLISHMRNTS I HAD MAD THAT NO ONE SEES LIKE TAKING A BATH BY MYSELF.....HECK EVEN SITTING UP IN BED...AND GETTING RID OF THE BEDSIDE COMMODE AND GOING TO THE RESTROOM MYSELF...HER COMMENT OF COURESE MADE ME"CRY AND TOLD MY HUSBAND I WANTED TO LEAVE...THEN MY DIL AND SON WOULD NOT SPEAK TO ME FOR AROUND 3 WEEKS....SHE SIAD I TOOK AWAY A DAY IN HER LIFE THAT SHE CAN NEVER GET BACK...SO I HAD TO APOLOIZE...I STILL DON'T FEEL RIGHT ABOUT THAT ONE...BUT ITS IN THE PAST NOW....MY HUSBAND IS WITH ME AND HE SEES ALL THE LITTLE THINGS THAT ARE BIG THINGS TO ME....AND I AM FINDING OUT THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE THA TNEED TO BE EDUCATED ON STROKES...THANKS AGAIN...I THINK ILL BE MAKING SOME NEW FRIENDS HERE

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER DONE A BLOG - HOPE IM DOING IT RIGHT...HERE GOES....DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE ME,,,I AM JUST INTO THIS A LITTLE OVER A YEAR NOW AND I AM STILL CRYING OVER JUST ABOUT ANYTHING...I AM ON ZOLOFT AND LAMACTIL FOR THIS BUT EVEN THAT DON' HELP AT TIMES AND TAKE ATIVAN ON REALLY BAD DAYS...IM ALLSO SEEING A THERAPIST....HERE 'S MY ISSUE...I CRY MAINLY AROUND MY KIDS AND I HATE THIS BECAUSE I BELIEVE THEY DON'T WANT TO COME AROUND ME ANYMORE...WELL MY OLDEST SON ANYWAY...MY YOUNGER ONE STILL COMES AROUND...HERE IS WHAT I'M FINDING...I THINK MY DAUGHTER IN LAW IS TRYING THE TOUGH LOVE THING WITH ME...I SOOOO DON'T NEED THAT RIGHT NOW....IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS STROKE EVRYONE WANTED TO HELP AND OFFER ANYTHING THEY COULD DO FOR ME...NOW IT'S LIKE A DEATH...YOU KNOW WHEN AFTER SOMEONE DIES YOU GET ALL SORTS OF OFFERS FOR HELP ETC. AND THEN WHEN THEY GET ON WITH LIVING YOU ARE FORGOTTEN WHEN DOWN THE ROAD IT'S THEN THAT YOU NEED THEM...THE TOUGH LOVE ISSUE I AM TALKING ABOUT WITH MY DAUGHTER IN LAW ARE A FEW THINGS LIKE EXCLUDING ME FROM CONVERSATIONS...TURNING HER BACK ON ME IF I START THE CRYING THING...SHE USE TO HELP WITH MY HOUSEWORK AND DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE...WHICH I PAID HER FOR AND NOW WONT GIVE ME A DIRECT ANSWER TO IF SHE WILL STILL DO IT...SO I DONT ASK ANYMORE...SATURDAY THEY BOUGHT A NEW 4 WHEELER AND STOPPED BY...MY YOUNGEST SON AND HIS NEW WIFE STOPPED BY ALSO...EVERYONE WAS TAKING TURNS ON IT AND I WAS SITTING ON THE TAILGATE OF A PICKUP TRUCK...AND HERE COME THOSE TEARS THINKING ABOUT ...ILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN...AND THE GIRLS SAT UNDER A SHADE TREE AND ILL PROBABLY NEVER DO THAT AGAIN CAUSE I CANT GET UP OR DOWN OFF THE GROUND...ALL THE SIMPLE LITTLE THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED...ALSO I THINK MY DAUGHTER IN LAW DOESNT BELIEVE I HAVE TO WEAR THIS LEG BRACE FOR MY ANKLE..CAUSE SHE KEEPS ASKING WHY I CANT PUT SANDALS,DRESS SHOES ETC. WHEN IVE TOLD HER I HAVE TO WEAR THE BRACE BECAUSE MY FOOT ROLLS TO THE SIDE AND I CAN;T WALK WITHOUT IT.... I WEAR TENNIS SHOES CAUSE ITS THE ONLY THING MY BRACE WILL FIT INTO...NO MORE OFFERS FOR HELP NOR DO THEY ASK ABOUT MY DR APPTS OR PT...I GOT REMARRIED 9 SHORT MONTHS BEFORE THIS HAPPENED AND THINK THEY MAY BE THINKING ...SCREW IT LET HIM TAKE CARE OF HER....I MISS MY KIDS AND HOW THEY USE TO CARE ABOUT ME..IT JUST MAKES ME SO SAD.

Thanks for all your tips... i think you will all agree that surgery is not an option when its all you have left........they been doing the paraffin bathes at therapy ...feels good at the time they do it but comes right back...i hate to take more pills but if its what it takes i will,,,,and fking ive been on gabapentin(neurontin) since before my stroke ...i had something going on with my neck n dr. had me on it n they kept me on it cause i was having extreme pain in my right arm...guess im gonna have to consult a ortho dr, now and get him in the mix of drs i already see(((heavy sigh)))...thank you guys for your suggestions

Thanks Nancy I appreciate your response - If anyone else reads this Im wanting to know if anybody out here has experienced anything like this also