maree

Stroke Survivor - female
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About maree

  • Birthday 11/14/1957

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
    04-19-1996
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  • First Name
    Maree
  • State
    Victoria

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  1. Happy Anniversary maree!

  2. Happy Anniversary maree!

  3. Happy Birthday maree!

  4. Happy Birthday maree!

  5. I know that people make plans...then, after they have done so, they say - what about Maree? Maree, of course, cannot do whatever it is, (or they do not want to interrupt their enjoyment by helping me) so they, then have to make plans for me, exclusively, which is annoying for them, and embarrassing for me. My partner solves the problem by leaving me in the car, or on a seat, whatever. Why do they not see, that I would just be glad to go along and watch them rock climbing, go-cart racing, whatever, rather than being left behind as an after thought
  6. I went back to work after the stoke -- for someone for whom I had worked 10 years before the stroke. He remembered me as this wonderful talented bookkeeper, and was thrilled to get me back again. Wrong. I knew that I was slower because I cannot move as quickly and dexterously, AND with the memory loss, my thinking skills are no where near as good as they were. BUT, I needed a job, and having applied for several other jobs and not even received the "thank you but" letters, I thought this might just be my chance to get back into the workforce, by doing a job that I had done for 15 years before the stroke.I did not like the job, and had worked hard to escape that particular career before the stroke, but anything is better than just sitting around and moping at home, so I went back to work. I proved that I am no longer a capable and competent employee, and after four weeks he eventually had to fire me, he showing no end of embarrassment when he did so. So, with that, I lost a great reference, and the high regard that he once had for me. Sure the income over the time was a great bonus, but, emotionally, I lost more than I earned, both in friendship, and self esteem. I found the fatigue was the hardest thing to beat. I suspect that he one day found me asleep at my desk. Trying to do a good job whilst you are using all your conscious mind to push back fatigue makes it very difficult to work effectively So think long and hard about going back into a job where you once excelled. And yes, do tell those who might offer you employment about your situation, though it would be pretty unlikely that they do not already know, someone's bad luck story gets around very quickly.
  7. I believe the problem is that other people cannot even begin to comprehend what it is like to be a competent normal person, one day, then permanently disabled the next. They cannot identify with you what it is like to wake up in the morning and know that you will have to limp around the house doing the stuff you used to do easily and competently, but now doing poorly and slowly with difficulty. And they are embarrassed because they know that they cannot say anything that will make it better. No, "give it time" will improve the disability, no hard work makes it any better, it is permanent, which is the greatest fear of all humans. Certainly both I, and they are happier when I have a "genuine" health concern, like a broken arm, a cold, whatever, they can then identify with me and offer sympathy, which makes them feel good, and makes me feel a little less of an outsider And the worst thing is that they have no respect for a disabled (and therefore retarded) person, so they do not want to have anything to do with you, it is embarrassing to have to relate normally to a person who is retarded, since that then, could identify THEM as retarded also. My feeling is that I no longer produce oxytocin (the trust hormone) and that is why people do not want to have anything to do with me. My partner is a very popular man, obviously producing a lot of oxytocin, and I have reached the stage wherein I do not wish to go out socially with him, because his presence overrides mine, people do not wish to converse with me, when he is around. Unfortunately I NEED people interaction, because life is so empty and lonely, now, anyway, and that people do not want to have anything to do with me makes life that much more lonely because I no longer have the ability to get out there and join in. I have strayed from what I was planning to say, I am afraid. To me, it is the lack of understanding (maybe they do not want to understand) which then leads to lack of respect, and my own lack of oxytocin which makes me socially repellant
  8. Happy Anniversary maree!

  9. Happy Birthday maree!

  10. maree

    Leah Fileman

    Hi Leah. I live in Australia, and I always thought that my life pre stroke was one which anybody would be glad to have bee living, albeit it was very fast paced, and not a lot of ME time, but I did not want ME time since I did not, particularly, like my own company. It is, now, 15 years since the stroke, and, although I look like someone who has recovered, the damage the stroke did to my hypothalamus has caused terrible emotional problems that cannot be exercised away. I still suffer from shocking fatigue, and have, within the last year, figured that the stroke brought on Adrenal Failure, and this is what is causing the multiple miserable symptoms, that until now, both I, and ignorant doctors have blamed on the "all strokes are different" scenario. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to get a specialist to consider anything excerpt "it is the stroke" so I am still trying to get treatment for the adrenal failure, at present. I am just offering this to you, for consideration, if you still suffer from the terrible fatigue, which you have likely been advised is a common symptom of a stroke. Yes it is, but not ongoing for years. Looking at your life, and thinking of what mine was, I suspect that both of us may have been heading along the pathway to AF before we even had the stroke.
  11. Welcome to the forums maree :)