Cipeko

Stroke Caregiver - female
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About Cipeko

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  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
    08-02-2014
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  • First Name
    Cagin
  • State
    Izmir

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  1. Happy Anniversary Cipeko!

  2. Happy Anniversary Cipeko!

  3. Dear all, Thanks for reading, commenting and even thinking for just 1 second of my grandma Adile, me or my mom or anyone from my family. I've had a hard time trying to put everything into words in my last post to this blog, it was not possible at the start, then with teardrops, I managed to write it. It's 12 days since she's flown...and I feel her in the bird's singing, or a goat's calling...How she thought us to love and care...wow...I'm still being amazed. My personal email is; cagin.ipekoglu@gmail.com Love to you all, I'll try and stop by once in 2-3 weeks to read, comment or be of any help I can be to the stroke network users, caretakers, survivors... Cheers, Cagin
  4. Hello all, I don't want to say unfortunately as I know she's in peace now but grandma Adile has passed away in my mother's arms yesterday about noon time, 7th of July 2015, 346 days after her stroke on 2 August 2014. Her organs failed and that's our guess, her WBC count was 15000, about 2.5 times her normal, 6000, no fever, nothing, normal heart rate but her respiration was broken, like a dog who ran hell fast, dunno what that's called in english, that kind of broken breathing. She couldn't live for a year, but she made us or at least me more loving, caring then ever. She still tried hard to make us better, and that's what I believe actually. She thought my mother, tried to ease her passing away in the 11months, coaxed my mother for her safe passage... The doctor said she had some more blood cloths, maybe more than 2-3, although I thought the doctor was making this up, as there was no fever, no irregularity in her bpm, her brain or lungs could be failing, so the doc chose the one more confusing, anyway, can't judge or blame anyone. My family is grateful for all the help, support you've provided for grandma through this network not withstanding the thousand miles and the ocean in between us. I believe she's peaceful now...we all should be...she saved herself and my mother from eating herself away. Love, I believe love will save us from ourselves, save us from the things we call good-bad, because we made them up, I believe everything's happening for a reason, and that's a good reason...so everything's good...something you consider bad is good for your body, we need to stand up tight, strong and care, love ourselves and then care for each other, starting from our families but not caring less about others too...we are all 7 billion people on this great planet with many more animals...Peace should be our main concern, peace inside, peace outside our bodies...then our lives has a meaning... Thanks once again a million for your messages, support. Let me know if you're ever visiting Turkey, Izmir, pergamon, Ephesus, etc... I'll be happy if I could help. I'd make grandma proud Cheers, Cagin IPEKOGLU
  5. Hello all, It's been a long while again. Grandma has turned 85 years on march 31st. It's going to be 1 year since she had her stroke on august 2nd. I'm not sure if she can make it that long , but there's always hope, hope and love brought us to this day for the last 315 days. She's very ill for the last 2-3 weeks, she had her lungs infected somehow (I believe she had this for the last 4-5 years, she was somehow always with the flu and had her nose blocked...for years...). She's now taking very strong antibiotics via IV, still can swallow some soup and can drink water via a table spoon. One strange thing is that she keeps looking at the same spot for hours, focused with her eyes open and she comes back to us at times and raises her only moving left hand and makes the "awwwwww" sound. That's the way she communicates with us actually, the "awwwwww" sound and the left hand wave, either a "go", "bring this", "close the curtain", "toilet"...she somehow managed to create a symbolic hand-sound gesture although it's still unclear to us all as we perceive different things as she waves and makes her sound...lovely grandma... I recently read a book from a cancer survivor, a completely healed person, Anita Moorjani (also a friend of Dr.Wayne Dyer), the title of the book is "dying to be me". It's an amazing book, please do read it if you have the time. In her book Anita talks about her "near death experience", there's also a website on this subject, http://www.nderf.org/ , never been to see the site but I know it's worth having a look, from the bottom of my heart I can tell you this. Anyway, I believe grandma is trying to decide, to stay or go, that's why she keeps her head and eyes focused at one point, I think she's watching the beauty of just being there...being here or there is the same thing...it really doesn't matter for us, because I know, what will happen will happen and it's all for the good of the universe. She may have a wonderful comeback or decide to pass on to the other side of the universe where I believe is where we are...we just don't know it's the same thing that binds us with all the living things around us, that energy or that act of "being"... Lastly, the doctor said, if she can overcome this infection somehow, then she might be back to her previous state 2-3 weeks ago, might even get better than that she said, but she said, she might not overcome the infection and please ready yourselves for her passing away. Well said that was. I wanted to tell mom that, because she's madly connected to her mother and wants her to get better than better...I hope mom has the will to accept the fact of grandma getting better or passing away and doesn't pushes hard on herself by saying "oh I could've done this, done that" because everyone is doing what they can with love to grandma. I can tell this, I've learned, grown-up more with her stroke, isn't that what life is all about, learning, teaching, curiosity and an expedition, an adventure not to be missed...every breath is amazing...we are all are... Love to all of you out there, have a wonderful spring-summer for the ones in the northern hemisphere and a great autumn-winter for the ones in the southern hemisphere of this amazing planet, our home, earth. Carl Sagan once said, in his famous video of the pale blue dot, the last paragraph I believe goes like this; "The Earth is the only world known, so far, to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment, the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known." Love from Izmir, Turkey. Cagin
  6. Hello all again, Sorry for not making an entry for the last 2.5 months. It's day 237 today, Tuesday 17th of March, St-Patrick's day today! yay...Happy St.Patrick's day to the ones who have Irish ancestors...connections, family, etc... Grandma Adile is not well for the last 4-5 weeks, she's quite, sad, and is like given up on everything. The neurologist who came to visit her at home said "she might be going in depression, that's perfectly normal for this kind of severe brain damage, she can't talk for the last 7 months and counting"... Mom and auntie are not happy with grandma's mood, she doesn't want to eat, she does not want to get up from her bed, does not want to do her daily back-forth (inhouse) walk tours...she'd do 5 of those daily in the past...she is starting to forget about swallowing, thanks to Yvonne (was it you who mentioned thick-it ?), we use thick-it to make her drink some water. She has gone through some lung diseases (a hard flu, etc... ) and she had to be on the drip for about 2 days at home, had some antibiotics...etc... I've hugged her for 10mins last sunday and whispered her this " grandma, you are a strong woman, please do not give up, even if you think about giving up, think about how many people loves you, how many you love back...". She still smiles more than she did before she had her stroke...that's really interesting...interestingly unbelievable... Anyway, that's it on our side now, oh she mumbles 5-6 words now as a change...she will start getting speech therapist this week, once a week...guess they will start with one syllabled words then with two and three, etc...we'll see how it goes...I believe she can do it, and if she can just say one word at a time, she'd then start expressing herself and that'd probably boost her morale... Healthy and happy days to you all. Cagin and the family.
  7. Hello there stroke network, Grandma is doing ok, well actually great. She and I would like to wish you all a belated very happy x-mas...and a healthy, hopeful and happy new year full of times where you and we are all aware of ourselves. Grandma Adile still cant talk, can mummble some words but she needs to practice with a speech therapist, probably in the new year. Her eldest daughter, my auntie Nursun has came to visit her with her 2 daughters (my nieces Burge and Gunce) and her grandson, Beliz (14yrs old little lady) some weeks ago. She stayed with grandma for nearly 2 weeks...gave mom some time off...=) Grandma Adile was very happy to see her first child next to her, she started crying when she saw her...she felt great I believe... Grandma Adile is very very sensitive these days, way too much sensitive, and we cant know why. She seems very attached to my mother, gets worried when mom is late to visit her...etc... that's an interesting point to mention. Anyway, her fight is still on...and I really am grateful to meet you all, your help within the last half of this year boosted grandma's healing process. I am wishing you all health, happiness and joy in 2015 and hope 2015 is the year the world starts to realise that we are the only cure to ourselves, love is the only cure. As Carl Sagan once said, "there s no hint that help will come from elsewhere (deep space), we might be alone in the universe, and we are the only ones who could save us from ourselves"... cheers, happy new year all... Cagin
  8. Hello all, It's been a long time since last entry. Grandma Adile is doing great, she's learned to carry her own paralysed leg, and she even learned to climb up and down the stairs in her own apartment, thanks to the great physio therapist's efforts. I'm now sharing a video of my grandma with you all, this was taken on day93, she's trying to walk with her cane, nowadays she has shown great progress and is getting out of bed on her own, and walks on her own too...I don't know how to express my feelings toward her, I see her 2hrs every week, let her listen to my voice on the phone at times...oh 6th of november, it was my birthday and I asked her whilst I was visiting her "grandma, how old I am now?" , she said "thirtttyyyy sixxx"...my eyes lightened, I hugged her...although I was 38, her effort to say this outloud...thirty six...was amazing...I feel 16 by the way...haha... I,we still owe her improvements to you all here on stroke network...who is still helping us, supporting us by just being here, all the way through hard times and good times...thanks a million all...I'll be back with more, I aim to have an entry every week. Healthy and happy days to all of you out there...oh well...HAPPY THANKSGIVING all...we don't celebrate this over here in Turkey but since I was brought up in an american college, oh thanks to zillion movies and music I've seen in the past years...I'm aware of the day...november 27...happy thanksgiving all..enjoy the love between you, your families, and everyone around you. Here's grandma Adile's video...
  9. Sue, I've been postponing to read your entry for 2-3days, and this morning, its 10:56am here, I said ok..must read...well I did finally and enjoyed every line.. Amazing stuff to do what you like and I'm so happy you're still on strokenet... An award at 67yrs of age, congrats for that as well... Keep on moving Sue! PS: Hope I can dance on day as my mom says am talented, but I'm just too shy for Salsa and Tango, but would hop and turn and jump from time to time when I hear barn music, or Irish melodies, like tap dancing...need to get myself up and try it out someday. cheers, Cagin
  10. Thanks for the lovely comments, Sue, Iwisman and Yvonne. I'll post a new entry now. Iwisman, thanks for the reminder on the shower chair, I'll look into that, but for now grandma seems to be ok with a small chair without the back part, it's a small stool. Mom says she'll put some hard rubber to the legs of that stool for high friction and safety, but said they were fine.
  11. Hello and good morning all, it's 7:38am, on a beautiful saturday morning in Izmir, Turkey. 1st of november (day91). So happy halloween to all of you out there, was it last night or this night again...hope the children had great fun...and of course yourselves, as parents and grandparents... well I've been to my grandma yesterday for 1 hour...She was having her PT exercises...I met the PT, talked to him for a few mins, he's a great guy really, he does care about grandma, and had her exercise for 1.5 hours nearly although he's getting paid for 1hr...well, he showed me how grandma walks with her 3 short legged cane...and then she did walk on her own, it was amazing to see her like that, I'd taken a video but she walked...that effort, that laughter and smiling face on her face...oh my god, she is such a warrior and I'm so happy for her...I waited for the PT session to end, waved goodbye to the PT and congratulated my grandma and told her that I could not believe my eyes....and that she was a hell of a warrior, and that I'm so lucky to be a grandson of such a fighter...amazing...she was amazing...she walked 10m back, 10m front, quite slowly, took her time but she did it without the cane which I thought she hates... She walks pretty properly with the cane, locks her right leg knee down (her right leg is the paralysed one), applies pressure from knee up, lift her left a little more quickly and takes a proper but fast step forward, then she locks her left leg, makes it stationary and then lift her right leg up from her waist, properly positions...and there you go...step by step...it was really amazing to see that...,she's learning fast...and I can't believe how the brain learns those movements. She still can not talk but can make noises...but that's fine, that's a different matter. I havent asked the guy if he was a voice PT or not but probably after grandma learns to walk, she can start her voice PT with some other guy... Then she hugged me, smelt me, kissed me while she was lying on her bed, had dinner on a tray on her bed, had her soup on her own via her left hand...and she was looking really alive and like nothing had happened 90 days ago...tomorrow,on the 2nd of Nov. it will be exactly 3 months (she had her stroke on 2nd Aug). She then asked me if I wanted to go via her left hand? and I said it's friday, I'll meet friends, and she directly waved me to go...I believe as her brain is getting back to work, she realises how much time is spent with her, and she doesnt want us there anymore...she waved me to have dinner with her if I wished, and then when I said I was meeting friends, she waved as a "go, go, go"...then I kissed her, hugged her, and left. What our brains, bodies can do...it's amazing... I'd like to post these 2 small videos from BBC of UK, narrated by Stephen FRY. "How can I be happy?" "What should we think about death?" If I can install the Turkish subtitles, I will make grandmother watch these 2 lovely made videos, animations in the near future. Have a fab. weekend all, and healthy & happy days to all. Cheers, Cagin from Izmir,Turkey
  12. Hello all, I haven't been to grandma for more than a week now...not that I'm very busy or anything but just couldn't. Well, my mom was there today and she told me that grandma was really happy to take a shower via my mom's help. Mom made her sit on a plastic chair and then she took a proper shower, her first after 85days...she had her stroke in the shower on August 2nd 2014. Mom said she was really happy to have a shower. Then she had lunch with her nurse and mom at the table, and she had her own food, so she ate it on her own, via her left hand...that's amazing news for grandma. Tomorrow is a new week, and I can't really wait to see her this week...I really missed her. She has somewhat been my energy source for the last 2 months...she was fighting her own brain and she was making us all laugh... I have not had the time to read any blogs but please know that you are all in my thoughts. Healthy and happy days to all of you, Have a fab. week. Cagin
  13. Hello all, 10:54pm on a warm october night, 16th of october to be exact. And she talked, we could say technically that my grandma had spoken today, I've heard her voice, just like old times...it was totally an amazing time in my life that I will never forget, exactly 75 days after her stroke, she did count from 1 to 10..not so properly but she did it...it was the PT who discovered that she was repeating after him as he was moving my grandma's paralysed leg up and down and was counting, so did my grandma... Today morning, I spent 2 hrs with her, nearly, alone...and I asked her if she'd like to count for me, she nodded and said yes, and there she went...1-2 very blurry, then with very clean turkish 3-4-5-6-7-8 then a 10-9...although a little confused, I was shocked, and did hug her slowly...told her how nice it was to hear her voice again...I will never forget today...it was truly magical... We spent the rest of our time with her, trying to tell me that she was hungry, pointed her finger in a circular path and showed the kitchen in the end...but I couldnt get it for 20mins, then we did laugh...big time...I told her not to give up, to try again and again and again... That's all from our turkish side of stroke for now... Healthy and happy days to all of you out there. Cheers, Cagin
  14. Hello and good morning all, tuesday, 14th of October, 10:22am here in sunny Izmir, Turkey. I've been to my grandma on saturday and on sunday and spent some 2-3 hrs with her with my mother and our nurse, Cevriye. She's a very disciplined nurse(caretaker) who had her degree from Bulgaria, a very decent woman of character, and is really taking good care of my grandmother. Grandma too loves her back it seems which is amazing for us. Mom feels so lucky to have bumped into Cevriye hn. Anyway, I have worked with grandma on the turkish alphabet and wrote down names on a cardboard, see if she could differentiate the names which I told her really slowly, puttting stress on each letter, sylabble and then make her show them to me on the board. Well she did think a lot, but she did learn to spot the names from our family. The outcome is that she's learning and we really can't know how much she does know. Sandy gave us a great idea of cutting out photos of vegetables, fruits and furniture from gorcery store ads, leaflets, I will do that within this week and group the photos and show her, and pronounce every letter if need be to make her understand. She got tired after a 45min lecture I'd say, and she showed me to stop. Her gestures are amazing, but the meaning we put on her gestures are somewhat bluryy, when I say she did not understand, mom says she did and then I need to pull back and say ok... =)) it's all a funny phase I'd suppose. One thing is clear, grandma's brain is lighting up, she wants to say something, she opens her mouth, but can't say, then she's not *beep* but she is amazed why no sound comes out of her mouth. When she laughs, she laughs with a sound for the last 2 weeks, but then when it comes to telling something, or let me say trying to tell us something, she holds my hand, and thinks how she can make that sound, then I try to guess what she wants to say, and we end up laughing after 10s of trials...hahaha...we'll find a way...mom and the nurse were amazed to see how I worked with grandma on the alphabet, but I just felt I needed to do it...and I hope it works. Meanwhile, we tried to stood her up (and a note to Sandy, the PT said she need not a gait belt, I've asked that, thanks a million for your hint on that) and make her take 3-4 steps, she couldn't, she just let herself, her weight on us, maybe she did not want to walk...but she does walk with her PT, 10-15 steps forward, then back to her bed. Instead we made her sit on a couch and have her non-moving leg stand on a small chair, she was comfortable and enjoyed the conversation we had with her. She is still laughing most of the time. =) Her airbed under her bed is removed last week, since she now spends most of her time on a couch or on the bed sitting, I believe her back and rear side is getting better, thank god she did not have any bruises on her back for the time she spent in bed was a nightmare to everyone, making her change sides every 2 hrs...etc... I told grandma that I will bring some cooked fish, a seabass sometime later, draw a fish on the board to let her easily understand what I was talking about and she said "ooooo..." with a gesture that meant "of course I know what a seabass is my boy" ...hahaha...again laughter... She refused to be taken to the fair via her wheelchair, the big garden of trees and flowers in Izmir, the one and only green left in the city centre...we'll do that on a weekday since sunday was really crowded there. that's all on our end for the past 3-4 days. Hope everyone is healthy and happy out there, whoever reads this and whoever shares information on these blogs. enjoy every breath! it's so amazing and wonderful...well I got to tell this to myself at times cheers, Cagin
  15. Hello Sue and Yvonne (sorry I missed out my thankyous for your message earlier), thanks for your lovely messages and prayers. My mom and grandmother were always really close, as they are now. Laughter is a regular gesture for my grandmother now, bless her.