Vickie Posted January 13, 2004 Share Posted January 13, 2004 Tammy, I am so glad you are finding some help. I don't know why..but somtimes it seems we have to be on our last leg before something comes up to help us thru the tough spots in life. You experience..and that of Kevin...altho it is horrible, please know that you are teaching us..the rest of us...who someday may be in your shoes, I never thought to suggest to call the police....it is good ot know theya re willing to help you. I am hoping you can get in a different sitution and soon...for your sake and that of Kevin. Let us know how you are doing. vickie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSlark Posted January 15, 2004 Author Share Posted January 15, 2004 Everything is the same here. I emailed Legal Aid, yet again, but have heard nothing from them. I may have to close the bedroom door and call them, since Kevin is down for his afternoon nap. He was turning into a real grump, so I told him it was time to lay down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndChance Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Tammy: If you decide to send him back to the U.K. and you remain in the U.S., you should probably file for a legal separation or divorce so that you both will be eligible for benefits without having to include information about the other. You do not need an attorney to do that. Rene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSlark Posted January 19, 2004 Author Share Posted January 19, 2004 A divorce is in the future for me. It would be my 3rd failed marriage. I will spend the rest of my life single. I've found out that I do better when I'm able to focus on my own needs, instead of someone else's all the time. I've lost myself, and now I have to find myself again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vickie Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Tammy, This is a decision you must make...and I wish you well. I understand that you can only beat your head against the wall so many times before it really begins to hurt! It is true...when someone has a stroke...the whole family has the stroke right along with them....and you are living proof. Â I wish you peace. Vickie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSlark Posted January 22, 2004 Author Share Posted January 22, 2004 Thanks Vickie......I know what you mean about hitting your head until it hurts. I've beaten myself in the head since I was a kid, whenever I got mad. It's either hit him or hit me. If I hit him, I go to jail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndChance Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Tammy: I don't know what "Legal Aid" service you are contacting but by law, every state has a legal organization funded by the feds to provide legal advocacy and aid to the disabled in that state. In Illinois contact: http://www.equipforequality.org  And do not consider this a "failed marriage" - you have not failed, the person you married is gone, you are now stuck with a stranger.   2nd Chance in Phoenix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSlark Posted February 1, 2004 Author Share Posted February 1, 2004 The legal aid service I've been trying to get help from is Land of Lincoln Legal Aid. It's for low income people, that can't afford a lawyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lin Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Tammy, Â Have you tried finding abuse message boards? I am wondering if they might be able to provide more answers to your questions. This message board is for stroke support. I understand that you husband has had a stroke and why you would come here. However, I'm thinking that others who deal with abuse might have insights for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSlark Posted February 2, 2004 Author Share Posted February 2, 2004 I posted on the AOL abuse support message board, but got no responses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndChance Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 Tammy: I really encourage you to contact the P&A (protection and advocacy) in your state. Unless you have actually signed a representation agreement with Land of Lincoln Legal Aid, you are not represented by them, and can speak to other attorneys about your situation. As I said, the P&As are federally funded and provide FREE legal services to the disabled. As you are disabled - you qualify.  I think you said you are in Illinios - their P&A site is at http://www.equipforequality.org/headerg.html  As an attorney, I volunteered at the Arizona P& A and I know they can advise you.  Rene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSlark Posted February 13, 2004 Author Share Posted February 13, 2004 Thanks for the link. I've already contacted them, and this is what they told me.  Ms. Slark,  We received your request for assistance with placing your husband in a nursing home. Equip for Equality provides legal services and self-advocacy assistance to people with disabilities in the areas of discrimination, assistive technology, special education, guardianship defense, abuse, neglect, and community integration. However, we do not generally provide the type of assistance you are seeking. Please find below referrals that may be better able to assist you.  (1) The Illinois Department of Human Services' Office of Rehabilitation Services assists individuals with disabilities and their families to achieve full community participation through employment, education, and independent living opportunities. ORS can be reached at (800) 275-3677 and (312) 814-2934.  (2) El Valor at (312) 666-4511 provides a number of services to adults with disabilities including training, job placement, and community residential services.  You also indicated that your husband was not eligible for SSI benefits because he is a Legal Permanent Resident. If your husband has been a Legal Permanent Resident for at least five years, he can apply for such benefits. Your local Social Security Administration office should be able to provide more information about the application process.  I hope you find this information helpful.  Sincerely,  Sarah Price, Advocate Equip for Equality  My reply:  You were my last hope. Since you say you can't help, I have nowhere else to turn. Kevin would have to have been in the US prior to 1996, and have 10 years of work credits in order to qualify for SSI/SSDI. He's only been here since 1999, and has never worked in this country. He refused to work for less than $20/hr, or outside the computer industry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmalibbie Posted February 14, 2004 Share Posted February 14, 2004 I can't imagine what you are going thru! I understand abuse, because my first huband beat me and my kids for years! I never had the selfestem to get out! God bless you and don't think you failed! Liz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndChance Posted February 20, 2004 Share Posted February 20, 2004 Tammy: I actually dreamed about you last night. I think the stress of your situation is getting to me. Sorry the IL P&A has such useless referrals. What Countyu do you live in? I will contyact some attorney friends in IL. Â Rene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSlark Posted February 20, 2004 Author Share Posted February 20, 2004 Rene, Â We live in Vermilion Co. Â Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nells Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 Good luck to you and don't give up, never give. I can't really say much to you as its already been said. Just think of yourself, do whats best for you. I was a career now im a stroke suviovor, sometimes i think if only i had thought of myself. The very best of luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLSlark Posted May 27, 2004 Author Share Posted May 27, 2004 Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nells Posted May 27, 2004 Share Posted May 27, 2004 no problem Tammy sorry im just not to good with words i know what i would like to say, but can't find the words, but i will keep checking here to find out how you get on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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