Grannyjudymac72

Stroke Caregiver - female
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About Grannyjudymac72

  • Birthday 04/13/1942

Shared Information

  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
    07-20-2014
  • Interests
    Sewing, crocheting, crafts, computers,
  • How did you find us?
    Google Search

Registration Information

  • First Name
    Raymond
  • State
    WA

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  1. Thank you Betsy for your input. That is why I came back here, to listen to others and what they feel and experience. Listening to both sides of this journey. Thank you for allowing me thoughts to help in Raymonds journey. I do need to allow him hope of something other than what I feel. Raymonds stroke was June of 2014. Sometimes caregivers get in a rut and you have allowed me thoughts other than mine! Thank you again
  2. Thank you Sue. Its really good to be back. I just finished the past couple of hours out in the garage doing mens work. I am very tired and it was hard work but I feel very accomplished. I am too old to be doing this stuff, but it needs to be done and I hate asking family all the time. Yes I know I need a life too. And my daughter is starting to take one day off a week from her job to take her father to his appointment that day to give me a break. Last week was the first time and I stayed in bed all day hahahaha. Thanks again for the comments.
  3. Its been a long time since I wrote. Life seemed to be just too busy to sit down and write thoughts and feelings. A lot has happened since I wrote last year. I just went back and read my last blog in March of 2015. A lot has happened and a lot has not changed. Raymonds condition has gotten worse in a way, but his life style is pretty much the same. We stopped acupuncture once it stopped working. His yearly therapy money ran out for a while and we got through the summer, which was hard in a way. He wanted to do things outside that his body couldn't do so I had to do them. He would be angry if things didn't get done, so I did them. I am not a man, but I did a lot of mans work. Until I couldn't and I hired a lawn service which is wonderful. We have five acres and the service takes care of our lawns, our trees, our gardens etc. The fee is not as unreasonable as Raymond thinks, but he doesn't like to spend money. But we now have a yard service. Many people have asked, why don't you move. Raymond loves all of his barns, shops etc. He has many buildings full of his "treasures" including three Corvairs which have been restored for the grandchildren. Even though they are just 8,10 and 12. All of the "things" that hang out in all of his buildings are his soul, so getting rid of anything or moving is out of the question. He cant have a normal life anymore, so I won't take his love of his treasures away from him. Because he has fallen so many times and because walking has become a huge problem we are in the process of getting him a power chair. It takes a long time to get one through medicare, but hopefully in another month he will be able to get around easier. I have to hold onto him at all times when he walks. One great thing that has happened to me is I can now "sleep". They found out that I have sleep apnea and I do sleep now with my Cpap machine. Best thing ever! Getting 6-8 hours of continual sleep is a miracle. Raymond still sleeps most of the time, other than when we have appointments, and I have given up on trying to get him to move more. My sister-in-law said something this morning that never occurred to me. Sleeping is an escape and I never thought of it that way. He still thinks either a doctor or a therapist will "Fix" him and I cant convince him otherwise, so I just let him think that. He thinks someday he will just be better. Is that common? Well that is pretty much it for me now. I hope this wasn't too long. I hope I can come back to you all and share. Hugs, Judy
  4. Happy Anniversary Grannyjudymac72!

  5. Well hello there dear friends. It's been a long time since I sat down here to write. I received two emails today telling me Happy Anniversary. A year ago I signed up here and was pretty faithful in reading and writing. But then I got all caught up in life and recovery. It's been a long year!! Some highs, lots of lows, but life it good. As you see we both survived this past year. I have learned many a thing in regards to life and learning. I became the man of the house (a shock) at how much our husbands do that we take for granted. Good grief, just the little things that I have had to take over that I had no idea was so physically intensive and time consuming. I have always taken care of the home, the cooking, the bill paying and when Ray needed an extra hand outside I was willing to give him a hand, as it was only for a small amount of my time and energy!! But boy has that changed. I won't even go into detail about the man things I have learned how to do around here. Out in the barns and shops and gardens have become almost tolerable for me now. When I first had to go out into the shops and find things and move things and maneuver him around so he wouldn't fall I was very uneasy physically out there. Oh boy yes do I get tired and wish magically there was a man person who could come out there and help me. But that hasn't happened too much yet, so I just take it one day at a time. One of the main things I have learned is to give a lot of it to God!! And most of all I have learned to allow Ray to heal or improve at HIS own pace, not mine. If he wants to rest instead of exercise I let him. That was a big step for me. I am learning to take one day at a time now and if it's a good day then "yeah". If its a bad day, then it's just another bad day. The main thing is that Ray is alive and I love him so much I will continue to take one day at a time and be his soul mate!! And to continue to pray for his recovery. I have babysat three of my wild and woolly grandchildren a lot this summer and they do tire me out. It seems as though they are hungry every hour!! Hahahaha. But Ray gets such pleasure out of them being here that that's worth the tired I get. They bring him Joy! And a man recovering from a Stroke has very little joy. We had to take the summer off of physical and occupational therapy due to a cap in Medicare, but hopefully in a month or two we can start again. That will be a big help. So my friend I say "hello" again and know that I am doing okay. One day at a time, one step at a time (whether it be one step forward, or one step backward) its still one step at a time! Hugs, Judy
  6. Happy Anniversary Grannyjudymac72!

  7. Happy Birthday Grannyjudymac72!

  8. Thank you for your input my friends. Today is an especially bad day for me. I am really having difficulties trying to deal with my feelings about Rays recovery. He has been to a lot of therapies and doctors and they work on him, then he comes home and either just sits in his chair or lies on the couch. For a long time I accepted that he needed extra rest due to the fall, and I didn't say anything. I just took care of him, took him to his appointments and dealt with his resting. Well lately he has been improving so I have tried to push him to do exercises at home. He is so good for the therapists and is such a good patient, but here at home he is just {sorry to say it} (lazy). I do everything for him and he just rests and of course when I mention it, he says he is tired. I tell him thats because he doesn't move around enough. If you lie around and sit around all of the time then of course you are tired. But he gets mad at me when I speak up. Well for a long time I just decided to let it go. But often I just can't. And I need help on this. What do I do?? Should I just let his recovery be his responsibility and if I do that he will continue to do very little here at home. I took him for a walk today and we went onto the deck and I asked him if he thought that the acupuncture was going to make his arm and hand just start moving again. He said "yes". He believes that all of the doctors and the therapist are going to "fix" him. That one day things are going to just start working. I do try to be positive and for the most part I am. But there are times like yesterday and today that its just not working for me. Well thats pretty much it kids. I had to vent and I have been on the verge of crying today so I decided to come here and talk to all of you. I need advice. Thank you and Hugs, Judy
  9. Hello Everyone!! How shameful of me to get so far away from this site!! I used to come often and read everything I could. But then I just got extra busy. A lot has happened since my last blog in January. We are just now coming to an end to some of the therapy and we will have to wait for about five or six months to start another round. There is a cap on money through medicare and the therapists told me last week that the money is coming to an end for a while. So we stopped PT and Speech and Pool Therapy but will continue Occupational Therapy until the end of April. We have also started Acupuncture and it seems to be helping with movement of the left arm and hand. We struggled through a few months at the beginning of the year. Ray was back in the hospital for 6 hours but I wouldn't let them keep him since last time he was in the hospital they wrecked him. They didn't get him out of bed for a week and they gave him the wrong meds. So one Sunday his blood pressure just wouldn't go down so I took him to ER. We were there for 6 hours but his BP would not go down but I would not let them keep him. He was vomiting terribly and one doctor ordered an ultra sound and they found a mass. We saw a surgeon last week and he said it was most likely a stone and he did not want to put Raymond under and remove his gallbladder. He has improved over the past few weeks and is not as nauseous as he was for a while. His Stroke doctor put him on a probiotic and he is also eating much better, so that has helped with his being sick. We also found out the last bad fall affected his eyes and ears. HIs eyes are not working together and he had to see a specialist and now has two pair of glasses with prisms in them. He has to do eye excercises. It also affected his middle ear which made his balance terrible. I have been paranoid about him walking unassisted since November and finally in the past two days I am letting him move a little by himself. I am terrified, but with God's help I am trying to let go and let God help me!! I did have a lady come in a few times and it was wonderful just being able to get out by myself, but she got a regular job last week and I am on my own again. But it will work out somehow. It has been almost 9 months since Ray's stroke and I can't believe how the time has flown. I think no one is prepared for the length of time that it takes to get through one thing at a time. I have let go also of some of my frustrations. HIs TV watching used to drive me up the wall, but now I just let it be. I do encourage him to get up more and move around, but its still a struggle. I also let go of the constant taking naps. I know his body and brain need rest. I have a hard time just sitting still and I tease him about he does enough resting for both of us. As we all have learned and are learning...This is a long journey!! A journey none of us are prepared for. NO instructions! So now I take one day at a time and deal with it. My bad days are far and few between. I miss being here and will try to come more often. Now that our therapy is less I will have more time. Hugs, Judy
  10. Hello my friends, Today is the first day of 2015. It is a quiet day around here and I have been doing a little of this and a little of that. I read a few blogs and there are so many things about strokes that we know nothing about. Its kind of scary. And with that in mind I have a couple of questions to ask and see if I get any answers. I mentioned in my last blog that Ray took a bad fall in November and since he got out of the hospital its like starting all over again. One of the new things since his fall is dizziness and so much more unbalance. He walked better when he got out of the hospital the first time in July. It seems as though he had more energy, and was more cognitive in the beginning. Ray has fallen 4 times since his stroke in June. All of them he hit his head in some way. But this last fall was worse, as he didn't remember the fall or even getting out of bed. Lately it seems as though his brain is worse. He is a wiz at math and yesterday he couldn't figure out numbers. He insisted that he was 21 years old when he got out of the Navy and since then we have been married for 62 years. I told him that would make him 83. He is 75. He thought and thought and could not figure it out. He has always been so good at math, in fact whenever I have had a math problem I go straight to him. Is this extra dizziness something that others have experienced? I took him to a Neurologist and he couldn't figure it out either and he said since Ray said he feels goofy and dizzy and gets sick to his stomach that maybe he has inner ear problems. Another question, is it common to have headaches? He always gets headaches. Is this a stroke related thing? I believe its called "The practice of medicine" because they are always practicing. There are so many unanswered questions. There is so much "unknown". I also came here to wish all of you a Happy New Year and lets all hope that this year brings us peace, joy and recovery! Love, Judy
  11. Well boys and girls, its been quite a while since I have blogged! I believe the last time my frame of mind was not good. I had to go back and read what I had written last time. well since my last blog Ray took a bad fall. On Nov.17th I woke up at 3 AM to a loud "Thud". I looked over and Ray was not in bed. I couldn't figure it out because he wears a condom catheter at night, so I never worry about him getting out of bed. I found him face down in the bathroom and after working very hard I got him to his feet and got him back in bed. I called the Doctors office first thing in the morning as Ray could not remember what he had for supper the night before, he didn't remember getting out of bed, or falling or me putting him back to bed. He remembered Nothing! The doctors office said take him to the hospital now. Which I did and they said they were going to keep him in the hospital for observation and to run tests. Well after sitting in the hallway for six hours, they got a room for him. And he was in the hospital for a week! They had to keep him one extra day because they gave him the wrong meds the day before and they had to observe him extra. There was actually three med mistakes. So after a week of lying on his back (they only got him out of bed twice) he was very weak when I brought him home. They found no reason for his fall, but they think he got a concussion because he couldn't remember anything about falling before or after. Since he has been home he has gone backwards. He is more tired, and weak and I will not let him walk unassisted, because both times I did, he fell bad. His strength is awful and he is so unbalanced. I can do nothing about the care he received at the hospital but since he has been home, I have had a change in attitude and my goal now is to forget my thoughts and work hard to help him recover some of what he lost before this last fall. Ray has fallen 4 times hard since his stroke. This one was the worst. When a mans body falls face first it hits pretty hard. He had marks on his face which took a couple three weeks to heal. I am a softer woman now for some reason. I no longer want him to do what I want him to do. I accept what he can do for now and try to encourage at least some movement. He goes to therapy twice a week and I try to walk with him a little in the house on home days. I have come to realize what I am capable of doing to recover is not what he can do. Yesterday my son-in-law kept Ray for the day along with three of the young grandchildren. My daughter asked me to go Christmas shopping with her, so my son-in-law offered to take care of him. It was the first time I have left him since he got out of the hospital a month ago. It was very hard letting someone else take care of him. It was like leaving your child on his first day of school. I gave my son-in-law such instructions to never let him get up alone. He must have thought I was a little over protective, which I do have to admit I am very much so. So my friends this pretty much is my update on life here. I am happier now and not so frustrated. I do try and get more rest. Ray has also started to realize some of this limitations and doesn't ask to go to the shop as often. It's also pretty cold to go outside. So I send my warmest Christmas wishes to all of you. We will all start a new year soon and I hope each of us has a better time as we move through each day. Also I wanted to add, this week was Rays sixth month since his stroke. I again thank you for being here for me. Love, Judy
  12. Betsy thank you for all of your thoughts and suggestions. It is good hearing from a stroke survivor as none of the caregivers really know what is going on inside of your heads. I will think strongly about getting someone to help, but thats a hard one for me. Actually not hard for me, but hard for Raymond to deal with. Since we live so far up in the mountains its harder to have access to people who maybe could help. I also think my husband is slightly embarrassed by the mess in his big buildings. There are tools, parts and things all over the place. He is sort of a hoarder and he is also a mess pot. There is one man who does come over and helps with the restoration of the truck he was working on before his stroke, but he won't help Ray as far as walking with him or physically being there. He has his own physical issues and mostly is volunteering to help to give Ray more incentive. I could put Ray in a chair up in his shop while the man works, but Ray immediately wants to get up and help. That is what happened last time. So I am forced to stay up there and watch him and be the helper man. Hahaha, I am a seamstress, not a machanic. And of course now that the cold weather has set in, and we got over an inch of snow two days ago. We now have ice outside, so even going up to the shop is a no no. But I do hear all of the things you are saying. And I will try harder to get more help for me. And I will try and include him more in a safe way. Thank you so much for all of the suggestions everyone. It helps more than you know. Its a busy day for me, but I wanted to respond to this last post.
  13. Another thing I wrote about earlier and lost is the fact that most people have no idea about a stroke. When they see Ray they say, oh he looks so good. But they don't see the broken parts inside. They see no blood, no bruises, no bandaids, not scars. They don't see the inner turmoil. They don't see the pain and the work. That is why I love it here. Because you all do know what we all know and see. So thank you for being here for me as my stroke family. Love Judy
  14. Thank you Sandy for the info. I will try to rewrite some of the things I had said earlier. I had addressed your questions about Rays situation. Rays deficits are he cannot walk unassisted and his left arm and hand are not functioning. He can see on his right and left but only if he turns his head in those directions. He is completely dependent on me and like your situation he can eat what I put in front of him. This is still early in our journey so hopefully things will improve. One of my biggest complaints are is lack of motivation to exercise. He only does what the therapist have him do, but at home he mostly sleeps or lies or sits. Also some of the people have mentioned for me to get help. We live up in the mountains and there are only 24 homes up here and most of the people work. There is not anyone who can help me at this time. We have one young man who comes over a couple of times a month, but he has a part time job, goes to school and now has a girl friend. I am sure things will work out. The past few days have been a little extra hard because due to bad weather I have had to do a lot of jobs outside that Ray would normally do. Like get gas for the generator, start the generator, clean up things around the outside that the high winds have caused damage to. So many of the man things around the house are things I am learning to do. I am a 72 year old woman and becoming the man of the house at this stage can be overwhelming. All of the things I am writing this time are not what I had written earlier hahaha. Anyway I really appreciate being able to come here and pour my heart out. You are all my family and I do depend on your words and caring. I will now try to post this
  15. How come everytime I write a long blog it seems to disappear hahaha. This is the second time I wrote a long comment and when I clicked on add comment it went away.