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CATAWBA ISLAND TOWNSHIP -- Mary Adams' sunny disposition has seen her through adversity.
She was born in Gibsonburg to Paul and Florence Busick. "I love Gibsonburg," she said. Her father was an attorney. "He was proud of it."
Adams, 81, had a stroke 8 years ago. It left most of the right half of her body paralyzed, but she still enjoys her hobby of quilting.
She enjoyed growing up there and playing with her friends. "I was 'Miss Sociability,'" Adams joked. Christmas was fun, when aunts and cousins came to visit.
Adams said she didn't especially enjoy school. "No, but I became a teacher eventually, but that didn't come for a long time," she said. "I was 35 when I started to school."
She married on her 20th birthday, and moved to Oak Harbor. She loved being a mother.
Eventually, Adams enrolled at Bowling Green State University and studied elementary education.
After 25 years of marriage, she and her husband divorced. She said going to college in order to become self-sufficient was one of the best things she has done in her life.
She taught different grades in the Danbury Local School system. "We taught all the subjects back then," she said. "I just remember so many of my kids, and they remember me."
Teaching brought another chance at romance. "Another school teacher said, 'I know a man you might like.' and she called Duey and said, 'I know a school teacher you might like.' I told her I'd been engaged to my television set and I'd like a change."
She married Duane Adams in 1976, even though she said it wasn't "love at first sight."
"Not exactly, but he came back and I said yes."
In the 1990s she retired from teaching and at about the same time, she began quilting.
Her daughter, Beth Hemminger, is the editor of McCall's Quilting magazine.
"Did Mary teach Beth? Oh, no. Beth taught me," Adams said with a laugh. She has a room in her house set up for quilting, with stacks of fabric on shelves and some of her work hanging on the walls.
When she had the stroke, she was not able to pursue her hobby for a long time. "I was home from the nursing home for a year with the door shut so I didn't have to look in here," she said.
She motioned with her left hand to the right side of her body. "This whole side is my stroke side. Was I right-handed? Indeed, I was."
Adams later realized she could move her thumb and index finger of her right hand, and from there she began inventing tricks to make quilting easier.
The quilter uses a glass paper weight to hold fabric and patterns in place, and traces patterns with a micron pencil. She cuts fabric with a cutting wheel and uses tweezers to thread the needle of her sewing machine.
If she wears a bandage on her index finger, she can more easily hold a small pair of scissors with her right hand.
Along with quilting, she also enjoys spending time on the computer, watching Oscar-nominated movies and reading.
"I really have become a diversified reader," Adams said.
Her son, Brad Hemminger, was the assistant girls basketball coach at Oak Harbor High School for many years, and this year he will be the head coach. Adams has three grandchildren.
When her friends or family members visit, many are interested in her quilting projects. "People come to visit and they say, 'I want that,' and I give them whatever they want," Adams said.
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INDIANAPOLIS - As a child, Selga Irbe and her family moved around the world.
But her grandfather’s Indianapolis house always felt like home. So when Irbe, now 29, needed a place to stay almost a decade ago, she moved in with her grandfather, Janis Irbe.
What originally was to be a temporary situation has blossomed into a multigenerational household that Selga now shares with her grandfather, her younger brother and her 8-year-old son.
As Janis aged and suffered a stroke, it became clear he could not live on his own in the three-bedroom house he built four decades earlier. So Selga and her brother now handle the chores, while a home-health aide helps out Janis, 81, with his needs.
The arrangement works well for all. Selga, her son and brother have a place to live; her father, a missionary in Eastern Europe; knows his father, Janis Irbe, is well cared for; and the senior Irbe can remain in his own house.
“As long as he is adamant about not wanting to be in the nursing home, we will do our best to care for him as long as that level of care is not compromised,” Selga said. “Everything’s taken care of, and he doesn’t have to worry as much.”
The Irbes are just one example of what some experts see as a growing trend - several generations, including an elderly parent, living under one roof.
In many cases, children may move aging parents into their home, making modifications to accommodate them. In other instances, such as with the Irbes, the younger generation moves in with the older.
Most families that merge households do so to save money and to keep the older generation out of an institution, experts say.
“We’re definitely seeing more people wanting to stay home, and (living) with family is probably the least expensive way to do it,” said Jan Roberts, chief executive officer of Alliance Home Health Care in Indianapolis.
About 1 in 5 care recipients 50 and older live in the caregiver’s household, according to a 2009 report by the National Alliance for Caregiving done in collaboration with the AARP. The report also found that a little more than half of all caregivers live within a 20-minute drive of those for whom they provide care.
Six years ago, when RosieMary Porter began having trouble caring for herself, she moved from her apartment to daughter MaryRita Gaines’ home. Before that, Gaines visited her mother’s apartment to help her, but when Gaines’ car broke down, it proved too big of a burden.
Two years ago, Gaines, 55, stopped working to spend full time looking after her mother, 88.
Porter, who has dementia, has no trouble remembering where she is.
“I love living with my daughter!” she said.
And Gaines loves living with her mother. Last year, she put her mother in a nursing home for two weeks for a respite. When Porter came back home, Gaines said she had to nurse her back to health.
“It is a big commitment, and if someone had sat me down and said, ‘Rita, this is what you can expect,’ I probably would have run away from that responsibility,” said Gaines, an only child. “But the reward of having my mother here, safe and secure - you can’t put a price on it.”
Some families don’t need to share the same household, just the same ZIP code.
When Tim Surber’s father fell ill, the elder Surber and his wife moved from Crown Point, Ind. to be closer to their son and his family in Fishers, Ind. The senior Surbers moved to a house a few blocks away in 2000.
After Surber’s father died in 2003, he and his wife, Susan, did their best to ease his mother’s loneliness.
In recent years, Tim, a teacher for Washington Township Schools, and Susan haven’t had much time to themselves. But they can’t envision life any other way.
“It’s a lot of work sometimes,” Tim said. “But it’s my mom; I love her.”
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